Or, Spacefarmer in the board room . . .
I am Malach and please tell your people to stop shooting.
Why I Love Home Movies
Monday, July 31, 2006
What do you think about this?
Crime rates in DC has gone out of hand and lots of the victims and perpetrators are teens, so look DC answer to this, they have created a Teen Curfew so, this is turning into controversy.
Time is not on my side . .
Another celebrity time has not been kind to.
Bridgitte Bardot. But at least she is like 30 years older than Metallica
I am Malach, and I assure you the Angry Piper would do her.
WoW CONTEST: Ask Richard Dreyfuss!
Ok, so tomorrow Richard Dreyfuss is coming to my office and I will get the chance to meet and spend some time with him. During that time, I plan on talking to him about Close Encounters, Jaws, What About Bob and more.
Here's what's in it for you:
If you could ask Richard Dreyfuss anything... and I do mean ANYTHING... what would you ask him?
If I like your question (and I have no ground rules or expectations) not only I will ask him and get you the answer, but I will tell him that YOU asked me to ask HIM. So, on some roundabout once-removed sort of way, you'll meet him too. Well, kind of. Not really. You get the idea though.
Are you in?
If so, post your question(s) in the comments section!
Eleven Lessons I learned from Robert S. McNamara
1. Empathize with your enemy.
2. Rationality will not save us.
3. There's something beyond one's self.
4. Maximize efficiency.
5. Proportionality should be a guideline in war.
6. Get the data.
7. Belief and seeing are both often wrong.
8. Be prepared to reexamine your reasoning.
9. In order to do good, you may have to engage in evil.
10. Never say never.
11. You can't change human nature.
Monday Morning
Looks like this guy got a little 'Tooserious' last night!
Number of falls: 5
Number of unintelligible sentences: 34
Number of people freaked out: 4
Number of wife grabbings: 1
Number of creepy massages given to Murk: 1
Number of people quite like Mr. Tooserious: ZERO
What happens when good community theater goes REALLY bad?
Are you ready to find out?
Then just click here.
Or here.
Enjoy!
Some Random Shiite
Holy Crap.
Did Metallica get elderly overnight or what? Check out the pic. Jesus almighty. Man these guys don't look good at all. I mean the Stones look better than them. And WTF is up with Lars Ulrich's hair?
Speaking of Metal and Metallica.
[adult swim] is debuting a new show called Death Clock Metalocalypse, Brendon Smalls new show (Home Movies Fame). [as] has been ultra secretive (nothing on their website) about it, and the best info I have found is a Wikipedia article, and a MySpace. The little I have seen it looks freakin' hilarious, and if Home Movies was any indication it will be. Check out the YouTube trailer which is also nuts and made me pee my pants.
It premiers this Sunday at 11:45PM. I can't wait. They preview I saw yesturday is the concert footage from "Do You Like Coffee", and they pour scalding coffee over the crowd, melting their flesh.
I am Malach . . . DO YOU LIKE COFFEE!!!!
A Request to be Disintegrated
I have absolutely no interest in this blog and don't know why I'm a member.
I also appear to have no rights to remove myself, so I must ask if you can remove me.
Thanks so much!
Uhm Interesting
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Have you ever red Ezekiel 1:00 the entire chapter? interesting about his description of what he saw, sounds to me like he is describing a spaceship or a plane cool, very cool!
How drunk was I on Friday night?
Well, when I woke up the next morning,I found this on the whiteboard in my kitchen.
(click on the image to see details)
(click on the image to see details)
An Interview With a Vampire... no... Mel Gibson
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Interview conducted by Dr. Robert J. Murk via Skype Chat feature:
Dr: Mel Gibson. How are you doing tonight? As opposed to last night?
Mel: Actually, it was morning. I was drunk, in jail and embarrassed. Tonight I'm sober, in deep shit and embarrassed. Looks like I was better off before. At least I was drunk.
Dr: You're Australian by birth.
Mel: Right.
Dr: Can we really be expected to hold being drunk against you seeing as how you're Australian by birth?
Mel: Nope. It's not my fault.
Dr; Were you so drunk you thought you were Austrian and not Australian?
Mel: Look, I only hate the Jews when I'm drunk or awake. Let's move on.
Dr: When was the last time you slept?
Mel: During the advanced screening of Lethal Weapon 3.
Dr: What about during The Man Without a Face?
Mel: I... got kicked out.
Dr: Why?
Mel: I kicked a baby on the way in.
Dr: Were you drunk?
Mel: I'm always drunk. And I was dressed as William Wallace.
Dr: But... Braveheart wasn't even written then.
Mel: Yeah, your a smart guy eh?
Dr: I am.
Mel: I wrote your life.
Dr: You're crazy.
Mel: And I play with doo doo for fun.
Dr: I am upset. I loved Braveheart. I loved you.
Mel: Three times in one night, if I remember right.
Dr: But this is too much. What has happened to you?
Mel: Jesus got a hold of me. He's still mad at the Jews and he makes me drink all day long.
Dr: This is pretty inflammatory.
Mel: My doctor said to take the antibiotics and the swelling would go away. He lied.
Dr: Do you have syphilis?
Mel: I'd like to think so. I screwed some pretty skanky trannies in Thailand.
Dr: You mean Detroit?
Mel: Yeah, Detroit. That's it.
Dr: Is it true you once tried to sex up a cabbage?
Mel: No. A Cabbage Patch doll.
Dr: That's hurting.
Mel: What? I signed those stupid adoption papers. It was mine. I can do that if it's mine.
Dr: I hope you don't have any pets.
Mel: Not live ones. Not anymore...
Dr: Mel, is it true that your entire career has been a series of phenomenal success followed by social faux pas and misery?
Mel: I... I like my mittens.
Dr: Let's cut right to the chase. No pun intended. Why, if you were drinking, did you even get behind the wheel of a car and go for a drive? Can't you just get drunk and hate ethnic groups without endangering lives by drinking and driving?
Mel: I could. But why? What would be the point? You know, I could bake a loaf of bread, take a dump on it and hire a male prostitute to eat it while I played the violin, but would that make me Charlie Chan?
Dr: You're drunk again, aren't you?
Mel: Yeah... but listen. It doesn't mean that I don't mean what I'm trying so hard not to say! You went kinda nuts in '76 and we all just smiled and figured it was the coke and the hookers, but we all forgave you.
Dr: I was two years old.
Mel: Yeah, and you're all grown up now. And ten times as sexy. Shame on you and your self righteous search for the truth. You think life is as simple as beating up on a guy when he's drunk and hating Jews, but life comes in three flavors, my friend. Chocolate, Strawberry and Vanilla. Just because no one wants to eat the vanilla doesn't mean I can't tell a bean from a brink, ya froogmanger!
Dr: You mixed the booze with pills, didn't you?
Mel: It was baby aspirin. St. Joseph's baby aspirin and Flintstone vitamins, you cockring!
Dr: I'm looking for a graceful way of getting out of this interview without you trying to kill me.
Mel: It's not possible. Just say bye and wait for the cold cold steel of my knife, asshole.
At this point, Dr. Robert J. Murk signed off, moved to another state and watched Braveheart for the last time. There are some who say he cried at the end.
So long, Mel. Thanks for ruining the one movie that made me feel like death might bring about redemption...
Murk.
Mel Gibson blames alcoholism for his Anti-Semitism
So, as the details of Mr. Gibson's behavior during his DUI arrest become public, his publicist has released this statement on his behalf: "After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the L.A. County sheriff's. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. "I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said. "Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. "I have battled the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health." Comment: What a load of shit. Please. Alcohol does not turn you into a raving anti-semite. Alcohol loosens your lips and you say things you shoudn't say. If you are a racist or a bigot, you'll say things you can normally keep to yourself. But the alcohol doesn't make you a racist or a bigot. Nice try. Another thing, nice attempt by your publicist to try to make you seem like the victim here. If you are an alcoholic, go to a meeting; don't get into a car and go monkey-shit crazy on the LASD deputy who has to pull you off the road. Assbag.
Mel Gibson DUI Police Report
Yesterday I had a little bit of fun with the Mel Gibson DUI arrest. I imagined that someone as powerful and famous as Mel Gibson would have to be acting pretty extreme to actually be arrested. I am sure that on a daily basis throughout our great land that the rich, powerful, and famous are given a wink and a nod for illegal behavior - if they are able to treat the officer with a modicum of polite behavior. I know I've been given a "warning" instead of a ticket just because I was honest, respectful, and contrite when talking to the officer. And hell, I'm not even a D-List internet celebrity.
So it was with no surprise that I read about the actual Los Angeles County Sherrif Department's (LASD) police report. You can read the full story here and you can try to read the mangled scanned version of the actual original police report here.
I'll wait while you read the story.
OK, great to have you back. Good read? I think Mel Gibson owes Deputy Mee an apology. I'd also like to say that the Sergeant, Lieutenant, and Captain who forced Deputy Mee to censor his original report need to grow a pair and wear the badge like it means something more than kowtowing to a movie star.
I certainly hope that all of the information provided by Deputy Mee, the DUI, the attempt to flee from custody, and the out of control verbal and physical behavior is presented to the Los Angeles County District Attorneys Office.
Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson
Friday, July 28, 2006
Mel Gibson was arrested for Driving Under the Influence (DUI) at around 2:30 this morning on the Pacific Coast Highway in California. He was cited and released on a $5,000.00 bail. When the California Highway Patrol (CHP) officer approached his car, he noticed it was the famous actor and turned his radio on to capture the conversation. News outlets have acquired a tape and released a transcript. A portion is provided here to WoW readers as a public service.
CHP Officer Juan Hernandez-Cortez (JHC): Good morning Sir, would you please take off you sun glasses, roll down the window, and take your keys out of the ignition?
Mel Gibson (MG): *unintelligible through glass window*
JHC: Sir, please cut the engine and roll down your window.
MG: (screaming) If I turn the car off I can't roll down the window! (laughing) It's electric! (laughs)
JHC: Sir, please stop dancing in your seat, roll down the window, and shut your engine off.
MG: Are you Ponch or John!? (laughs) I love that show! I'm going to make a movie like that!
JHC: Sir, please step out of the car.
MG: Ohhhh boy boy boy boy ohhh, here we gooooo!!! (monkey noises)
JHC: Sir, sir...Mr. Gibson, sir...OK, ...OK,....please stand up; you cannot lay down in the street. Please stand up and walk with me off to the shoulder.
MG: *unintelligible Aramaic*
JHC: Sir, I'm going to need you to speak to me in English, not in Aramaic.
MG: Man, I need to take a piss. Can I take a piss? I have GOT to piss so bad right now.
JHC: Sir, you cannot urinate in public - Sir, SIR! No!
MG: (urinating) Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Whew! This feels so goood! I am so glad you had me pull over and take a piss. Oh my God. Man, it just keeps coming. Oh yeah. Whew.
JHC: Sir, please place your penis back in your pants and walk to the front of my patrol car.
MG: (screaming monkey noises)
JHC: Do you know why I pulled you over?
MG: To sign an autograph?
JHC: Becau..
MG: To watch me piss? You wanted to see me piss? (monkey noises)
JHC: OK sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.
A plug
I cam across this really funny site: http://www.totse.com/
Ways to hack, steal, torture cats, whatever your into. It has ways to make bombs, dispose of bodies, ect. For educational purposes. Some of the stuff there is incredibly funny. Most of stuff is illegal though. Still worth a read.
Trump trumps all other Monsters. End of story.
I love this loud, green,purple horned
star tattooed
mother fucker.
Bazoo, The Soul Eater
This is the sweetest card art ever made. How can something as lame as yugioh spawn such a beautiful creture? Let's see why this thing kicks so much ass.
He's Fat. And I mean really fat. You know why he's fat? He eats SOULS!!!!!!!! He's eating one right now. And he has such a shiny, purple coat. And he has horns and gold hair. He's like a King of Baboons. And how does he get this souls you might ask? He rips them out from your kneecap. The more he eats, the more powerful he comes. Soon Bazoo will rule the world.................
Place your bets! Place your bets!
Do you think THIS will be deleted? I think so.
Why? Because Wikipedia is not ON BALLS.
Welcome to WoW.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Join me please in welcoming . .
KERNSIE!
I am Malach and I kissed a girl.
Malach's Top Ten Fictional Villains
Malach is at work and bored.
And when he is bored he thinks of stupid stuff like: What are my top ten favorite fictional characters of all time? Wow, that would make a good blog! But how do I make it more concise? Let see we could seperate them in to catagories . .
So here you go, Malach top ten favorite fictional villains of all time (in no particular order)
Him
The Powerpuff Girls have interesting villians. I considered putting Mojo Jojo on this list. But Him, beat him out. Beyond crossdressing, androgyneous, lucifer on acid, how does one describe Him? He is a mysterious, supremely powerful, effeminate devil like creature. He is perhaps the most powerful of the PPG's foes. He can control dreams, your psyche. He causes catastrophes. He is alwasy trying to break human kind mentally. He can change his shape to many a apocalyptic monsterous form. He is wicked, nasty, mean tempered, and a bit insane.
The Monarch
He is (at least in his mind) the primary antogonist of Dr. Venture in the show, The Venture Bros. He models himself after a Monarch Butterfly, and has a hot girlfriend, with a manly voice (Dr. Girlfriend). He is vain and portrays and insane bravado as he overestimates his own powers and hides his incompetence. He has had the opportunity on numerous occasions to significantly harm Dr. Venture, but when faced with the prospect of actually suceeding at one of his goals, he loses interest, preferring to live out an unending hero/villain fantasy than actually be victorious. His unquenchable fury at Venture has never been fully explained. He just get more angry and fixated on Venture as Venture is oblivious to him and percieves him as a minor nuisance.
His entire campaign vs. Venture is based upon buttflies. He rides around with his henchman in a giant floating cocoon, and his weaponry is modeled after the physical traits of a butterfly (some erroneously: case in point his wrist stingers). He remains in the dark about actual bilogy and physicality of butterflies believing them to be dangerous and poisonous creatures.
Darth Vader
Vader in fuggin' cool, even with the crap Lucas put him through in episodes 1 - 3 (NOOOOOOOOOOO!) . I remember being 6 years old and seeing Star Wars, the first time at the Theater in 1978. Vader walks in, the most breathtaking, evil, dark, scary, power, thing I have even seen. And the breathing. Man, he rocked. You wanted to hate him. He had all these cool powers, and the lightsaber . . He was mean, a war criminal, a mass murderer, a torturer, you weren't sure what he was. Man, alien Robot . . . and the plot twist in Empire.
Vader is arguable the number one villain of all time.
Saruman
Tolkein had villains of all kinds. Smaug, Sauron, Gollum, The RingWraith, Wormtongue. But of them all, I liked Saruman the best. Saruman is Judas, the betrayer. Not only a betrayer of good, but a betrayer of evil. He works with Sauron, to betray Sauron. He thinks of nothing but the power (in which he was always powerful). He is the foil to the goodness and patience of Gandalf. Those who have only seen the movie, might not have a complete understanding of who Saruman (and for that matter Gandalf) is. He is not man, nor elf, he is Istari, immortal, powerful almost god-like.
Saruman was always insterested in deep knowledge, and magic of power, hence his interest in the rings of power and palantiri. Beyond his range of normal Istari power, he had the power of the voice . . he could use his speech to convince people to do things, and say them under his power. He was also very knowledgable in machinery, chemistry, and cross breeding of different beings.
Unfortunately the film did not depcit Saruman's scourging of the Shire, where one could see his ture evil and insanity.
The Joker
Can't sleep clowns will eat me. The Joker, could perhaps knock Vader off the top spot. What's scarier, that a homicidal, sadistic, psycopathic, deformed clown with aspirations of causing as much pain and death and kills with fatal hilarity? Unlike many comic books villains, the Joker is gritty, psychological, and not afraid to go after his enemies where it hurts most? I mean how many Robins has he killed? For someone with super powers (most of the time), he is the perfect nemesis for Batman, who with the amount of personal pain he has caused Batman, I am surprised hasn't killed him.
Cartman 
Cartman is the asshole we all want to be. He is a obese, foul mouthed, racist, homophobic, anit-semetic 9 year old. He has a bigoted cunningness and manipulation, that no 9 year old should have. Generally speaking, he has exhibited at one time or another every negative trait that can be found in a human being, or expressed a desire to do so. Interestingly enough, Cartman does not seem to consider himself a bad person, but rather a superior human being.
Cartman is continually spoiled by his mom, and expects the same treatment with just about everyone he deals with. Cartman is also shown to have several mental illess, weird compulsion and sexuality indentity crisis. And he's funny.
Gaston
Ahh Gaston, my Favorite Disney Villian. What I like about Gaston is he is differnt from most Disney Villians. This can be best summed up in his them song.
LeFou:Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're ev'ryone's favorite guy
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
Lefou and Chorus:No one's been like Gaston
A king pin like Gaston
LeFou:No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
Gaston:As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!
Lefou and Chorus:My what a guy, that Gaston!
Give five "hurrahs!"Give twelve "hip-hips!"
LeFou:Gaston is the bestAnd the rest is all drips
Chorus:No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
LeFou:In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!
Bimbettes:For there's no one as burly and brawny
Gaston:As you see I've got biceps to spare
LeFou:Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
Gaston:That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair
Chorus:No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
LeFou:In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
Gaston:I'm espcially good at expectorating!
Ptoooie!
Chorus:Ten points for Gaston!
Gaston:When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
Chorus:Oh, ahhh, wow!
My what a guy, that Gaston!
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
LeFou:Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
Gaston:I use antlers in all of my decorating!
Chorus:My what a guy,
Gaston!
I love the delusion!
HAL - 9000
Ahh, what more fun that being trapped on a ship to Mars with a sentient, artificially intelligent super computer that experiences emotions, and is paranoid to the point it wants to kill you?
"David, what are you doing David?"
Kill your computers now! Hal is speaking to them.
Freddy Krueger
Horror movies have spawned some memorable villains. Leatherface, Micheal Myers, Jason Vorhees. All really cool. But Freddy . . . Freddy's got them all beat. You see, the rest, they were limted to who the could kill, by who came the them. Not Freddy. He only needed you to fall asleep, and kill you in your dreams (DON'T FALL ASLEEP!).
He is ugly, his faced burned up in undeath as he died. He also has perhaps one of the most menacing weapons . . . his clawed glove. One, two Freddy's coming for you . . .
Darkseid
Nothing like a all poweful god/alien to take on Superman. And how fuggin' scary is Omega Beam? Darkseid can basically be described as evil incarnate. Darkseid is not merely content to control but to dominate those individuals under him into totally obedient and morally corrupt caricatures of individuals. Darkseid always maintains cool control, and he has a strange sense of personal honor.
Basically Darkseid wants to wipe out free will and recreate the Universe in an image he sees fit. How cool is that.
All Heil Darkseid!
Is there any connection here? Leave it in the comments.
I am Malach am I a villain?
A couple of really fucked up emails.
OK, these emails just came into my Inbox from a classified source. Enjoy:
From: NAME AND ADDRESS REMOVED
Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 10:04 AM
To: Captain Flak Paperpants
Subject: BIG Date
Sometimes after my first BIG COFFEE and can of duster in the morning, I like to wrap myself up in a false blanket of personal grandeur and think of myself as a true ladies man. It’s just a way of keeping on my toes in case some woman is actually thinking about bedding down with me for the night. So, how does the Dr. J prepare for a big date? First things first; I am very superstitious, so I must have a hearty breakfast of BIG COFFEE and Ka-Boom brand cereal. Then I take a shit, for lack of being able to hold in all the caffeine and fiber. I will wipe my mud butt and then instinctively smell all my fingers just to make sure I didn’t drag one of my fingernails through my shit-stained ass while wiping. I will only wash my hands afterward if did indeed cake the underside of my nail with dookie, or if I get the feeling someone I encounter today will ask to smell my hands for some reason. I’m so nervous for this date tonight I will decide to skip work and hide in some stranger’s crawl space. I will remain there until 5:00 when I hear the Schotz Brewery whistle blow. I then get in my car and head home, while driving 80+ mph, listening to Paul Anka, and rubbing the exterior of my prostate gland. Just for good measure, I’ll smell my finger again, as you can never be too sure if the dude at the toll booth will ask to smell my hand. What’s with these fucking weirdos? Smell your own hand bitches, that’s why the animal gods gave you 2 of them. After getting home, I will apply Lectric Shave to my entire body and commence with the hair removal. Everything goes, except the tuft of hair above my man-meat, in the shape of a Scottish Claymore. By this point I’m so infatuated and aroused with the look of my smooth, glistening body I end up masturbating over and over again until I pass out and don’t wake up until the next morning. I must admit, I really haven’t had a date in 3 years, but I was embarrassed you would think I’m a putz and unable to get laid. Want to smell my finger?
From: NAME AND ADDRESS REMOVED
Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 9:48 AM
To: Captain Flak Paperpants
Subject: BIG time.
Importance: High
I do have an incredibly busy day ahead me; nevertheless I must recess from my work load to tell you about something that has been bothering me for a long time. I’ll cut right to the chase. You are guilty of it, as well as every other soul I seem to meet in this world. I’m talking about everyone’s unwarranted criticism of………………BIG COFFEE. Everyone should know by now I have an open, giving relationship with my BIG COFFEE. However, what most are ignorant to is I also have several meaningful friendships with BIG COFFEES belonging to other folks. Of course, I am somewhat partial to my BIG COFFEE, but I will oftentimes go out of my way when I see someone holding a BIG COFFEE I’ve never seen downtown before to say, “Hey BIG COFFEE, welcome to Naptown. Haven’t we met before; possibly at the Mitch Daniels roasting a few years ago?” I keep this upbeat relationship with other BIG COFFEES even if I’m not so fond of the person holding said, BIG COFFEE (usually because they are not the same color as I and personally don’t believe other races are responsible enough to care for a BIG COFFEE, given their track records at raising their own kids). Personal differences with BIG COFFEE handlers aside, I just have to set the record straight about not only my BIG COFFEE but the BIG COFFEES of others as well.
What BIG COFFEE is not: a way to gain acceptance from your parents for being a rump wrangler. the answer to David Hasselhoff’s prayers. a small coffee (and never will be, no matter how much you belittle it). the worthy scapegoat of all that crappy stuff going on over there in Iroc (I still can’t believe they named a country after my dream car) with them there crazy sand people (but it is capable of depressing the ‘launch’ button on a surface-to-air nuclear device).
What BIG COFFEE is: the perfect compliment to a bagel smeared with Nutella. something to keep my left hand warm in the winter with the snow coming down, while my right hand is jerking me off to the beat of Phil Collins’ Against All Odds. something you should ever look at the wrong way because it will instinctively launch itself out of my hand and explode all over your face. the holder of fabulous jewels and treasures long-thought forgotten.
The time has come to set the record straight before I die of Scoliosis.
Will the Big Dig Tunnel Curse be reversed? I DOUBT IT.
The Massachusetts Turnpike Authority chairman, under fire since 12 tons of falling ceiling panels killed a motorist in a Big Dig highway tunnel, agreed Thursday to resign after weeks of pressure from the governor.
Matthew Amorello's resignation will be effective August 15, but he will continue to receive his $223,000 annual salary through February 15.
Amorello was quoted as saying "fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, YOU'RE COOL, fuck you, I'M OUT!"
A Quick Do It Yourself Project
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I recently redid my bathroom. I figured some of you aspiring home improvers would like a little tutorial on fixing up a bathroom, so here it is:
First, remove unnecessary crap like the ugly sink and scrape some crap off the wall and fix some of the wall with that stuff.
Then, throw a garbage bag on the pipes and paint the wall.
Next, put in a new sink. This will replace the old sh*tty sink you took out. Put up a towel rack and one of those things that go ever the plug. Put in some baseboards too.
Last, hang a mirror and put some more crap in, like a rug and some table from Pier One that someone gave you. Put some crap on that too.
VOILA!!!
See how easy it is to do the work yourself? And I saved like $50,000 by doing it all by myself and with no help from Mrs. Dr. Murk, who's only comment was "Well, there's a bunch of drips on that part of the baseboard."
Nice. Nice honey. Real f*cking nice...
New WoW Theme Song
Dancing In The Show Tonight - Ween
Let see who long before this one drives Dr. Murks nuts.
I am Malach and I am dancing in the show tonight.
Cap'n Crap
Billy Connolly is laughing at you.
...and you can't do afucking thing about it.
HAHAHAHA! Stapled tie + wake up!!! That's a good one.
(IDK what happened to this post, but there was no image nor HTML in the post)
This just in from C.O.N.D.I.
"Oh, lordy, lordy, it is so hot in here!" Pokia? I hardly knowiya.
HOORAY!
The day has finally come! My Pokia has arrived.
You... you... don't have a Pokia? Wow.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Ok, here is my Pokia attached to my LG F7200 GSM Cingular Mobile Communications Unit.
This is me using my new Pokia and acting very serious: (actually, I was pretending to call The President.)
This is my desktop image on the phone itself: (which, by the way, has a classic old phone bell ringer sound as the ringtone.)
You need to be ON BALLS.
Seriously.
Get with the program.
This made me smile.
Listen to this.
I LOVE IT!
"It was to a point, where I actually had an appendix rupture because of telemarketing calls."
HEY! MALICKMYBALLS!
I bet you'll like this.
HELL YEAH!
Fini?
OW!
My Klingon Forehead is achy. I hope the Captain will massage my lumps for me! The Captain makes me HOT
The Week At WoW
Your Reference for eveything WoW.
DATE
7/26/06
DAMN IT!
Nothing Personal
7/25/06
If you want to read some sociology
You People Thin You're So Smart?
Got Donk?
Product Pimping
Dear Dr. Murk,
Ryan Jones
Spacewalks for sale! Spacewalks for sale! Get yer spacewalks here!
7/24/06
Another poem about our Fearless Leaders,
Not Even a Memory?
OMFG, I h8te IM chats, and TXTing.
July 2006 Wake Up Call
Sabotage!!!
7/23/06
Comic-Con 2006
7/21/06
paris in summer
Hey, would you deliver these bombs for US?
Here's the Deal...
Happy Groping...
7/20/06
The theme song to Armageddon.
Today is a sad day for The Captain.
Children's entertainment frightens me as well...
And I think to myslef . . .
RESCUE MISSION!
7/19/06
tropical paradise
The line has been drawn and now the challenge is issued!
Immigration in this country is broken
Couple of Hump Day Jokes!!!
7/18/06
And so, my children...
CNN.com could be a lot more fun if I was in control.
How Hot Is It?
GOOD GOD, A KLINGON!
The State of the Nation today is…
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Junk Brothers on HGTV (the review)
7/17/06
All for the Money.
A WikiWTF?
A Favor to ask of my fellow WoWers
You are all green with envy part II
So...
The Evil Media Landscape that is Kids Daytime Television.
7/16/06
Another classic CNN.com moment
You are all green with Envy . .
7/15/06
I give you the soundtrack of WoW
7/14/06
CONTEST!
Like I always say...
I've got one too!
A poem for our fearless leaders
Plugs Galore.
Feedburner anyone?
SpaceFarmer's New Action Blog by Dr. Murk, Grade 3 (a review)
Camp Hyrule is coming
It's a Freaking Horse!
Comparing weird search hit phrases
7/13/06
Need a little ACTION? Well, look no further.
Yeah, that sounds about right.
For Shits & Giggles
I thought of you, my brothers and sisters
I am Malach, there will be a quiz at 4PM
Nothing Personal
Just before I get started with my jokes for the Hump Day. I want to take a moment and say this is nothing personal men and to the women ...enjoy please. ~smooches~
~*~*~*~*~
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B. So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
If you want to read some sociology
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Okay If you really want to find out how things work in other countries then find a time to read Freedom of Expression in El Salvador: The Strugle for Human Rights and Democracy, I like to read other type of literature but once in a while I like to go back to my dirt.
You People Thin You're So Smart?
Well, my former arch nemesis Dr. Mantodea has a cure for that. Your stupid and it's all your fault. Rather than repost it here, I figured this article deserved it due and it's on Hill TV. Read at your own risk, sissies!
Product Pimping
There are shows, bands, movies, and other hobbies within each generation that defines that generation as a whole. While I may disagree that Nirvana was one of them, there is a showout on DVD that transcends, nay, destroys all boundaries of race, sex, and creed. The Boondocks is on sale now at most retailers, and there is really no excuse for any of you not to own it. It's a deliciously ingenious satire on America's modern-day racial tension, and it pulls no punches when talking about either whites or blacks. It's the most non-racist racial comedy around. Go buy it, and do my generation a favor.
Ryan Jones
What led to this?
Now that a bit more has come out about this case, I feel I can now comment on it. Read the latest from today's Standard Times. Before I begin, I need to stress a few things. I know Ryan Jones personally. I have had him as a client; his family are friends with my family; he plays on a Special Olympics Unfied Softball Team with me; I have known him for 12 years; I consider him a friend. I am by no means defending the reprehensible actions he is accused of, actions he understands that are wrong. I also don't want to downplay the death of Valerie Oransky, a woman I also knew through business contacts, charity events, and in my previous profession and a job developer for persons with disabilities. Her family has my condolences.
I will be reposting this at two other blogs. The Bristol MA Free Press (a psuedo news blog centered around Bristol County, MA), and The Wand of Wonder (a multi-contributer, free from blog, with 25 or so members of different backgrounds).
Ryan as stated in the article "was a special needs student". While not getting too much into here personal medical diagnosis (or lack there of), Ryan is a person with disabilities; slight cognitive development issues; and some mental illnesses (probably some undiagnosed). Ryan as a person is very quiet, almost painfully quiet, reserved, and lacking good social and communication skills. He is the type of person, that if you asked him how he was doing, he would respond in a quiet monotone "fine", and not expand on it. It takes him a while to warm up to you, and you need to be very direct and to the point talking with him if you want to find out information from him. He was known to have some anger, and possible explosiveness, but in the decade plus I have known him, I only saw it once, and it was easily redirected by myself. He does not do well with criticism, nor does he like to fail. He is a big guy, around 6', maybe 230lbs. Fairly strong (I have play wrestled with him and played football with him) but not overso. In the field, he would be labelled as "Very High Functioning" and is one of the most capable of the person with disabilities I have worked with. Ryan is one of those clients who falls through the cracks of this state's system, as told in a previous article I wrote.
Ryan graduated school as a 18 year old. In this state that can be the kiss of death for person's with disabilities. Becuase of his intelligence level (high boderline) he did not qualify for DMR services. He also was not "mentally ill enough" to qualify from DMH services. Because he gradutated early (or on time), he lost the chance for some services. He spent next few years floating around until he qualified for CBES services. The plus to CBES is that they are long term services as to opposed to regualar MRC job placement services which last about 6 months (but can be reopened). They pay a hourly rates based upon service hours to the program that is award the contract. Quickly, MRC contracts out assesement, job development, placement, and support services to a local program who is exepected to carry out the needed services. As I stated, most of the time those services are temporary, unless it is a CBES client. Luckily Ryan was one, and even more luckily, Ryan came to my former employer, The Opportunity Center/Work Inc, and worked with me, someone he already knew and trusted. He came into those services sometime around 1999 - 2000.
So Ryan came to be my client. His first year with me was spent assessing his skills, and he was eventually placed in a seasonal job at a golf course, which he more than successfully completed. It was during this time period, Work Inc. absorbed The Opportunity Center (OC). What occured that last year of my employment at the OC was a travesty, and Ryan was part of that. Beyond the acutual destroying of the reputation that we had built up by the OC, other things occured. At that time I was servicing 10 - 15 CBES accounts. Doing all the job counseling, development, and billing. I would bill the local MRC office, and the check would come to the OC. The VP at Work Inc who was responsible for "changing the OC to the Work Inc way", came to visit, and met with me and my boss. She wanted to know, refering to the CBES clients, why I was servicing clients for free. It was pointed out the her, that we were getting an hourly rate, and we were billing locally. Of course they were upset they were not getting the billing, but the contract was specifically for the OC and not Work Inc. The next visit was to complain about the hourly rate. You see MRC CBES contracts are front loaded, you get the higher portion of the contract for the beiginning services. Big money comes first, and then it go down to a $25 hourly rate for long term supports services. Work Inc was not happy with that rate, and compared the DMR clients hourly rate of $60 an hour.
These were two different programs, DMR paid you whether or not the client was even in the program $60 an hour, 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, for the entire years. DMR clients also were lower functioning so tended to need longer term and more extensive supports. CBES paid $25 for each hour you spent with the client, minimum of a hour. I was told, that this option was not finacially viable. So imagine this, $25 per hour, from an average of 6 hours per week, for each of 10+ CBES clients. That comes to $1,500 per week. That almost $80,000 a year. Work Inc was at most paying me half (including benefits, mileage, etc.) of that. This does not count the initial payment of $1000's of of dollars per client from vocational training and job develoment. That $40,000 was not worth it? Free money? For at the time a organization that was fincially strapped? Well needless to say, a six months after Malach left Work Inc. for greener pastures, they gradually dropped all the CBES client, including Ryan. Since no one else locally was contracted to do CBES, those clients who could not get other funding, no longer had supports.
So that leaves Ryan, who was now working at Old Country Buffet, with no support. No job coach, no counselor, no ride, no nothing. And here we are 3 years later one person is dead, several lives affected. Ryan is the type of guy to hold his emotions in, he will not actively tell you his problems. He will hold them in until he explodes. Again, if you talk to him and counsel him, this you can get the issues out, this type of behavior can be redirected and you can help solve his problems. He did not have this support any longer. According to his co-workers ha had been talking about killing Ms. Oransky for three weeks. No one informed anyone, or took him seriously? There was no one to inform, he had no support. He might no longer have even been labeled as a person with a disability, there was no longer an association with services. Might the prep cook have told someone who was coming by the work place to support Ryan once a week?
If there were supports, would this have occurred. I cannot say no, but I can tell you this. If Ryan had been saying this for about a month, he might have told me, or another counselor a year ago how unhappy he was. In this field two of the most serious things are suicide ideation and homicide ideation. They will immediatley get the things causing this ideation to stop. I am confident that any decent job counselor would have caught this early, nipped it in the bud, and perhaps Ryan would not have even been working there.
Again, I hate to place the blame on other things . . . Ryan is still responsible for his own actions, but I am very angry, this probably could have been prevented. I am angry that a human service organization (Work Inc.) put money ahead of helping a client. It takes some dying or getting maimed in this state, and the ruining of several lives for the issues to be addressed, and that has become much too common. Ryan will probably end up spending the next few decades at Bridgewater State Hospital. Time will tell. Watch this case, there should be some very interesting things that come out of it.
I am Malach, things need to change.
Spacewalks for sale! Spacewalks for sale! Get yer spacewalks here!
Space tourists offered 'holy grail of spaceflight'
You don't have to be an astronaut anymore to experience walking in space. All you need is $35 million and the willingness to risk your life.
A private Virginia firm that already has sent three super-rich men to the international space station for $20 million each announced Friday it would offer an even rarer adventure: A stroll outside the space station for an extra $15 million.
"It is the holy grail of spaceflight; it's something very few of the astronauts and cosmonauts have done," said Eric Anderson, chief executive of Space Adventures Ltd.
Added former NASA spacewalker Kathy Thornton, who is on the firm's advisory board: "It's just sort of the feeling of freedom, that you are your own satellite."
With the blessing of the Russian space agency, Space Adventures is arranging for the first spacewalking tourist to go into orbit in about a year or so, Anderson said.
The trip would involve a launch in a Soyuz capsule, an eight-day stay aboard the international space station and a 90-minute spacewalk in a Russian spacesuit. An extra month would be added to the six-month cosmonaut training.
Captain Flak Paperpants, a Wand of Wonder contributing blogger, well known space-enthusiast and complete friggin' geekball, was quoted by WoW as saying "JESUS H. FUCKME, someone get me 35 million smackeroons... STAT!"
Another poem about our Fearless Leaders,
Monday, July 24, 2006
Malach is a Mime
Murk is only Nine
Malach is really really Fine
Murk got spanked on his Behind
Malach wields a Baseball Bat
Murk wears a really funny Hat
Malach is the one with the funky Cat
Murk is the one who sleeps on the Mat
Malach uses a big Knife
Murk wishes I was his Wife
Malach is a flying Bird
Murk needs to go make a Turd
~fin~
Not Even a Memory?
This thought is related to the previous posts I have read regarding text messaging cell phones, internet chat and other forms of communicative ephemera, though in the opposite direction. Whereas those topic were about the inanity and lack of value in those forms of communication, I’m writing about that which has value yet is no more likely to last through time.
This is something I noticed a while ago, and thought about while watching some History Channel programs. One of the most valuable tools for later generations to gain insight into what things were truly like back in the time period that they are trying to learn of is nothing less than personal letters.
You see, proclamations, books, great speeches and carved stone tablets are valuable and informative, but they are all, shall I say… less than candid. They are written by people who are at least trying to influence their contemporaries, and at worst they are also spinning their work to provide a certain viewpoint the author wants those in later generations to have of him or her. Granted, even the most heavily spun political speech written by Abe Lincoln was a veritable literary wonder compared to the empty-of-content populist tripe that 99% of modern politicians promulgate.
But it’s the letters written by people alive at the time to each other that really tell you what it was like back in whatever era. From feudal Japan's poets, to Victorian midwives and US Civil War soldiers. And the letters written by famous (or not so famous) literary authors to their friends are worth more to some of us that the actual stories for which they are renowned.
But we are now at a dangerous time in our history. We have stopped writing things down. I don’t mean writing to each other, but actually creating a hardcopy document that captures in a physical medium the thoughts or exchanges between people. E-mails or web posts are not real. They have no physical presence and they can be deleted or worse, altered, by the author or even by completely different people at a later time to manipulate the perception those in the future would have of them. Not to mention they are stored as nothing more than binary bits on magnetic disks, subject to any well timed virus or electromagnetic pulse wiping them out. Even optical storage, though more durable, requires complicated equipment to decode and display, something that can be in issue if there are decades between the time it was stored and the time it will be read. A piece of paper just requires that the person be literate. Even a damaged or partial document is legible, but just a scratch or slight warp on a disk can obliterate everything stored on it.
Because of all that, I propose that we all do something to try and mitigate this potential black hole in history for future generations; print things out.
Now I’m not saying print out your e-mails and weblogs in a massive leather bound volume and sealed in a time capsule that is voided of air and temperature controlled. Hardly any of the historical letters we look at today were stored with any more care than being shoved in a cigar box in someone’s desk drawer.
Even just the act of printing things out, preferably with a date, and storing them in an envelope in a box in the attic is doing something for future historians to get a glance into what we may consider mundane, but to them is a priceless reliquary of our lives.
The only things to keep in mind however is the quality of the hardcopy, both in paper and in the ink used. Much of the cheaper pulp paper and some of the inks used by the dot matrix printers of the 80’s simply don’t last very long even when protected. So it may be best to use decent quality (not exorbitantly priced, mind you) paper for this. I have no idea of the long term potential for perpetuity of your typical HP printer ink/toner.
But it’s worth a small amount of trouble.
And most important, don’t think your not interesting enough for people to care what your thoughts are. The very fact that you aren’t “tainted” by the spectacle of public presence means the opinions you have in many ways carry more weight than those of the loudest voices of our time.
So take a moment and kill some trees. Your great great grandkids will be grateful.
OMFG, I h8te IM chats, and TXTing.
The downfall of Western Civilization.
I hate instant messaging (IM), I hate text messaging. I even hate cellphones, though you need to own one nowadays. Now, I do use instant messaging on occasion via Skype. I don't text message, and I only use the cell phone for emergencies and work (I unless I get called).
Why you ask? Why does the all powerful technically savy Malach the Merciless hate instant communication? Because it is not Instant Communication. It is HOURS of garbage.
I never spend any more that 15 minutes communicating with someone via IM, what's the purpose? I don't spend hours on the phone with people? Why the Hell would I want to spend hours on end IM or text messaging someone.
The typical IM conversation that I have experienced degenrates into crap after about 15 minutes. People looking for excuses to continue their conversation with a faceless person. IM's take away time from the real world, and don't be fooled by the "instant" tag. Want to compare? See how much quicker a phone conversation lasts. You wouldn't discuss half the tripe you discuss over an IM or Text you would on the phone. It ruins your real social life, relationships with real people, and your social skills. How many people do you know are addicted to IM/Texting and now can't hold a real conversation with the people they love? I really don't understand how someone can spend HOURS on end IMing or Texting someone, ignoring the world around them.
Texting is even more rediculous. I have tried responding to texts on my cell phone. FUGGIN" ANNOYING. Typing with my thunbs? Texting can be summed up on a beautiful quote from the show The Boondocks.
Gin Rummy: Man, I don't get that.
Ed Wuncler III: Get what?
Gin Rummy: That textin' shit!
Ed Wuncler: And what's wrong wrong with textin'?
Gin Rummy: You mean aside from the fact that it's the stupidest fucking thing in the world? I mean, why would anyone in their right mind spend fifteen minutes tryin' to type some shit they could've called and said in five seconds? Plus, it involves typing with your thumbs! Which I just don't approve of. Fuck, I don't know about you, but I don't have time to read nothin' that a motherfucker typed with they thumbs. Fun Fact: Nothing typed by someone's thumbs has ever been important. It's all just N*gga Technology anyway.
Ed: What'd you call it?
Gin Rummy: N*gga Technology. Technology for N*ggas. And you don't start trippin' and shit, call me a racist. 'Cause I don't mean N*gga in a disrespectful way, I-I mean it as a general term for ignorant motherfuckers. Anybody of any race can be an ignorant motherfucker.
Ed: Shit, I be textin' my ass off, shit. Bitches like textin'. I be textin' 'em all the time. Matter of fact, I also be textin' my weed man, too, cause, you know, he don't like to be on the phone, so I text 'im!
Gin Rummy: Case in point. So basically, N*gga Technology is anyting that doesn't plug into a printer. Does that plug into a printer?
Ed: No.
Gin Rummy: Know why? 'Cause N*ggas never have anything to print.
Now cell phones. Please display proper use of the cell phone. Cell Phone use is rediculously out of hand. They interupt everything for the most rediculous conversations or text messages. Why in the world does anyone instantly need to know there's a party going on later at night? Or you boyfriend is mad at you? And why does it constantly have to interupt life with a text or a phone call? Annoying is not the word. Don't you just sometime wanna grab the phone and toss it out the window?
A little aside on MySpace.
Evidently there was a problem this weekend at MySpace. Quoth the Tom:
hello everyone - so there was a power outage in LA yesterday. unfortunately it directly hit the data center where myspace's servers are located. lots of people were affected. the backup power failed and that's why myspace has been screwy since yesterday afternoon. we are still working to get everything back in order. i know what most of the problems are, it's just giong to take awhile to fix them. thx for your patience!
So of course Malach's Space in all messed up.
I am Malach, and this shiite is ruining my life!
July 2006 Wake Up Call
Hear that? Listen closely... Hear it?
That's the alarm clock of life buzzing, and you've overslept. Hell, we all have. We've refused to wake up and face what's happening around us.
War
Famine
Global Warming
Rampant Inflation
Ballooning Consumer Debt
Political Unrest
Angst
Suicide
Cloning
Space Exploration
Pollution
Extinction
Religious Intolerance
Agnosticism
Atheism
Athleticism
Nuclear Proliferation
Terrorism
Depression
Panic
700 Calorie Salads
Craig's List
Sufiism
Apartheid
Star Spandangledism
Liberalism
Trophy Wifeism
Paris Hiltonism
Secular Humanism
The Prom
Garbage Day
Bills
Stress
Corporate Barbarism
Commercialism
Main Stream Socialization
Advertising and Marketing
propaganda
and Bullshit.
I watch you people... YOU PEOPLE... blame our government, the president, each other, ME, the war in Iraq, religions and anyone or anything else that will keep you numb and hide where the real blame belongs. YOU!
You are a passive participant in this nonsense and it is not enough to type 'I h8te Bush' into your 4 year old computer, or to take sneaky cheap shots at God from your workstation. You are part of the mess. You need to clean up. Not TALK about cleaning up. Not YELL at other people to clean up. Not WHINE about how somebody else made a mess.
This reminds me of when I was a kid and the dog would sh*t on the rug. There were some people that would just pretend they didn't smell sh*t for hours until someone else cleaned it up. Yes, I was the one cleaning the sh*t.
"Bu... bu..., Doctah Murk! Doctah Murk!" you whine (and just by the tone of your voice I can already tell where you're going), "Wha... uh, well, wha are YOOOOUUU doing then? You don do nuttin but type crap into YOUR stupid computer too! Ha! Ha! I got you! I got you!"
Hmmm. You're so busy trying to analyze what I'm doing that you're forgetting the point. What do you give a sh*t what I'm doing??? You're like that loser on the white water rafting trip that stops paddling because he thinks everyone else is dogging it. Don't you get it that we are going to die in poverty and filth if you don't start actually DOING something about it? If we don't start bailing water now, the ship will sink. "Bu... bu... We're sinking!" you yell. No sh*t, Mycroft.
What really disappoints me is that I know a lot of you, and most of you used to be people of action. You used to DO things. Now... well, let's forget the recent past and make an effort for the future.
So, show me what you can do.
Murk
Sabotage!!!
.....Not that any of you would notice, but The Greater Good mysteriously went down this weekend. WHY, I don't know. I tried to add one thing to the template, but as my home internet connection isn't the hottest, I gave up and moved on, not saving any changes that I did. Log on yesterday, and I get a blank screen! The Illuminati must be pissed at me or something. Anyways, I'm back up, but I've lost all my template edits. Just wanted to let those of you who probably didn't visit the blog, but if you did and noticed it was gone, I didn't pull it, and now its back.
Comic-Con 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Where to begin, where to begin? We'll it was a great convention this year. Great people, great panels. Now I only went to about 4-5 panels with different sections within each. Let us start with the first!
The Activision panel, featuring Phil LaMarr, Stan Lee, and that chick from 90210 just to name a few. It started off with a great cinematic from Marvel's Ultimate Alliance. In the cinematic it contains the following characters: Spider-Man, Thor, Wolverine, Captain America, Nick Fury, Doctor Doom, and what looks like some Ultron robots. Long story short it was a funny as hell panel with one guy getting grilled for not liking Iron Man appear in X-Men Legends II (I believe). I went out early to go look around at the booths which were amazing. Of course DC Comics had one of the biggest booths, but Sci-fi channel took the cake. A big ass replica of a space ship I believe from their new Battlestar Galactica comprised the whole booth. Hasbro on the other hand had a giant Optimus Prime ready to go into battle at a moments notice. What I did find interesting was that there was a booth for Snakes on a Plane. What that was doing there I wouldn't know, but it's Snakes on a motherfucking Plane! Now after looking around buying a few things, like a mathematical delicious shirt, I then headed over to the dreaded Hall H.
Hall H is where they hold the most popular panels, ranging from big budget movies to the most popular cult figure in history. So we arrive, and it's a Disney panel. They talk about a four disc extended edition of the Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. They showed some extended scenes and some behind the scenes stuff. But then we get to the Pirates of the Caribbean. As soon as it goes on, screams and yells started to erupt. Now, imagine a room full of 6 thousand people, though it mainly sounded like teenage girls doing most of the screaming...We were shown some clips from the new movie that's going to be out and I can only say one thing about it: Singapore.
So I stick around see what else is going to be next and then, it's the Sony panel. Oh how I waited for this panel the whole time I was there. The first part had a discussion on Ghost Rider the movie. They showed us the trailer and then had the main cast and the main crew members come out. It was an interesting panel. I believe Nicholas Cage was stoned as hell during it. His whole thing about he flies in his dreams and when he wakes up he thinks that he can still hover......fucked up no? Very interesting panel indeed. After that however, we were treated to a most delightful treat, a panel on Spider-Man 3. Sam Raimi came out along with another producer. Sam starts poking fun at the other producer, Laura Ziskin I believe, by giving her the hardest question about the villains. She got all flustered and started to walk off and Raimi took the helm once again. Things started off by showing a trailer of the clip.
It shows more than the teaser of course, but one thing we weren't expecting: the movie's appearance of Venom. Sharp teeth and all. Everyone screamed, clap gave a standing ovation to it. It was great. We then are introduced to the main cast of the movie. Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard. However, James Franco did not show up, I believe he was under the weather or something of the sort. We being the Q & A. For about 15 Minutes it's all "I have a question for Mr. Raimi" "I have a question from Tobey" "I think your hot Kirsten Dunst" "I loved Lady in the Water" "How does it feel to play Venom Mr. Grace?". Everyone neglecting old Tommy boy. Though when we finally get to him, he gives out the most outrageous answers. Ranging from "being feed from Sam Raimi's breast" to "I would wreak havoc with corn, I shall be called the Corn Cobgoblin!". What I didn't expect, should've, that Sam Raimi mentioned that after Spider-Man 3 is wrapped up he will start on a new or remake of Evil Dead. He then begins to take jabs at Bruce Campbell about him being in almost all of his movies cameo or not.
When that was over, we were surprised by a recent addition to the day's festivities. A panel by Kevin Smith. This was by far the funniest, and the one with the most use of the F word that I have been in. He talks of course about Clerks II and by his surprise that it was given an R rating without any cuts required. How his movies are extremely crappy, in his opinion, and that he was surprised by the success they had. When asked about Jason Mewes being in attendcing. He said yes, then a prompt not saying that he was just fucking with us, and then another yes where he finally comes out and answers some questions also. The most interesting part was one when guy had a question, but he needed an interpretur because he can only communicate in sign language. He had fun with the interpretur making him say...well lets leave the lew sex acts out of this...He then goes onto debunk the rumor of him working on the Green Hornet movie. Describing that he would just have both of them leaning on their car the Black Beauty and go off screen to fight crime and we would only hear it, then go back to leaning on the car and make sex jokes. All in all it was a great convention....though the prescence of G4 kind of suck, most of the time they were barely filming and when they weren't their booth only had a few a people. Don't know why they even went. Oh well got to see Zach Selwyn and Wil O'Neal I believe from Attack of the Show. Still a great Con though. If you are able to go to San Diego for next year's Con I encourage you to go. It's like the Con of all Cons.
Side note: If you didn't know, the god like man known as Peter Cullen will be voicing Optimus Prime in the new Transformers movie. The original voice of Optimus! I'm still geeking out over it!!!
Hey, would you deliver these bombs for US?
Friday, July 21, 2006
According to the NYT, the Bush Administration just gave the go ahead to expedite the shipment of precision guided bombs to Israel. Just a little background info, the US provides about $1.8 billion dollars to Israel in "Foreign Military Financing" every year. This is a major part of the reason why so many Arabs see the US and Israel as one and the same. Those aren't just US made F-16's flying over your desert home, those are also US made precision munitions being dropped on what used to be your house.
This news about the "rush order" being filled by the US for our Israeli friends is just going to add more fuel to the fire while the IDF rolls into Lebanon to hunt down Hezbollah. Those are our tax dollars killing innocent Lebanese civilians.
Here's the Deal...
...if you ever make fun of Scientology again, Leah Remini WILL KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU. She's fuckin' serious.
You got that? HUH? HUH? DO YA?!!?
Happy Groping...
....our Idiot in Chief is at it again. This time, he's groping foreign nationals. For those of you who don't know, during the G8 summit, and without apparent provocation, or even the gleeful look of a merry prankster, GW sauntered up behind German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and began rubbing her shoulders. She quickly, and with a look of revulsion, shrugged him off. Look at his face. More the face of a sex offender than a jokester. Now, of course Hobbs here thinks Bush was slipping some government secrets down the back of her shirt (and her reaction was to hide that little love note), but I'll let you be the judge. You can watch the video (narrated by Jon Stewart on the Daily Show) here.
One question I ask is, what is with all the groping going on by world leaders? First Putin, and now This? Things are just getting stranger and stranger.
The theme song to Armageddon.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Can't you hear this tripe as the bombs fall on Beruit?
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton.
I am Malach, and when Murk and Malach become President we will make it legal to hunt down, and kill Paris Hilton.
Today is a sad day for The Captain.
For a Captain is always sad when his mighty ship sails away from him under someone else's command.
Or whatever.
I just downloaded the bill of sale for my beloved Jeep Liberty.
Hugs, please. Hugs!
Children's entertainment frightens me as well...
....with all these articles on childrens television, it seemed appropo to share this with you all. For some reason or another, at work I have been receiving emails promoting this live show for kids. In my real work, I've bought tickets for a number of people, which is likely why I am receiving these emails. However, it is the content of the emails that scare me. I've heard of Wiggles and all that, but what the HELL IS THIS???
WHAT THE HELL IS A DOODLEBOP?
And I think to myslef . . .
What a Wonderful World.
It nice to see that the US Marine Corp smells. You think this government would provide deodorant to our troops, or at least some Axe Body Spray. This poor little girl, having to deal with the manly musk of sweaty desert evacuation. After this photo was shot, a reporter asked here why she was holding her nose. She just kind of looked blankly at him and vomited on his shoes.
The soldier upon seeing this tossed here to the ground, defecated on her, placed a life sized cut out of Lynndie England pointing at her, took her pic and sent it to Hill TV.
I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!
Especially since soon my drug fueled NPH automobile antics might soon cause a death.
The Wonders of Wikipedia.
I hate Wikipedia, I love Wikipedia. I have the same relationship with Wal Mart. I mean, where else can you learn to build a dry ice bomb? Learn effective ways of suicide? Learn some new profanity? Learn some new sex moves? Yeah Wikipedia is useful. Even though none of you can get right crap in there.
The worst Webcomic on the Web.
I found it . . . Spamtoons. Read it, I could not find one that was funny, nor enjoyable. The art is atrocious, the writing even worse. BAD! I mean this is so bad it makes me angry.
Beryl, and Portugee Man-O-Wars.
So now that Malach is working a 4 day work week, the family is going to the beach tomorrow. Between TS Beryl and the Portuguese Man-O-War invasions, this should be fun.
Speaking of the Portuguese.
Be afraid, very afraid. Hobbs turn up the speakers and dance to scare co-workers. The Feast actually has the destinction of being in the Guinness Book of World Records for two things. The "largest Portuguese celebration in the world", and the "most alcohol consumed in a weekend".
A Question of my WoWees.
1. How long would the pole have to be to touch Pamela Anderson?
I am Malach, and I love my Portugees!
RESCUE MISSION!
U.S. Marines help evacuees board a landing craft on a beach in Beirut, Lebanon. That's nice, but is that Marine rescuing a beach chair?
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