Two Florida detectives go to Florida to interview a prime suspect in the Jessica Lunsford case. Lunsford is missing, presumed kidnapped and God knows what else. During the interview, Couey asks for an attorney. According to the tape of the interview, he asks for an attorney eight times in a 46 second span of time.
You don't have to be a lawyer, a police officer, or even literate to know that once someone invokes his right to counsel - you have to get him one. No more questions until the lawyer is present and has advised his client.
Because if you don't, like these two Florida detectives didn't, then the interview is thrown out. In this case, a confession to the kidnap, rape, and murder of a nine year old girl is thrown out. So, if the confession was thrown out, why am I saying that the Prosecution got lucky?
Because it still has a case.
You see, if the police had no prior idea where that little girl was murdered and buried and Couey told them, then the body would also be excluded as evidence ("fruit of the poisonous tree"). Luckily, the police had already searched Couey's residence while he was in Georgia and had blood evidence and other circumstantial evidence that led the Judge to believe that the police would have found the body anyway (inevitable discovery).
So, Mr. District Attorney, count your blessings, because those two Florida Detectives almost set a child killer free.
Couey Prosecution Gets Lucky
Once Again, Good Job WoW.
WOW! More site stat updates.
340 unique visitors yesturday, spending on average, 18 minutes here. Huge jump in traffic over the past two days. Almost 600 unique visitors in two days, and only 10 - 15 of them were spiders, this is interesting, I wonder if this is just a trend, time will tell. We are also getting a lot of non-US visits. It seems Google loves us too. 85 referrals from the Google Search engine, those bastards. Most popular pages past two days?
1. http://www.third-option.com/2006/06/soccer-and-united-states.html
2. http://www.third-option.com/
3. http://www.third-option.com/podcasts.htm
4. http://www.third-option.com/2006/06/cars.html
5. http://www.third-option.com/2006/06/shame-on-you-mitt-romney.html
Keep up the good work contributers, were doing something people are enjoying. If you feel you can contribute to us, contact me or Murk.
I am Malach and I am proud of my WoWees (<--I'm trademarking this).
The 2 best Metal Gear Solid Parody's.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/226467
Metal Gear Crisis v 1.1
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/255487
Metal Gear Crisis v 1.2
These are 2 really good movies. They happend after Shadow Moses but before Big Shell.
An Eyewitness Article on Satan Himself
Most people see Satan as a red guy with horns and a tail. Others remember him only as the serpent from the tale of Genesis. Some (the Bible included) say Satan has the ability to appear as anything that you may be wanting at the time. Some have said there is an antichrist for every generation. Nostradamus (i.e. the crackpot mystic that everyone still believes) said there would be three antichrists before the end of the world. People have said Napoleon and Hitler were two of those. I gave it a little thought, and I was actually shocked by what I found. All of these stories (except the red guy story, but that's just a silly story anyway) overlap when they are applied to one person. One person in this generation has the eyes of a serpent, the ability to warm the hearts of American moviegoers, and the spirit of pure evil. Ladies, Gentlemen, and whatever Malach is, I have found Satan.
Yes, I concluded that Satan can be no one else but the young actress Dakota Fanning (seen here holding a freshly sacrificed pig). How do I know? I have prepared a list:
1) It's no secret that Hollywood sold its collective soul to the Devil long ago. Dakota Fanning is in every new movie imaginable now. Why? Because she keeps Hollywood's soul in John Ritter's skull by her bed. Hollywood was all too willing to give up their humanity, and now Dakota owns them.
2)Look at those teeth. Miss Fanning is now 12 years old. By the time I was 12, all of my teeth had grown in. It's a little too convenient that neither of her canines have completely grown in. Wouldn't you say it would take a wee bit longer for someone to grow fangs?
3) Did you see War of the Worlds? All she did was scream, and I do say she was quite good at it. Some think she was such an incredible screamer because she practiced a lot. I think it's because she created the place of eternal suffering and hears painful, ear-splitting screams on a daily basis and loves it.
I can guarantee you that you've seen a movie/TV show with Dakota Fanning in it. She has already seeped her little self into the cast lists of blockbusters, and it is only a matter of time before she corrupts the Academy. Satan, an Oscar winner? We're doomed. The third antichrist is here, and with her comes Armageddon.
BREAKING WoW NEWS!
SPACEFARMER IS NOT DEAD!
In a huge shocking news moment, and anonymous Bucko has mailed me some incrimination pictures. I went home for lunch and stuffed in my mail box was a package. Attached to the package was a short letter, it read.
Dear Malach,
Spacefarmer is fooling you all. I took these enclosed pictures on 6/20, on the island of (CENSORED). As you will see, he is alive and well, and having tons of fun. The proof is inside the package.
Sincerley,
(CENSORED)
Because of the fatwa offering $68.53 for the head of Malach by the Iranian government, he was worried, so he sent the package through his special "decontamination" machine. After said decontamination, I opened the package revealing it filled with deceased sardines, at the bottom under the little fish were two pictures.
Fearing these were forgeries, I immediatley sent them to the Angry Veteran, who we all know is a spy, and he quickly tested them and authenticated them as unaltered.
So now, Mr. Spacefarmer, you have been discovered. Shed this lie. We all know you are a timelord.
I am Malach, and bring you the breaking news!
Soccer and the United States
Before I begin.
Congrats to WoW. WoW has been averaging 85 - 100 unique hits per day now for about a month . . . Yesterday though that more than doubled to 220. Analyzing the stats, it seems our movie reviews are getting a ton of hits, with the review for Cars, and Nacho Libre being in our top 5 pages hit (Cars was actually number 1 this week). We will see if this continues.
Something else interesting is that we have gotten a ton of links from a Google translation page. Look out for suicide bombers.
Why Soccer in not Popular in the US.
This post is inspired from a discussion Toyi and I had over at my blog. Before I begin, I would like to add, Malach enjoys soccer, and is a fan. I watch it (though not religiously), and I enjoy playing it. I like both women's and men's soccer. That was not always the case. Malach did not begin playing soccer until his early 20's, and that is when he became a fan.
But enough of that. Why is Soccer, the most popular sport in the world, not popular in the US? It seems it should be; persons younger than my generation all play, and there is a large population of minorities from countries that soccer is popular in who have come to this country. But Soccer is barely a blip on the radar here, unless it is the World Cup. To me there are several reasons.
1. Soccer is not an American Sport: Soccer was not invented in North America, like Basketball, Hockey, Baseball, and Football. Over the past 150 years Soccer has had little to no exposure in the US sporting scene. That has changed over the past 30 years though. Soccer is played by almost every kid in every part of this country, but after a certain point (high school), the best athletes abandon the sport to play Baseball, Basketball, and Football. Interest wanes and soccer in nor more popular than it was after these kids grow up.
2. Soccer is not exciting enough: Soccer is very low scoring. Americans like high scoring affairs, and find low scoring defensive oriented games boring. Look what has happened to hockey (hockey and soccer are good comparisons, they are very similar games with similar strategies). In the 50's, 60's, and 70's, hockey was extremely popular. It was high scoring and very violent. As better safety equipment came in, goaltending and defense became better, scoring became lower. As Hockey incorporated similar defenses to soccer, i.e. the neutral zone trap, hockey became a very boring low scoring dump and run game (like soccer is) and interest waned . . . At least though in hockey, there is fighting and checking.
The NHL made major changes after the strike to open the game up. We will see if it works.
3. Soccer players are pussies: Having played soccer, soccer is a very physical game, similar to the physicality basketball. The problem most Americans have is the diving, and the acting injured. How many times during the course of a game, do you see someone tackled; they end up writhing on the ground like they broke a leg, drawing a yellow card. They are pulled off the field on a stretcher, only to get up a second later and run back out on the field. Yes, it is part of the strategy (like in basketball drawing fouls), but to an American whose grown up with violent sports, soccer players are just sissies.
4. Americans are too psycho about other sports: As a native New Englander, we are psychotic about our Red Soxs, close to psychotic about the Patriots, formerly psychotic about the Celtics and Bruins. There are no cities in this country psychotic about soccer. Why? Well the MLS sucks. In cities without pro sports teams they are nuts for college football and basketball. Down South they are nuts for NASCAR, up in Canada, hockey. The entire country is nuts for football, and in the Northeast, it is Yankees/Red Sox. There is no room for soccer.
Will this ever change? Probably not. Soccer does not have financial clout in this country to take on NASCAR, MLB, NFL, or even the NBA. Soccer might be able to take on the NHL. Will the influx of immigrants change this? I don't think so. Malach lives in a part of the country that has had huge influxes of Latin Americans and Europeans over the past 200 years. Those of Portuguese and Hispanic out number those of other European descent around here. Soccer is very popular in the Greater New Bedford Area. Between the current wave of Latin Americans, and the previous wave of Portuguese, there are as many soccer fields and soccer club teams as there are baseball and football ones. But still the kids of these immigrants get caught up in Red Sox and Patriots nation, and lose interest in Soccer. Part of it is marketing, part is tradition.
Can you change soccer to appeal to Americans? Sure. Make the field smaller, get rid of offsides, allow more contact and less penalties. Will soccer ever do this? Why would they, they are still the most popular sport in the world.
I am Malach and I am a soccer fan.
Osama & The Genie
"You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything," barked Bin Laden.
The shocked genie replied, "Please, I must grant you a wish, or I will be returned to that bottle forever."
Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and answered, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you now!"
The annoyed genie whispered, "So be it!" and disappeared.
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance !
Shame on you Mitt Romney
In Malach's alternate life . .
He works as Director of Disability Services for a very large Non Profit in Southeastern MA. What do I do in a given day? Well as the title implies I direct the operations of the disabilities department. I only have one part timer working for me, so I also do a lot of the work of the department.
This work includes many things, but mainly involves fighting for the rights of persons with disabilities, being a consultant on disability and disability issues, presenting workshops and training, and providing referrals to other services.
I've fought them all, DMR, DMH, MRC, MCB, MCDHH, Social Security, MassHealth/Medicare, churches, businesses, landlords, and most often the public schools, especially New Bedford Public Schools (NBPS). Malach is very good at his job, and rarely loses these battles. Why? Malach is a very good mediator, and can usually mediate an issue where both parties are happy and committed to the plan. Malach also knows disability and education law like the back of his hand.
The company I work for provides extensive housing services for homeless families, so needless to say I end up with a lot of referrals from there. I also get many referrals from the services I fight. It is kind of funny, that NBPS will refer a family to me, so I can advocate for the family against the school because the school likes dealing with me.
Over the past 2 years, things has changed with the Public Schools. My personal experience is mostly with the New Bedford Public Schools, but talking with professionals in other cities, this is occurring all over. Normally, when a student has issue, whether those issues are academic or behavioral, and easy interventions are not working, the schools sets up what is called a CORE evaluations. This evaluation is to set up testing, develop a diagnosis, set up an Individualized Education Plan (IEP, or Special Education services to the layman), or determine if there is no disability finding. In the past this was as easy as calling a guidance counselor to get this done. If there was no finding, you could easily appeal and get and independent evaluation. From there an IEP would be set up to determine what services the student needs, from academic to counseling or after school services. This plan is followed by the school and it's administration, and the IEP could be adjusted as needed.
Well something began to change, first gradually, and over the past couple of years dramatically. The first thing, was Bush's No Child Left Behind Act. The next was Mitt Romney being elected Governor of Massachusetts and putting in the MCAS as a graduation requirement, lastly was the massive cuts to education and redirecting funds that were supposed to be for education by that administration.
What results today from this is NBPS will do anything in their power to get students to pass the MCAS (hence the school get a good rating and not lose funding), graduating students not ready nor prepared to graduate, doing anything to pass the student on, get them to the next level, get the problem out of their hair; and cutting of programming in schools, from art and music, sports programs and "special services". So here is what we are left with. NBPS trying to fund their current disabled student body population, giving parents false or no information on their chidren's rights and the run around to try and get services for their students. So the parents come to Malach, who the proceeds to threaten schools with legal action. It used to be you could sit around a table with a team and get a plan in place that was beneficial to all parties involved. Not any more.
Case Study One: Jack.
(Names have been changed) Jack comes with a family history of psychotic disorders. Jack is from a broken family, father is certified schizophrenic. Lives with Mom and two sisters. They were basically homeless 4 years ago, living in a hotel, where he was also sexual abused by an older boy. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a 6 year old (who wasn't) and after the abuse Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He came into one of our housing programs, and I immediately noticed marked psychotic behavior. Psychotic episodes, violence, animal noises . . . All which he would not remember doing. Severe Obsessive Complusion with germs, eating, and people touching him. He was set up in an IEP through the NBPS, before I met with him. His disability on the IEP was listed as an "Unspecified Intellectual Disability". He was labeled as so because he was 2 grades behind in math, and the had not yet gotten diagnostic testing done on him. This was done by his school to get him on a IEP, mainly to address his behavior in the classroom. A Psych eval was requested at the time.
Through this IEP they were able to transfer him to another school, a school with better behavioral accommodations. Needless to say the behavior got worse, the psych eval was still never done, and by the end of the year he was put into a substantially separate classroom, with 5 other behavioral students (this without a real diagnosis that would legally allow the school to put him there). The IEP review came up the next year, and once again a psych eval was agreed upon, once again, this never occurred. Jack's behavior became extreme. The school began suspending him (illegally I might add), and began to threaten him and Mom with Court. I once again reminded the school of the agreement to the psych eval, they once again ignored the request.
At this point, I did it the legal way. I sent a letter to the Director of Special Services (sadly, this is the only way that the school legally has to respond to a request, in writing). A month later, the testing was agreed to. Unfortunately by that time, Jack had been referred to juvenile court as a "truant", "a threat to the school". Police were also called into the school for one incident. He was also referred to Youth Court, instead of juvenile Court, and part of his sentence was for "bootcamp". He finally got a psych eval done, but we still have yet to receive the results. That was 2 months ago. I called to NBPS offices today for an update.
Case Study Two: Andy
Andy is a 4 year old client on mine. He presents extreme violent behavior, wildness, and severe delays in speech, ambulation, and toilet training. He was put on a IEP, through NBPS early intervention at age two. He is the youngest client I have ever seen who was not born mentally retarded approved for SSI (at age 2). He has been diagnosed (again very young but you can see how severe it is) with Explosive Mood Disorder. NBPS transferred him from one daycare situation to another, not a specialized day care, but a day care for typical children. The longest he lasted at one was three months. So what does NBPS do? They send him home. "We can't handle him." They never tell mom he would qualify for a program for kids with severe disabilities (there are several good ones in the city). Why? It would cost them too much money to send him there (about 5x more than a normal daycare). Well another one Malach had to threaten to sue to get him the services he needed.
Case Study Three: Don
Don is a 20 year old with Down Syndrome (don't pay attention to Wiki saying it is also "Down's Syndrome", that is not the name and Wiki should know better). Because Don has a "obvious" disability he has had services since being a baby. He has had good school experiences and good expresses with his collaborative school. The problem. Don will qualify for DMR services when he hits 22. Romney cut huge amounts of money out of DMR's budget. Now, unless you are a person with MR who was part of the class action lawsuits against the state, you can no longer get funding for a 5 day a week program, most everyone is getting three days a week. What is a working parent supposed to do quit their job to care for their child with MR 2 days a week?
And this is just the tip of the iceburg.
Summary.
This state, it's schools and services have fostered an environment of pass-the-buck. They are also encouraged to assume a child is a "behavior problem" without addressing the real issue. I find now, to get services for my clients, I have to threaten legal action, or let the client end up at court. The schools are using court to get students services, because if the court orders them, the tax payers pay for it and not the school. Court should be the final option.
In an effort to balance the states budget, Romney has cut DMR services to a point, where the can no longer provide full services to new clients. How does the state save money if parents need to take on a reduce or work roll to care for a person with a disability, how much does the state lose in payroll taxes? I am sure AV can weigh in on this also . . .
I am Malach and I am mad!
Okay eat this!!! I know this is what you want Murk lol
Okay today I will be talking about the value we put on things or people.
Is very common to see how human get to love so quickly and also hate so quickly, I will bring the best example… at the “Football world cup Germany 2006”, you can see how fans will kill for their teams but suddenly their favorite team loss and they turn into crazy savages that will give anything to kill their own team, I wonder where the word loyalty prevails inside a human head or heart.
Same ways couples that one day loved each other suddenly got tired of their partner same over and over mistakes, where the adding to the scale never reversed.
You know we look for people when they treat us well or when they are giving some benefit to our lives, but we hardly give w/o expecting. A human being is the number one specie to be “given” since we are born, we are the only specie that will never survive being left alones for more than few hours, we grow up and even though we call ourselves independent, we certainly are not near the real measure of that word, we drive a car that someone did for me, I wear cloth that somebody made me and I eat some food that somebody planted for me.
I want to bring specially “Judas disillusion” yeah that Judas, the ex disciple…
Who was Judas? Generally Judas was a strong leader of the Zealots, as you all know, The Zealots were a religious group that would hold arms with the dream of liberate Israel from the Roman Empire, (a sort of guerrilla now a days) , the Zealots were involved in the Masada movement and event. Judas intentions at the beginning were not bad, he really admired Jesus because his wisdom, his miracles and all those characters that highlighted him back on time, Judas had a dream and was to “liberate Israel” but his dream was a bit frustrated by reality, where nobody will have the skills to move a town to believe they were captive under Roman empire. But Christ comes and fills all the requirements, just picture. “A guy that can lift the death and can silence the winds and storms with his word, a guy that is sweet, charming, and that entire town were impressed with”, well Judas followed closely, but later he disillusioned himself when he realized that Jesus had other plans, plans that were not Judas dreams. Where Judas disillusion started? I believe the day he was going to Jerusalem, okay lets start Jesus needed transportation… uh Might Jesus need a horse t o ride victorious? Maybe but he decided to ride a tiny cute donkey where his feet were dragging on the ground, so let see what is next…. Jesus is well received but he gets angry when he sees the Plaza full of businesses… OMG Jesus start destroying all that is on his way, oh he confronted Jerusalem instead of Rome, Judas just lost it because his Idea was to be disciple of a king so his disillusion made Judas change the value he had for Christ from everything to 30Ks. was Judas feeling guilt after what he did? Yes he was feeling guilty and that is what he tried to sweep by kissing Jesus. After that in any book I have red, Judas felt remorse for what he did but never repented because the relationship was broken in feelings and when feelings are involved; there is no use of mind.
So just to share some of the way I see it and also to say that we are no different than Judas… when we give people the value they originally have and not the one we want to give them, they remain because everybody’s value is granted just like any 20 bucks value 20 bucks.
Click...A WOW summer movie review
Spoilers Ahoy!
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Now last Saturday I went to go see Click staring Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, David (big in Germany) Hasselhoff, and Christopher Walken. Also in the filmy are Henry Winkler and Sean Astin......since that is out of the way now lets get to the movie itself.
Adam Sandler stars as an architect named Michael Newman who is a total workaholic who has little to no time for his wife (Kate Beckinsale), and two children. His boss, Ammer (Hasselhoff) works Newman like a dog. One day, after a tough day....and many remotes later he is finally is fed up and decides to buy a universal remote. Passing a Best Buy and Staples, which is all closed at the time, he finds a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He goes into the Beyond section of the store and meets Marty (Walken). Marty gives Michael a universal remote. Arriving home he finds that he can control his life with the remote when he discovers that when he pressed the pause button, he pauses everything around him including his family.....and his stuffed animal humping dog.
He then goes about trying to improve his life with his remote, skipping traffic jams, fights with the wife, work, and even sicknesses. However, when working on a project that would take months to take...he decides to fast forward through all that work thinking he would miss about four months. However, he finds out that he has fast forward through a whole year of his life. And everything has changed dramatically. He is now in marriage counseling, his kids no longer watch cartoons but are now interested in CSI instead, and he has finally been promoted as a partner at the place he workds at. He wonders what has happened to the remote and Marty explains that it is tuned to his preferences and will fast forward through all the things he has fast forward through in the past. ie work, sex, eating, etc. He tries to do avoid everything that would cause him to fast forward as much as possible until he was told that he could make it to CEO of the company where he works at.
Another fast forward through time, this time it is ten years. Michael ends up becoming an incredibly obese man and his wife has divorced him and his now married to Bill aka Speedo Torpedo (Astin)......this is getting no where.....long story short he regrets ever using the remote, it ends up that what he experienced was a "dream". Though, when he gets home it is found out that Marty, the angel of death as it appears to be, gave him a break and let him go back to the moment he arrives at the Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He learns to take things slowly, and that family comes first before work. Now, when going to an Adam Sandler movie you expect lots of laughs. It does have it's humorous moments but not that much. Having it ending up being a dream seems all cheesy and Dallas like and they could've done the ending in a much better way. However, though not that much of a comedy film it is a good family film to watch with the kids.....Despite the language (which is mostly spoken by the kids just for humor.) When grading this movie I would give it a B-. It's an average film good for a few laughs and the family...But I wouldn't give it an Oscar for best film anytime soon.
As a side note, hopefully Sandler's next movie, Empty City, will be much better. It may be drama, but I believe he did great in Punch-Drunk Love...A wonderful independent film.
More interesting websites
Take offs on Google.
Check out Googlism.com. Basically, these guys designed programming that anlayzes web results from a google search and defines qualities of whatever you search for. Example. Malach. You can do this for a number of different things, though not everything seems to work, and I not sure if the site is still updating as the results seem a bit old.
Another elgooG. It is a Google "mirror site" Try doing a search, and then try it in reverse. Fun.
GoogleFight. Take two key words, try this: "Murk" and "Malach". Put them in watch them fight and see who wins. By the way, Jesus kicks Mohammed's ass big time in this.
I am Malach, the bastion of all that is evil.
A couple of Quickies.
Make this a National Holiday!
Angry Feckin' Piper Day! 'Nuff Said. Call your congressmen!
A nice resource for webmasters.
Trumba. Nice way to add a online interactive calendar to you website. For free, but they do have a pay service. Wanna see an example. Check it out. Awesome stuff. Viewers can suscribe via RSS or Email and Trumba takes care of everything. Very similar to Blogger. Play with the calender. Inbedded directions, links to other pages, e-mail alerts, Txt message alerts. Very easy to set up too. Nice service, 2 thumbs up.
I am Malach and I am Jor-El's other son (nerd reference).
Why don't we all get together for some Poker?
Trash talking on a bog is nice, but it really belongs at a poker table. Over the past couple of months, I have really enjoyed the play money tables at Full Tilt Poker. I think it would be a great deal of fun if each of the internet personalities here opened an account at Full Tilt. Then, we could agree on a date and time to jump into an empty/almost empty card room and play some Texas No Limit Hold'Em together.
And, of course, horribly abuse the player chat tool.
Anybody interested?
Nacho Libre: A Review
Nacho Libre is the tale of a Mexican monk, Egnacio (nicknamed Nacho), whose job is to cook for the young orphans who live at the monastery. In order to afford fresh ingredients for the young'uns, Nacho decides to start a wrestling career. The teachings of his brothers state the wrestling is "evil," so Nacho wears a mask and wrestles in secret. This is not a long summary, but it literally is the whole story.
The cast is a mixed bag. On the one hand, a cast of relative unknowns really conveys the whole feel of poverty still found in modern-day Mexico. However, few of the supporting actors make their characters memorable. I doubt I'll ever see myself saying "Hey, that was the guy/girl from Nacho Libre!" during a movie. In fact, the characters are so bland that I can't remember any names other than Nacho and his partner (Esqueleto). To put it simply, Jack Black is the movie. If you are not a Jack Black fan, you'll find little else to keep you interested. Fortunately, as a Tenacious D fan and a person who has seen School of Rock upward of twenty times, I was not disappointed by Jack Black's performance. He has an undeniable energy that he carries with him to every scene.
It's tough to say which audience this film was made for. On the one hand, there is the dry humor and sheer random that may appeal to some, while they manage to include enough flatulence to keep the kids entertained. The humor is not for everyone. Whereas Disney/Pixar movies have honed their ability to include enough humor to appeal to both kids and adults, Nacho Libre is geared mostly to kids and Napoleon Dynamite fans. My two-year-old brother has never been able to sit through a movie without getting bored and crying, but we took him to see it after he fell in love with the trailer, and he has seen it twice without so much as a peep.
This may seem a little off-topic, but if there is one type of person in the world that I hate it's the quoter. Quoters kill greatnesses like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Family Guy by constantly regurgitating the funny lines in some effort to be "cool" only to make you want to drive a nail into their skull. That being said, I daresay I'll hate this movie when school starts up again. There are so many lines that are so out of context that they can be used for almost anything, and I know the exact person that is going to kill this movie for me. My sister has seen it twice and she's starting to catch the quote bug, and I just may have to make her swallow a knife...
I would only recommend this movie to someone who liked the myriad trailers that you see all over the place, as the entire movie is summed up well in those 30 seconds or so. If you love Jack Black and are a fan of he and Mike White's production of School of Rock, you should go see it. If you liked Napoleon Dynamite, and I pity you, it gives off that same rural feel and the director does the same great job of making a movie an endearing waste of time. If none of this applies to you, then I would avoid this movie at all costs.
My rating: 1.5/5
My Rating for Jack Black fans: 3/5. Not his best work, but it'll tide you over until the Tenacious D movie later this year.
Cars
Saw Cars today . . . and now my thoughts.
If you have kids, or know some kids to kidnap for a couple of hours, take them to see Cars. My 3 and 4 year old thouroughly enjoyed it and were transfixed for a fairly long Disney/Pixar Movie, and this was their first time to the theatre. Kids will love this movie. The theatre was packed with both kids and adults, and nary a sound could be heard from about 100 kids.
As for those of us over the age of 10, if you like the Pixar/Disney stuff, you will like this. Other reviews have stated that it is Pixars best movie ever, that I don't agree, but when is the last time you have seen a bad Pixar movie? I detest Owen Wilson, and he plays the main character, and I still enjoyed it. Another reason to go? If you are a NASCAR fan, there are plenty of funny in jokes, that only someone familiar with NASCAR will get. Catered of course to the adults.
The basic premise, a up and coming yet vain rookie race car, Lightning McQueen, is taking the Piston Cup by storm. He is tied in points with the old verteran whose won the most times (modeled after Richard Petty) and the guy who has been runner up all these years (bearing the disposition and physical characteristics of Dale Earnhardt Sr.) going into the final race of the season for the coveted Piston Cup. They end up tie in this race, a first ever, and they decide to hold a 150 lap three car race to determine the final champ the next week. Of course Lightning feels he has it in the bag even though he fired his pit crew in the middle of the race.
Lightning thinks he is the one responsible soley for the wins and season, loads up and heads to California. His trailer truck, begins to haul him cross country. Lightning pushes him, too far, the truck falls asleep and Lightning falls off the back, ending up in a small town on Rt. 66. His attitude change commences as he gets to know the town folk, and typical Disney plot twist occur, etc, etc. I won't ruin the rest for you.
Great characters, funny lines, and of course, typical Disney/Pixar plot devices, you'll love it. The animation is by far the best Pixar has done, some of the shots are simply breathtaking. Interesting commentary also about the loss of the small town, environmental concerns, and nostalgia for the good old days. Larry the Cable Guy steals the movie as Mater the tow truck. And the "cow tipping" scene, substituting cows with tractors is some of the funniest stuff Pixar has done. The ending credits; stay, funny, funny, funny.
Malach gives it ***1/2
I am Malach, and I killed Roger Ebert.
Cleaning out my room (Want to get the cobwebs out of my head)
I've been up since 8, doing my routine cleaning of the house. It's calming, the monotony of cleaning. Consistency allows my mind to settle, gives me an opportunity to arrange my thoughts. Mostly, it's the same thoughts that I, amongst others, are always gripped with: what's the meaning of life, creation stems from what, blah blah blah. The real thought doesn't come until I encounter the task of my room. Admist the smell of the Lysol drenched in the carpeting, I stumble upon the catalyst of my nostalgia; the backpack of my sophmore year.
I grabbed the worn strap, almost too eager to throw it away. Piled along with various notes from the previous year, it suddenly beckons me, lustfully, tempful, until I route through the papers, the binders, essays, projects, and various attempts at insightful writing, tortured sketches, contrived in an attempt to alleviate the boredom of my classes. It's the opening of a floodgate, as memories of school wrestle with my attention. I ultimately give in, reminiscing about school. Is it too soon for this? It hasn't even been a year since I started that school year. I want to bask in it.
Wow. Wow. Wow. So many mistakes. Lots of them. Why didn't I see it before? The crushing weight of these mistakes have finally been realized, it's mass finally concisely measured. The general apathy towards anyone made me a complete douche. Attempts at growth, towards acceptance, are betrayals made towards myself. Oh shit, I betrayed myself!!! That's fucking deep. But yeah, all that time, all those chances, pissed down my leg. When my friend slapped me, I should have apologized, not risen up against her. That was a mistake. I should have been more assertive in life itself. Maybe if I worked a little harder, I could've gotten that A in chem. I shouldn't have attempted... that... with her. That was an impulse, that day, the akward composure, the cracking of the voice, the fact that I never set a plan the next day. I'm retarded like that.
The bag now sits in the bottom of the trash can outside, festering in filth. None of the notes are kept, but that's because I don't need them. Throwing it in there, I expected something more besides a resounding thud. A sort of groan would have been more satisfying. Better yet, a crackling noise, as if I set kerosene and a match on it, to hear it melt away. No, fucking angels descending from the sky, singing the rapture. But no, just a thud, then the closing of the lid. Goodbye sophmore year.
I'm my own self-wrought tragedy. I don't want to fuck up junior year.
The Wand of Wonder
The Wand of Wonder is a place for people to express their views, post interesting and random stuff, and THE place to find out just how much of a j*ckass you can be. The only rules are:
Nothing pornographic or illegal.
All posts need to be cognizant, i.e. no complete gibberish.
As one of the admins of this blog, I wish to assure people that I could take down any defamatory posts, insults, jabs etc if requested by one of the members and approved by Malach.
Notice my restraint in NOT deleting and banning the Angry Veteran, even though he has accused my of criminal and perverted activities. I address these claims in my blog.
There is a reason for this. If you feel insulted, wronged or slandered by any post or comment made on this blog, feel free to contact Malach or I, but it will most likely stay up. We support free speech, even free speech from idiots who make potentially damaging claims about others.
So, take everything with a grain of salt and a few aspirin because unless it borders on being "Angry Veteranesque", we're leaving it up.
I've left his posts up to prove that point.
I am a gracious admin. You're welcome AV.
(waits for predictable comment)
(MALACH EDIT):
By the way, we are always looking for interesting people to become a WoW contributer. We don't care your age, disposition, political leanings, or coutry of origin (as long as you can read and write English, sorry were products of the American schools systems). The more unique the, the more different from the rest of us, cool. To join, send your e-mail address to myself or Dr. Murk we will send you an invite.
One last thing, GO RED SOX!
Man wins $400K for 10-year implant malfunction
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island (AP) -- A former handyman has won more than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection.
Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.
But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.
In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter.
"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."
A lawyer representing both Dura-II manufacturer Dacomed Corp. and the company's insurer declined to comment. Dacomed maintained that nothing was wrong with the implant.
The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection, D'Alessandro said.
Lennon cannot get the implant removed because of health problems, including open-heart surgery, his lawyer said. Impotence drugs could not help Lennon even if he were able to have the device taken out, because tissue had be to removed for it to be implanted.
Dacomed was later acquired by a California company whose sales dropped when Viagra was introduced on the market. The company filed for bankruptcy the following year.
------------------------------------------------My my god.
Dr. Murk's Closet
Do you ever wonder why you only ever see a picture of Dr. Murk from the neck up? Perhaps a recent post of his on the Angry Piper blog can shed some light:
"Dr. R. Murk said... 229 lbs myself. Now, I've been at it for 4 years and started at 255. By the end of the summer's hard labor I will be below the coveted 210. Psyched. "
Many people would be psyched, but, sadly, Dr. Murk is only four feet tall. 4'0" at 229 pounds creates the well known "apple" shape that leads men to avoid human contact and drink microbrews while they sit at their keyboards all day.
In an effort to join in normal social activities, Dr. Murk has finally started to wear a male girdle. The horrible pain caused by compressing that much body fat on his organs means that he can only go outside in this gear for a limited time each day.
I say bravo to Dr. Murk for showing this kind of courage. Good luck in not busting all the seams out.
87-1.
You Got to be Kidding Me
AP Associate Press - Tue Jun 20, 2006
The Old Homestead Steak House in Boca Raton, Fla. unveiled its pricey 20-ounce, $100 slab of ground beef, billed as the 'beluga caviar of hamburgers' Tuesday, June 20, 2006. The burger combines the most expensive of beef from the U.S., Japan and Argentina.
Happy Birthday
Happy 17th General!
And congrats to the engagment to that handsome friend on the right!
I am Malach and I am going to be the best man!
Canada takes Action.
CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) -- Seeking to crack down on sexual predators in the era of the Internet, Canada's government brought in legislation Thursday that would raise the legal age of consent for sex to 16 from an unusually young 14.
Justice Minister Vic Toews said changing the law will bring Canada's standards into line with those in several other countries, and he complained Canada's relatively low age of consent has attracted sexual criminals from more restrictive countries.
But the proposal, first outlined in April, will also allow youngsters to have consensual sex with people up to five years older or younger, even if that means one partner is aged 14 or 15.
"Our goal in this legislation is not to criminalize teenage youth who may be involved in sexual activity with their peers," Toews told reporters in Ottawa. "It is to make the law more effective in protecting vulnerable young people from adult sexual predators."
Consent standards vary around the world in terms of age, gender and sexual orientation. In most U.S. states, the age of sexual consent is at least 16 and in some cases -- Arizona is one example -- it is as old as 18.
Toews predicted that the move would find broad support among Canadians, with police forces across the country and with lawmakers from all political stripes.
However, some advocacy groups, including the Canadian Federation for Sexual Health, have already expressed concern about changing the law in this way.
The federation, formerly Planned Parenthood, has said there is no evidence that raising the age of consent will improve protection for young people, and warned it may discourage young people from seeking out birth control options or other assistance.
Toews introduced legislation in the House of Commons Thursday, the last day of proceedings before Parliament's summer break, so debate will start only after Parliament resumes on September 18.
-----------------------------------
Way to go canada. Although now Malach cant rape my cousin. Im sorry Malach.
Some Odds and Ends
Internet Celebrity.
I have been reading a bit about Internet Celebrity. Malach likens himself as a minor internet celebrity, but how does one gauge that? Easily more that a 1000 people know the name Malach the Merciless on the internet, though it is probably more. My site has had more than 80,000 unique visitors. "Malach" refering to me shows up 19th on a Google search out of 453,000 results (and considering MALACH is a kind of computer language, I think that is pretty good), "Malach the Merciless", I am the first 12 results at Google. I also have people recognize locally from my MySpace. In the past month or so, close to 20 people have come up to me at events, and alot of them still won't refer to me by my actual name.
What convinces me now most of all. Starting about a month ago I began to receive e-mails for products, services, clubs, etc. (addressed to Malach or Malach the Merciless) based on things I blogged the previous day or two days. For example, today I recieved 6 e-mails about fixing my Internet Connection. I don't know, what do you think.
WoW Cleanup.
I am in total agreement with Murk on this post. I would like to add a comment to this. Profanity. While I personally have no problem with profanity, I actually don't use it much. A request. Can we please limit the profanity that shows up on the main page. I ask this for the following reasons:
1. This site might get classified in a classification that might limit it getting seen
2. Keep it off of censorship softwares lists.
The comments are no big deal, they don't really register (kind of like forum comments) with spiders. I am not say never swear, but don't use it for no particular reason. The other thing I am trying to fix. We get a ton of posts, I have set the blog to show 14 days worth of posts, and that seems to have helped keep the conversation on track, I am going to look into a better way possibly to do this.
Comcastic!
As of this second my Internet Connection seems to be fixed. There were some Comcast trucks in the area this morn. Good, I did not want have to replace anything.
Interesting and Powerful site.
Malach stumbled upon this site today, sorry if you have already seen it. (WARNING GRAPHIC AND VIOLENT IMAGES) Without Sancutary.org. James Allen, a collector stumble upon photos and postcards taken of lynchings that occured throughout America. All the images are there. It is pretty graphic and disturbing, especially since it seems these were popular types of postcards to send in 1900s - 1940s. The comments written on them . . . it shows a different time in this country and is something everyone should see once.
I am Malach, and I have a strong mind.
Reminder
The Wand of Wonder is a blog that is dedicated to randomness. There are many contributers and many opinions. Even those who post here don't always agree. At least one of them doesn't ever seem to agree with anybody.
It's okay to disagree. It's okay to rant. It's even okay to advertise your own pet projects or sites. The only rules are: no pornography and please tread lightly on the nonsense. A little nonsense is okay, but if you think
hfhsfuehh&^nu7hJGBiuyghgiyugigguyguy
guy87Y*&ggUIG*&GgvuyGUYUtg*&gyGuyo
but i tried to fuf fu fu fuuuuuugit!
is extremely hillarious and relevant, it's not. Make sense damn you!
So, to those readers and team members who are disatisfied with what seems to be happening here, you have 2 choices.
1. Post a topic you think is relevant.
2. Go somewhere else.
And if you bash the premise of the blog itself, you're missing the point. There IS no premise. It's a wand of F*CKING WONDER!!!! No one knows what will come out of it next. Stay tuned.
Oh, and let's not forget that quite a few of us are internet 'personalities' that play rough. If you take anything too seriously here, eventually, you will get hurt. Just play along with the flamers and trolls and enjoy.
Bye?
<3
No really, there isn't a central theme to any of these posts. I mean, I have no qualms to the disjointed style, but after seeing the search engine hits Malach posted, what kind of person is so devoid of a life that they stumble upon WoW? Imagine, a dimly lit room, a thirty year old high school graduate. Depraved and alone, he spends his nights with his face inches away from the screen, deluding himself that he's making the most out of life. He somehow finds WoW, and that is how a fan is born. Unless, it is viewed merely by the various friends or acquaintances we whore this out to. This ruins the validity of the site though. I believe it's composed of:
angry ranting
random crap
humourous banter
Which is why I suggest an increase in angry ranting. Think about it. The easiest way to attract a convergent of people is to find a common dislike, and proceed to shovel heaps of scorn upon it! Or, find a hot topic, and appeal to the partisans of one side. Watch as I increase count tenfold.
George Bush sucks. Abortion is WRONG.
Hah! That's all people want from a blog nowadays; cynical attacks at people, the practice of mudslinging. It's out of control. People assimilate these opinions, instead of developing their own. And this is because others spit in their face, call them wrong.
Example: I LOVE George Bush. Fact? Fiction? Who knows, I want to see the diatribes launched at me.
The Orgin of Choas
It started a yahoo account 5 years ago and I mispelled Chaos. It just stuck, and when I meet someone on the net I don't know they go "you spelled your name wrong." I spell it like that on purpose. Then I start cussing them out by calling a unsenistive fuckface or something else like that. Choas_Dragoon is kinda of my alias. Always has been, always will be. And I also here not as often, but I still hear about the Dragoon part of my "Alias". They say "It's spelled dragon, you idiot noob" Well, guess what? Your a fucking idiot. Dragoon is a human with dragon-like powers. So, this is a name I use with everything. Everyone knows that. I will die before I call it Chaos Dragon.
And Malach, if you can throw this in a bit as a topic in your next podcast, please, go ahead.
Lezbonics ~ Jokes for Hump Day
1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?... A licker cabinet.
2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?... A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?... Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?... Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?... Fur Traders.
6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called ?... A Lickalotapuss.
7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?... Well Hung.
8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?... She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?... Even the pool table doesn't have balls.
10. What do you call lesbian twins?... Lick-a-likes.
11. What's the definition of confusion?... Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?... One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.
Who Reads WoW?
Well, according to the Key Phrases to find the site, People who can't spell, check it out.
Malach is a Statzi, and likes lists. Here is a list of keyphrase that have hit this site since it opened:
www.base.google.com
radio show
www.blogsearch.google.com
mind games cjr
young avengers
www.search.msn.co.in
beat your ass
www.search.msn.com
white boy dancing
stang bangers
deb chamberlin rockford michigan
mahabharatha for kids
persuasive development disorder
pope benedict i pod
will the world end on 6/6/6
wow enemy communication
www.third grade fractions
6/6/06 predictions
12/21/2012 bible code
6-6-06 predictions
abandoned train
annie stanton predicts
black people in the holocuast
boat cleaning wand
c-span stephen colbert
casualities at normandy
cool job wand
deb chamberlin michigan fall
diaz dragoon napoleon
don wand
end of the world 6/6/6
end of the world anti christ rapture 6-6-06
end of the world in 2006
end of the world june 6th 2006
end of the world on june 6
end of world 6-6-06 with the prediction of 911
end of world 6-6-6
extending wand
fastfood bangers
flight 77
gay marrage is wrong
girl club sex
girl fight
girl fight club
grand canyon deb chamberlin
how to make a wand to fight with
inventions for the future
inventions of the future
is the world coming to erupt end shortly
john dutchman claims astronomer
joseph stalin wow factor
knucklehead's fall river ma
michael drosnin the bible code ii on iran
myspace demons devil
myspace girlfight
myspace/girl fight
pdd sindrom
plane that hit the pentigon
predictions 06/06/06 end of world
robber gifs
rubbersuit studios
sesshomaru pictures
snopes don't flash headlights
snopes headlights
spelling of choas
stool sample webcomics
stupid rednecks
the world will end in 6/6/6
third option video
thought for the day hobbs
vampires and werewolves
vampires vs werewolves
wand of wonder
werewolves and vampires
what the catholic church predicts about the date 6-6-06
wiccan holocuast
woman dies yellowstone june 2006
wonder wand
yellowstone mother death 52 june2006
www.search.msn.com.my
bible code 6-6-06 end of days
www.search.msn.de
nude teenagers
www.search.ninemsn.com.au
vampires suck blood
www.search.sympatico.msn.com
gordon scallion interprets the three days of darkness
friday joke
vampires sucking cock
wackamole games
white boy dancing
www.search.yahoo.com
i am the juggerknot bitch
dr. adam weishaupt george washington
network option
real media podcasts
sesshomaru dad interview
story of the mahabharatha
www.google.ca
cnn article alphabet of manliness
llama song
wand of wonder effects
www.google.co.hu
murk - time mp3
www.google.co.in
how to cure document complite thread
www.google.co.uk
cybermen vs wolves
dopey gifs
myspace llama song
llama song for myspace
pope benedict xvi interview podcast
sky news.com podcasts
the llama song on myspace
tidus and yuna
wonder wand review radio
www.google.com
myspace socialization
quotes by kruchev
wand wow
3rd option
alphabet of manliness cnn ap
ann coulter drink alchohol booze
ap cnn alphabet manliness
ap cnn alphabet of manliness
be our guest synonyms
best wand wow
bush love's mexicans
d12s proof wikipeda
dnd wand of wonder percentage table
how to kill yu yevon
innoculations for babies
jaime allen producer
kyle colnot biography
lance corporal michael ford
let's burn this mutha fucka down!
llama song for myspace
llama song myspace html
maddox alphabet of manliness cnn ap
michael bouthot
michael bouthot fall river
modern egyptian religion
murk and malach
myspace annoying bulletins
scott hurst abington ma
spanish phrase translation fight the power
star wars radio play rm format
third option radio
tidus and yuna
viva cuervo
wand is not working wow
wand of rainstorms
wand of wonder examples
wearing o the green mp3
what is the name of massachutts state gem
wow and weapons master and wand
yankees i'm a nature lover t-shirt
www.google.com.au
tidus tells yuna he loves her
when are tidus and yuna in the spring
www.google.com.ph
tidus and yuna the movie
www.google.com.pk
use cruncy in afghanistan
www.google.de
eighth wonder port piper
www.google.fi
podcasting real media
www.google.nl
third option music
Summary:
People who visit WoW are general conspiracy loving peverts nerds who can't spell.
I am Malach and I think inside every cowboy is a lady waiting to get out.
Guess who join the party
That's right folks, LinkMaster™ is in the house. I had been posting comments on WoW as of late. Some of you may already know me. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out my favorite video game. But my internet name has become my second identity. I'm mostly well known on the forums, especially at CZC & TCG. What I like most about WoW is the comical topics & posts. Now I know this place is nothing like the forums that I come from. But I'll be sure to keep what WoW is best known for. Which I still don't know what that is...
A big thanks to Malach for brining me here, & Murk for the invite. Now you all know who to blame.
Oh no!!!
The rise of summer films has arrived! Superman, Pirates, Cars, Click, Clerks II!!! Which will be good, which will be bad!??!?! Will we take our sweet ass time to review some of them?!?! Stay tuned, same WOW time same WOW station....or in this case website........TO BE CONTINUED!
Today's random history
The right's contention that we are a "Christian nation" that has fallen from pure origins and can achieve redemption by some kind of return to Christian values is based on wishful thinking, not convincing historical argument. Writing to the Hebrew Congregation in Newport, Rhode Island, in 1790, George Washington assured his Jewish countrymen that the American government "gives to bigotry no sanction." In a treaty with the Muslim nation of Tripoli initiated by Washington, completed by John Adams, and ratified by the Senate in 1797, we declared "the Government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. ... " The Founders also knew the nation would grow ever more diverse; in Virginia, Thomas Jefferson's bill for religious freedom was "meant to comprehend, within the mantle of its protection, the Jew and the Gentile, the Christian and the Mahometan, the Hindoo and infidel of every denomination." And thank Godor, if you choose, thank the Founders that it did indeed.
Congratulations Episcopalians!
It has been quite a week for the Episcopal Church, and I would like to extend my heartfelt congratuations to a Church that is actually treating people the way I think Christ would treat people.
One, the election of a woman as the leader of the Episcopal Church (EC). The "Stain Glass Ceiling" has been shattered by the EC. While other denominations still openly discriminate against women and forbid them from being ordained, the EC have gone from allowing female priests, to Bishops, and now the ultimate leadership - Primate. Congratulations on treating men and women equally and on showing progressive leadership in the religious world.
Two, the refusal of the Episcopal Church to adopt a policy banning gay Bishops. Once again, the EC follow a principle of treating each other as equals, as human beings, and not as objects of scorn and discrimination. Allowing gay and lesbian members of your Church to assume positions of leadership is a truly enlightened position in this time and place.
Good work, and I mean Jesus level good work.
Hey pal, watch where you point that thing
Speaking of San Francisco real estate, let me introduce you to the Taepodong-2 (TD-2) missile.
"If we can develop this we have nothing to fear. Even the American Bastards won't be able to bother us. Whether we live or die, we must quickly develop the Hwasong 6."
- Kim Jong Il, circa 1987
The TD-2 has also been called "No-Dong", "Hwasong", and "Moksong." The actual range and payload of the TD-2 is in dispute because outside experts cannot agree whether the missile is a two stage or three stage Inter Continental Ballistic Missile (ICBM).
It is generally agreed, however, that this missile, if operational, puts the continental U.S. within range of a North Korean nuclear strike.
Why is it so important for North Korea to develop this capability? Because of the lesson the U.S. has just taught the world by invading a non-threat like Iraq but not disturbing an actual threat like North Korea: if you want to be safe from a U.S. invasion, have a nuclear weapon.
The TD-2 is North Korea's insurance policy against a U.S. invasion. We can look forward to many other countries learning this lesson and developing nuclear programs and delivery systems of their own.
Good work, neocons.
Help is needed my WoW brothers and sisters!
Help Angry Veteran, your my only hope.
Julia Wertz, creator of one of Malach's favorite webcomics, Fart Party will be having housing issues come next week. If they lived Malach Standard Time, I would have a place for them, but they don't.
Can some give some help to these eccentric funny little vagabonds? They seem like they would make fun roomates.
You could always exploit their talent for rent (that's what Malach would do). So you Left Coasters, especially those in 49er territory, open your hearts, your wallets, and your fridges. God will give you a free pass.
I am Malach and I did a good deed today.
You know what I love about Dr. Murk?
Not only does he make being a dick a science, but he has this amazing way of using it to say something very good and kindhearted. And he knows when to rip you a new one in the name of the Greater Good.
So, Murk, I salute you, and I put forth an apology for my unkindly titled post.
I was simply trying to be a little witty while reporting some very unpleasant news. Mainly, making fun of an idiot for causing the deaths of innocents. (Murk, if you take a look, as the title seemed to be in question, I said that those people are stupid like a pyrotechnics guy working for Great White. Get it?).
But, I admit, this was a poor title. The act of being religious I find far from stupid. Yes, I dislike organized religions, especially the catholic church. But it is the hierarchy and human imposed rules that I dislike. The beliefs and spirituality I am in strong support of.
Hobbs here is a dichotomy. You see, I want what is best for all of us. I love all people. Yet, at the same time, people are horrible and obnoxious, and they piss me off. This is very difficult to reconcile.
What I believe in is peace, harmony, the Greater Good. I want this for all of us. Yet every day I come across people that I want removed from the earth. I know they just aren’t there yet, they need to evolve, learn, grow. It is difficult to find the patience to give them the love that they need, and not throw the back of my hand to them.
So, Murk, you tell me. (by the way, regarding the Mayan Calendar, it is not the belief that we will all be wiped from the face of the world. It is the belief that the age of peace and enlightenment will arrive. Pay attention!)
Just put it down
Dosen't even look real, does it? That's how ugly it is. How old is this thing, 70? In human years? He has hair on his ears. He's a wrinkled turd with white eyes.
Excuse me, you guys down here hear about the ongoing cholesterol problem in the country?
The New KFC Famous Bowls.
How many people have to die. Have you seen this heart stopping monstrosity of a meal? Talk about Heart Attack in a Bowl. What is KFC thinking? This thing . . . this evil thing includes a bowl of Mashed Potatoes with gravy , topped with corn, Popcorn Chicken, topped with a four cheese blend. Using the Mr. Sanders own nutritional calculator reveals that a normal side of Popcorn Chicken and Mash with gravy adds up to 510 calories and 26 grams of fat with 60 grams of cholesterol. This does not included the layer of buttery corn, or 4 cheese blend. Nor does it include any drink or desert. Holy Shiva!
This I suppose is promulagating lawsuits like this . . . and never mind the animal cruelty campaigns by PETA. Fuggin' PETA should be focusing on the torture and human cruelty perpetrated by KFC, or stop people from masturbating.
Man, I feel ill just thinking about eating this crap. I can feel it just sitting in my stomach, like a lead brick. KFC, Killing Fans Cholestorally.
I am Malach I need a bucket.
Yellowstone Death
Sunday, June 18, 2006; Posted: 10:49 p.m. EDT (02:49 GMT)
YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, Wyoming (AP) -- A woman lost her footing after stepping over a retaining wall to take a photograph and went over a cliff, falling 500 feet to her death in a canyon, Yellowstone National Park officials said.
The 52-year-old woman was visiting the park with her husband and two children.
Her husband flagged down a passing motorist, who called 911 after the Saturday morning accident at an overlook along the Yellowstone River, park officials said.
A ranger rappelled down the canyon wall to reach the woman, but she was dead at the scene.
In Michigan, The Grand Rapids Press on Sunday identified the woman as Deb Chamberlin, 52, of Rockford, vice president of the school board in the west Michigan community.
"It's hard for me to articulate right now because I'm still in shock," said Rockford Superintendent Mike Shibler, who said he spoke to Chamberlin's husband, Gary.
It was the second fatal accident in Yellowstone this year. In February, a woman was killed in a snowmobile accident.
------------------------------------
| QUOTE |
| After stepping over a retaining wall |
There is a point for those. Stupid Bitch.
Usually a retaining wall means "hey stupid ass, dont step over me". Just One foot wont make it a million dollar photo.
A Response
This is in response to the post by Hobbs, entitled "Religious People Are Dumb As..."
Dumb as what? And what makes them dumb? Because one of them lit a candle near crepe paper? Yeah, that's a bit stupid I agree, but what does that have to do with the fact that they are/were religious?
Tons of idiots start fires every day by being stupid. There are idiots in every organization. Religious organizations do not hold a monopoly on that. In fact, this is your inner brat rebelling against spiritual authority, isn't it?
The fact that you read an article about four people dying and immediately blamed the obvious stupidity on one of their part on religion says more about you than it does about them.
This is the problem people. Most of you who read the WoW are 'outside of the box' thinkers who dislike traditional religions, people who have a moral agenda, wars, the republican party and anything else that doesn't fit your stereotypical liberal sensibilities. Fine. You're entitiled to dislike, disagree, even mock. But do yourselves a favor...
Quit trampling on the dead and making broad, sweeping statements about people you have never attempted to get to know. Open your minds people and see the terrible truth:
The answers you are all looking for can't be found through political parties, alt religions, video games or even your own coolness. Real answers take level headed examination of the facts and open cooperation with everyone you can call to you for help.
So, leave the poor dead people alone and remember... there's someone out there who finds you just as stupid and annoying as you find other people. Don't rush to judge them. Go get to know them.
Did you know anyone at the St. John's Club, Hobbs?
No?
Then how do you know that they were idiots?
Because they lit candles near crepe paper? This club has been active for quite some time... longer than most of you have been alive. Perhaps this was a one time act of stupidity by one person?
But how would any of us know that if we weren't there?
Oh right... Hobbs is the supreme oracle. I forgot. The guy who is hoping that the Mayan Calendar proves right and we'll all be gone by 2012. Hmmmmm... Maybe religious people are stupid.
How Many Kittens Have you Killed?
YOU BASTARD!
I am Malach and I have killed thousands if not millions of kittens. Just doing my part to keep the cat population down there Bob Barker.
What Is Love? (No not that damned Haddaway Song)
So what is love? Most teens mistake lust for love. Always going after the cutest girl, the most popular guy only to go out with them for three weeks and then move on. Not many relationships that teenagers make last very long. Sure you are now in the "friend" status but that doesn't help you cause. Do teenagers even have the maturity to actual have a relationship that last at least a year if not more? Or, do our libidos take over and we go after a piece of meat that we see cute at the time? Some say they do love someone and will marry them. Bullshit. How many couples in high school's actual marry, not many. How many end up with an unplanned pregnancy...too many. It's lust, not love what us teenagers feel. Sure we may have some feelings for someone, but that will pass. Unless you're some creepy stalker person who visits the guy/girl twenty or so years after graduation to tell how you feel. Maybe we can end up shaking with a college sweetheart, but not a high school sweetheart. That's what massive amounts of self loving is for, for all you sickos out there in internet land. What brought this on? Massive amounts of boredom during the first week of summer break and a mix of listening to ELO for two hours.
If I could be a were-animal..............
I would be a were-shark. Think of it!!! My Head would mutate to a shark head, I could breath under water, I could swim several times faster than any human, And I would be incredibly scary looking. My weaknesses would be nets made of gold and harpoons made of shark teeth.
Nerd Deja Vu.
Angry Piper this is your life
(Dude I still have this version)
And lest any of you doofuses forget . . .
I am Malach, King of the RPG Nerds.
And Now a Word from our Sponsor!
It is here.
After a longer than usual wait, the latest episode of The Murk and Malach Radio Show Podcast is up. Available in both MP3 and Real Media Formats. In this episode Murk and Malach ruminate on various topics, answer some fan(?) mail and interview a the star of a new "controversial" film The DaVinci Code. This one has everything... except any relevant topics or decency. Yeah, a complete lack of decency even by Murk and Malach standards.
Download the puppy, and listen while you work and do your other shiite! So enjoy!
I am Malach and the internet killed the video star.
Time Capsule
Say we all got togeather and we made a Time Capsule. What 3 times would you put in?
I would put a SNES, A copy of Chrono Trigger, and a DVD of me owing Lavos.
See what you WoW Bastards Did!
Murk and Malach in '08.
As you can see, by this post in Murk's World, and this Post in DMDSS, Murk and Malach will be running for President of the US in 2008. More information to come.
And.
Religious people are as dumb as...
....a special effects person working for Great White. Come on, people! Don't use pyrotechnics in a small club, and don't light candles near crepe paper!
FALL RIVER, Mass. - A deadly fire that scorched a community center during a prayer service started when candles ignited crepe paper decorations set up for a weekend festival, fire officials said Thursday.
People in the hall tried to extinguish the flames themselves before calling for help late Wednesday, Fire Chief David Thiboutot said.
Four people were killed and at least a dozen were injured.
The flames broke out as members of the Our Lady of Light Society were praying in preparation for a Portuguese religious festival this weekend in this coastal city, which has an active, deep-rooted Portuguese community.
Thirty people were in the three-story building when someone lighting candles dropped a lit taper onto a decorated shrine in the ground-floor community hall, Deputy Fire Chief William Silvia said.
[Random Teenage Crap]
Blame it on the hormones, the excitement, the crushing joy that summer is here. Please let me regress, let me expose my atavisms. Let me shed the eloquence as I make this post. Let me be as moronic as I want to be as I say:
OMG LOLZ OH MY GOD!!! SCHOOL GETS OUT TOMORROW FINALLY
Okay, moment done. Let me have that. But yeah, it's going to be awesome! I've gotten through my finals without that much trouble. Of course, tomorrow's my hardest ones; Spanish final, followed by an AP Powerpoint. I am reporting upon blood diamonds, but I have no actual knowledge of it; my partner and I, being the exemplerary students that we are, have started today and worked upon it for three straight hours of shuffling for notes, webaddresses, and other frenzied scribbles we needed for reference. But we got it done, and it's looking pretty good. =)
Summer's going to kick ASS. Especially since I've finally stopped giving a shit about some dumb forum. ^_^
Hump Day Top Ten!
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your Doctor's office include, "Take a left When you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "An apple a day."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network Charges," is not a typographical error.
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on Them.
And the Number One Sign You've Joined a Very Cheap Health Care Plan:
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct tape.
The Seven Dwarfs
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."
In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare. Dopey turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"
"I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, as they begin chanting......
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"......
"Dopey screwed a penguin!"......
If I were the leader of the free world.
The POWER!
As many of you know, I have a very popular thread at a forum called Dear Malach (enjoy reading, it's 1076 pages long). Many times, I answer silly or comedic questions, at times advice, and other times, people ask me my opinion on thangs. Today, I got a very interesting question, and decided to repost it, and the answer here, a bit more expanded. I am figure this should encourage some lively debate. Thanks to LinkMaster for the question (BTW link, you want to join WoW?).
- The War of Terror: I would immediatly petition the UN and NATO for help, apologize for the actions of the previous administration, begin to rebuild our relationships with those countries and then get the UN and NATO involved in Iraq. With these two organizations I would develop a plan where the US, NATO, Iraq, and the UN, now become the rebuilding and democratization force in the Iraq, in a united front. The goal would be to stop spending US money in that money pit, in turn, begin repay our debt to the UN. The money saved from leaving Iraq, would be focused back into the US, and the next points. I would also strengthen NATO, by adding Isreal, Egypt, and Saudi Arabia, giving NATO and interesting twist. NATO would be a united force against terrorism, and the NATO agreement (essentially you attack on NATO country, you attack them all) would be developed for terrorist attacks. Then I would attempt to forge a UN/NATO plan to deal with terrorism, including China and Russia. A united world front of mutual protection against organizations like al-Quaida and Hezzbolah, and state like Iran would go a long way to limiting terrorist activites. I would also try to develop some type of working relationship with OPEC, and involve them in the Middle East peace process.
- Universal Health Care: Modelled on the Canadian plan. Every American would have health care, and the federal government would regulate costs by having insurances, drug companies, and healthcare providers bid on contracts. As for the cost, this would be partly off set by the money spent in Iraq, and offset by destroying programs like free care, and things like frivolous lawsuits. Even if I had to raise taxes, I am sure no one will mind for free health care. This will benefit both the individual citizens and business.
- Alternative Sources of Energy: Funding would be provided to find and develop alternative forms of cheap essentially unlimited and safe energy within a goal of 5 years.
- Scientific Research: Monies would be poured into genetic and stem cell research, with the goal of wiping out things like cancer, HIV/AIDS, and long term disability conditions (further alieviating heath care).
- Africa: Unlike the Middle East, Africa is not beyond democratization. Africa sits on tons of untapped resources. The US, inconjuction with the UN, would encourage and support democratic movements in these countries.
- China, India, Pakistan, Russia: Work with and invest in these coutries as they democratize. Work out better trade agreements. The US has a huge leg to stand on. Most of the trade in grains comes out of the US, which produces enough grain in a year to feed the world.
- Revamp the outdated drug laws in this country: Prisons and courts are overloaded with small time drug pushers. There needs to be a focus on rehabilatative methods as opposed to punisment.
- Revamp the Eduction Systems in this Country: They need to be designed much like European public schooling is, and all public education should be free.
- Immigration: Since it seems the main problem is with Latin America, I would set a date. Up to this date, anyone crossing the broder, as long as they can get past the minefields, the machine guns, and the hell hounds, become citizens. I would film the border and make a reality show of it. After that date, I would reduce Latin America to Nuclear slag, except for Panama.
I am Malach and I am still not old enough to run for president.
An untapped resource.
The Wikipedian Liberation Organization.
Use it, post what ever the hell you want, want some ideas? Troll the articles. Want a place to call you own? Do something like this. We even allow slander, libel, and insane philosophies and babbling.
I am Malach, M is for Magnificent, A is for Awesome, L is for Lickable, A is of ALL MIGHTY, C is for Crazy, and H is of Hung like a elephant!
Here we go again...
..Is everyone excited? That's right kiddies, its hurricane season again. And we're already starting strong! Who knows, maybe we can finally rid ourselves of Florida once and for all. Can you imagine Florida being the size of Rhode Island. No more hanging chads, and refugee issues. Its time to party! So, get your beer and popcorn and start watching the weather channel! Mother Nature is pissed, and she's aiming that pretty red eye on us!
I'm Hobbs, and I'm back, bitches!