Nerd Wars Part II . . . Superman, vs. The Hulk, vs. ???

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A long running Internet Debate.
Since the Infancy of the internet Malach has run into superhero debates, Batman vs. Spiderman, the JLA vs. The X-men, Wolverine vs. the World. Perhaps the most intriguing, and the one always hardest to answer is Superman vs. The Hulk. Two being exceptionally strong, exceptionally invulnerable, the Hulk getting more powerful the angry he gets, and the Man with the cape with the bells as whistles (kind of hard to destroy something that flies at the speed of whatever, depending on the version of Superman). Of course since all these beings have different versions, you always assume the most powerful versions.

Malach used to love to enter these debates and bring in his wildcard. As geeks from across the world were yelling about Superman heat vision (the Super Lobotomy), and Hulk unlimted plateau of strength and invulnerabilty (Dude, he shrugged off Logan's claws), Malach would swoop is with a statement that always began something like this:

Pshaw, there someone who would wipe the floor with these two . . .

Of course that would get the nerds all riled up. Their nerdly glasses would steam, their pens would fly from their pocket protectors. And the answer from the nerds was always something to this effect.

Yeah right, who then?

Then Malach would pull out his wild card . . . that southern sweetie, Rogue. After the Nerd laughter (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) would die down, Malach would explain it quickly. How would the like of Superman and the Hulk defeat Rogue, who with a touch, would set them in a semi-trance state and drain their powers away? And if she held the touch long enough, out right kill them, permanent asorbing their powers?

Nerd would try, but they could never get around the touch and avoiding the touch. I think many of them had a problem that Rogue was female . . . Nerds are scared of Females. LOL nerds you lose.

I am Malach and I am NOT scared of females.