Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson

Friday, July 28, 2006

Mel Gibson was arrested for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) at around 2:30 this morning on the Pacific Coast Highway in California. He was cited and released on a $5,000.00 bail. When the California Highway Patrol (CHP) officer approached his car, he noticed it was the famous actor and turned his radio on to capture the conversation. News outlets have acquired a tape and released a transcript. A portion is provided here to WoW readers as a public service.

CHP Officer Juan Hernandez-Cortez (JHC): Good morning Sir, would you please take off you sun glasses, roll down the window, and take your keys out of the ignition?

Mel Gibson (MG): *unintelligible through glass window*

JHC: Sir, please cut the engine and roll down your window.

MG: (screaming) If I turn the car off I can't roll down the window! (laughing) It's electric! (laughs)

JHC: Sir, please stop dancing in your seat, roll down the window, and shut your engine off.

MG: Are you Ponch or John!? (laughs) I love that show! I'm going to make a movie like that!

JHC: Sir, please step out of the car.

MG: Ohhhh boy boy boy boy ohhh, here we gooooo!!! (monkey noises)

JHC: Sir, sir...Mr. Gibson, sir...OK, ...OK,....please stand up; you cannot lay down in the street. Please stand up and walk with me off to the shoulder.

MG: *unintelligible Aramaic*

JHC: Sir, I'm going to need you to speak to me in English, not in Aramaic.

MG: Man, I need to take a piss. Can I take a piss? I have GOT to piss so bad right now.

JHC: Sir, you cannot urinate in public - Sir, SIR! No!

MG: (urinating) Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Whew! This feels so goood! I am so glad you had me pull over and take a piss. Oh my God. Man, it just keeps coming. Oh yeah. Whew.

JHC: Sir, please place your penis back in your pants and walk to the front of my patrol car.

MG: (screaming monkey noises)

JHC: Do you know why I pulled you over?

MG: To sign an autograph?

JHC: Becau..

MG: To watch me piss? You wanted to see me piss? (monkey noises)

JHC: OK sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would have waited to save him from a slow motion roll over accident. That's the only way people learn important life lessons.

Oh great, now Gibson gonna sue us too . .

But you know this theme song goes real well with the mental images

Truth is a complete defense to libel.

And I still don't here any music.

Toyi said...

lol liquor can do special things with people doesn't it?

The Angry Piper said...

sure can.

 
 
 
 
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