For those who believe in a God without religion, please read this book, is AMAZING.
For those who believe following God is becoming wealthy, this is not the book for you.
Is called "The Heavenly Man" by Paul Hattaway and talks about the experience of "Brother Yun" and all he had to go through for following God in a country like China.
I recomend this book.
Monday, April 30, 2007
For real; ways of "teaching" are different from generation to generation, do they work?
uhmm, the other day I noticed my cousin in law (cousin's wife) she was taking dinner with my nephew and Niece, I crossed toward the kitchen and the kids were having a complete party while eating... they were screaming, they were laughing and almost daring to jump from the dinning table while eating. All I could hear was their mother whispering "Quiet, quiet,quiet" and they just kept going (I think they didn't even hear her with all that noise they were doing).
Well, I aproached to the kitchen window looked at the sky, a thought came to me... "Wow My brother and I are quiet while eating, very quiet... what made the difference back then? what made us be so quiet at the dinning table?..." then my memory answered clearly after some melancolic period of time... there is an answer, the answer is..."oh that salvadorean tortilla hitting our forehead on it's plain side followed by a "SHUT UP" every time we opened our mouths lol" oh man should I thank my stepmother? eh eh eh eh eh
The new Shroud of Turin?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Curt Schilling's Bloody Sock
Is it blood? Is it Paint? Is it Dye? Don't you love "mysteries".
I am Malach, and yes Virginia it is blood.
The Answer - Puberty
After my brain was reeling from the side-effects of doing 3 hours of calculus, I called up a friend for some moral support.
One thing led to another and then we came up with the theory that PUBERTY is the cause of most, if not all, mysteries of the universe.
Puberty apparently answers
1. Why did the dinosaurs dissappear?
2. Newton's law "every action has an equal and opposite reaction"
3. What made the apple fall?
4. Why is the universe expanding at such a fast rate?
5. Purpose of life.
Whilst puberty is not the direct answer to some of those, it is indeed a major contributor.
1. Why did the dinosaurs dissappear?
Lizards don't have hair (normal hair not the 'special' kinds that some reptiles have)
When the dinosaurs reached puberty thew grew hair.... and lots of it
=> they were not reptiles anymore.
=> they ceased to exist
=> extinction
2. Newton's law "every action has an equal and opposite reaction"
The advent of puberty introduces sexual desire. So when two people are indulging in intercourse, a thrust by one partner will lead to the other to move in the opposite direction to the same extent.
Hence proved
3. What made the apple fall?
The fruit reached puberty. It began to have problems with its mom (the tree). Filled with angst it began to weaken the bonds b/w the tree and itself.
Once it got ripe it fell off.
4. Why is the universe expanding at such a fast rate?
This one requires you to consider the entire universe as a living being.
Remember how you had growth spurts when you hit puberty?
Well it's the same here.
5. Purpose of life.
Not talking about individual purposes, the basic purpose of life is to create and offspring an ensure survival of your species.
But that can only happen because of puberty.
Puberty leads to growth of your sexual organs.
No sexual organs means no sperm and ovum
=> no eggs
=> no life
It needs some tweaking, but we plan to enter it for the Nobel.
Hump Day Jokes ...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house.
In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Three buddies decided to take their wives on vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The week flew by and they all had a great time. After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their vacation.
The first guy says "I don't think I'll ever do that again! Ever since we got back, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, "7 come 11" all night & I haven't had a wink of sleep!"
The second guy says "I know what you mean...my old lady played blackjack the whole time we were there and she slaps the bed all night and hollers 'hit me light or hit me hard', and I haven't had a wink of sleep either!"
The third guy says "You guys think you have it bad! My old lady played the slots the whole time we were there... every morning, I wake up with a sore dingy and a butt full of quarters!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house.
George's Wife: "The last time you went out with your friends you got so drunk that you puked on your shirt."
George: "But Honey, I promise that I wont drink a drop of alcohol all night!"
So after begging his old lady for an hour, George got the OK the go out with the guys as long as he stayed off of the booze. George met up with the guys at a local bar and proceeded to get shit-faced. After about 3 hours of guzzling liquor, George blew chow all over his shirt.
George: "Shit! The old lady is going to throw my ass out of the house for getting drunk and puking on my new shirt!"
Bill, George's best pal, gave drunk ass George an idea of how to keep from getting in trouble with the wife.
Bill: "All you got to do is have a $20 bill in your hand when you walk through the door. Then, when she accuses you of barfing all over yourself, just tell her that some other drunk puked on you and that he gave you 20 bucks to get the shirt cleaned."
So, when George walked into the house with money in hand, his wife was waiting for him in the living room.
Georges wife: "I knew that your drunk ass would spew bile and booze all over that new shirt!"
George: "Honey, let me explain! This drunken fool at the bar puked on me and gave me 20 bucks to have it cleaned."
His wife snatched the money out of his hand and observed that he was holding two $20 bills.
George's wife: "Is that so? Then where did the other 20 dollar bill come from?"
George: "Oh, That's from the guy who shit in my pants."
~hump day lovin~
I'm off to colonize the Super-Earth of Gliese 581?
WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- European astronomers have spotted what they say is the most Earth-like planet yet outside our solar system, with balmy temperatures that could support water and, potentially, life.
They have not directly seen the planet, orbiting a red dwarf star called Gliese 581. But measurements of the star suggest that a planet not much larger than the Earth is pulling on it, the researchers say in a letter to the editor of the journal Astronomy and Astrophysics.
"This one is the first one that is at the same time probably rocky, with water, and in a zone close to the star where the water could exist in liquid form," said Stephane Udry of the Geneva Observatory in Switzerland, who led the study.
"We have estimated that the mean temperature of this super-Earth lies between 0 and 40 degrees Celsius, and water would thus be liquid."
"We have been very lucky to identify a volunteer for a manned exploration of the new Super-Earth. To protect his identity, we can only refer to him by his code name: The Angry Veteran. We are currently making preparations to put him in deep hibernation and launch him to the Gliese 581 system."Reuters was able to speak with this volunteer over the phone, but not in person. "I had no idea that my contract with the U.S. Army had an option that could be picked up by NASA. This shit is unreal."
What the Hell is Red Sox Nation
Monday, April 23, 2007
As promised.
It is hard to explain Red Sox fanaticism to someone out of the area. Yes, their are fanatical fans out there, some of them come to mind: The Fans of the Raiders, the Fans of the Red Skins, any fan of a Philedelphia team . . . but being a member of Red Sox Nation is something different.
I am trying to get is classified as a mental illness. Red Sox fans are so fanatical, that is all they ever talk about . . . Football season, basketball, hockey, it is all about the Red Sox. You live and die with every games, every inning, every pitch. Game one has as much importance as game 7 of the World Series. If they lose your depressed, if they win, your higher than a kite. Red Sox fans have this fatalistic attitude (even with the 2004 win), and take each win and lose to an extreme. You want to hear it? Go to WEEI.com and listen live to the callers and show hosts, they are all insane.
How did this happen? Why just this team? Boston is a Baseball town. The Red Sox are the oldest team in New England, they won the world series 5 times since their 1901 inception and 4 times between 1912 and 1918, including back to back in '15 and '16. Red Sox Nation was on top of the world . . and then the whole Babe Ruth incident happened. The rest they say is history. Not only did they not win a title until the 2004 season, they lost it is improbable ways. Johnny Pesky's throw in 1946, in 1967 you had perhaps one of the best baseball teams in history, only to lose, the Bucky f'n Dent, Billy f'n Buckner, one strike away in 1986, and Aaron f'n Boone. When not getting a shot at the series, they continually finished second to the Yankees.
We have developed this complex . . it is Bi-Polar and psychotic in nature. It can be scary, sad, and funny.
How do you know you are a member of Red Sox Nation? If you answer yes to anyone of these questions below, seek some professional help.
1. Do you wonder what Terry Francona will do with with his long reliever during the middle of a Patriots Super Bowl?
2. Have you ever contemplated taking your own life after a heartbreaking loss in the first two months of the season?
3. Do you find yourself yelling at the TV, more specifically Red Sox managers?
4. Do you expect the Red Sox to lose every game once they go down by one run?
5. Do you skip appointments and miss family reunions to watch the game?
6. Do you juggle your schedule around the game?
7. Is Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond you favorite song?
8. Do you chant "Yankees Suck" when they actually don't suck? At other sporting events including little league? At concerts? Out your car window?
9. Is Fever Pitch your favorite movie? Or does the movie describe you life?
10. Do you take out a mortgage to renew your season tickets?
We are a little better now since the comeback against the Yankees and the big win in 2004. But that is starting to fade . . . please help us.
Ding Dong Drunkies Dead.
Boris Yeltsin . . . he kept Smirnoff in business during those lean years. RIP my Russian Pookie Bear.
I am Malach and I miss Yuri Andropov.
I'll tell you what the troops would think, Senator Jackass
Friday, April 20, 2007
From the AP:
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said Thursday the war in Iraq is "lost," triggering an angry backlash by Republicans, who said the top Democrat had turned his back on the troops.
...
"I can't begin to imagine how our troops in the field, who are risking their lives every day, are going to react when they get back to base and hear that the Democrat leader of the United States Senate has declared the war is lost," said Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky.
Comment:
How are they going to react? I'll tell you. They are going to say: "Yeah, no shit; let's get the fuck out of here."
What a fucking hypocritical Jackass you are, Mitch McConnell, acting like you care about the feelings of the troops. If you really cared about the troops and their families you'd have vigils and ceremonies for those killed in action. You'd be there to receive the flag draped coffins. But no, we need to hide the dead soldiers and only invoke them when we have a politcal point to make.
The troops don't want to be in Iraq, they don't want to die in Iraq, and they would all be very, VERY happy to come home. They certainly don't need you to "protect" them from the words of Senator Reid. What they need is someone to protect them from President Bush and his crazy neocon cabal of right wing idiots.
The voters thought they did that in the midterm elections, but even an election doesn't seem to stop the Bush neocon war machine.
We finally changed!
The WoW is now new blogger.
Lot of cool new features and use the labels, it will help organize this blog more! You will know need to sign in with your google account. I would also suggest you label the author of your posts, that will make it easy for fans to follow your posts by clicking on it author label.
I am Malach and I am new.
Yup, it's your fault.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
And so on, for how many hours?
You're pathetic.
You have no life. You have no sense of your own destiny or your own worth. You endlessly run drooling from one spectacle to the next instead of reading a great work of literature, or designing an house, or learning a new skill, or inventing something, or mentoring the next generation. You roll around in a cesspit of endless gossip instead of sitting down with friends and family to talk about things that actually matter. You sit with your thumb up your ass rather than use your time to make yourself better. For fuck's sake, you don't even bother taking the time to switch thumbs once in a while.
Some loser, who was mentally ill, lost his shit and killed 33 people, the last one being himself. It's a shame he didn't start from the opposite order. It's a shame everyone is wallowing in fake sympathy and melodramatic selfish shared tragedy all of a sudden, when shit like this is happening every day to equally good and innocent people in other parts of the world. It's a shame that instead of working to change the world to make it a better place you just look for the next big thing to ring your hands about uselessly, or look for some way to stick the blame on your chosen enemies, whoever they may be.
And you're still doing it because you're reading yet another post on a fucking blog that doesn't mean anything, and as a result the world has gone unchanged by you for a couple of minutes more.
As I said, you're pathetic.
Get out of my sight.
We live in a society that craves attention, and craves giving attention. That's the reason why things like blogs and MySpace and YouTube and reality TV are the new cornerstones of society that they are. It's the reason why shills like Dr. Phil and Jack Thompson spout their verbal pus for the cheering crowds. It's the reason why NBC thought that it was a good idea to publish the rantings of a lunatic on national TV, thus giving the loser the very thing he wanted, national exposure.
And it's the reason why you fucking watched all of it. Its the reason why you had your eyes glued to the goddamn TV watching CNN and Fox news channel endlessly replay the same mantra;
Reporter: "There was a shooting. We don't know anymore, but we'll keep showing you the same stale footage over and over anyway, as we speculate about what COULD BE the actual facts. Don't go away, because you might miss something important! Now, a word for our sponsors."
Commercial: 'Do you have erectile dysfunction?....'"
And so on, for how many hours?
You're pathetic.
You have no life. You have no sense of your own destiny or your own worth. You endlessly run drooling from one spectacle to the next instead of reading a great work of literature, or designing an house, or learning a new skill, or inventing something, or mentoring the next generation. You roll around in a cesspit of endless gossip instead of sitting down with friends and family to talk about things that actually matter. You sit with your thumb up your ass rather than use your time to make yourself better. For fuck's sake, you don't even bother taking the time to switch thumbs once in a while.
Some loser, who was mentally ill, lost his shit and killed 33 people, the last one being himself. It's a shame he didn't start from the opposite order. It's a shame everyone is wallowing in fake sympathy and melodramatic selfish shared tragedy all of a sudden, when shit like this is happening every day to equally good and innocent people in other parts of the world. It's a shame that instead of working to change the world to make it a better place you just look for the next big thing to ring your hands about uselessly, or look for some way to stick the blame on your chosen enemies, whoever they may be.
And you're still doing it because you're reading yet another post on a fucking blog that doesn't mean anything, and as a result the world has gone unchanged by you for a couple of minutes more.
As I said, you're pathetic.
Get out of my sight.
Hump Day Jokes!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally givths a thit."
~*~*~*~*~
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach, and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Minutes later, he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"
~*~*~*~*~
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!" The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally givths a thit."
~*~*~*~*~
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach, and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Minutes later, he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"
~*~*~*~*~
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!" The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
~hump day lovin~
Google has a sense of humor
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Check this out...
1. Go to _www.google.com (http://www.google.com/)
2. Click on "Maps"
3. Click on "Get Directions"
4. Type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. Type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. Click on "Get Directions."
Take a look somewhere around # 23.
The pedia worth clicking on
Monday, April 16, 2007
We've had the Wiki-bombs set.....we've tried to eliminate the whole Wiki-Nazi....
But alas...I have found a PEDIA worth keeping around.
Folks! I present today's accidental find....
NAKEPEDIA!!!!!
It has every porn star and their stats!
Please...go.....check it out....HERE. You'll thank me in the morning.
*** This has been a pubic service announcement ***
Toyi war experience Chapter IX
Okay, continuing with my accustomed post about Civil war in my country, I will bring what I left pending last time.
The sweetness of aunt Marin, she had lost her 2 kids and the approach to Me and my brother reminded her own kids. As I said before she had a daughter few years later after her last boy past away, her daughter was a year younger than me and a year older than my brother.
Okay we were like the 3 musketeers, we always played together, we didn’t have toys because we were not in an economic position to have toys, but that didn’t stop us to play and we didn’t miss toys. (you only miss what you have lost anyways); we got very creative playing with branches, flowers, stones, leaves, climbing trees, plastic dishes & pans we were used to grab from Granny’s kitchen. We spent great amount of time watching my grandpa work on his evil scientist projects (very fun); So aunt Marin loved to do my curls, pet me and always got me nice dresses; I started calling her mother … I didn’t rationalize this but I believe the lack of a mother and getting my aunt affection made me declare her my mother.
Well hello we also had company, other cousins… they were older than us, reason why they never played with us (they were not going to play with babies like us lol) they were kids from another aunt that also lived in the same house, 2 boys and a girl (girl was 9, 10 & 11). Aunt Marin husband abandoned her while she was pregnant of her last baby; she worked at a local Bank. There was a local National University building right across the street, one day tank noise woke us up… they parked in front of our house and raid the building, they checked in every single room and took the people out and closed it. We had never seen a real war tank before only in the movies and looked very scary and cool. Some soldiers picked up my brother and played with him for a while later on the tanks left leaving few soldiers watching the looked building door.
In those days aunt Marin felt very sick but didn’t pay too much attention to it, but she got to a point were the fevers were very high and she started swelling and was almost unable to walk. Granny took her to the doctor and the diagnosis was Cancer in her uterus and was on second stage, they said with chemotherapy she would be able to survive. Well family decided to go ahead with treatment, but things got uglier war talking. There were shut outs every single night and aunt Marin could barely move, her pain was sharp and she was unable to sleep complaining… sometimes my family had to take her to the hospital in plain curfew in the middle of the night thanks to out neighbor that owned a Taxi Cab & that didn’t care the danger to be shot, he would accompany my dad and Granny carring aunt Marin.
I worried very much and it was hard to think that none of them may come back alive, the dawns were long for me and all I could do was to watch over my little brother sleep.
Okay after some months of going-coming, midnight trips, lots of spent nights with aunt Marin doctor had a new diagnose… the cancer was gone but the chemotherapy had permanently damaged her kidneys and needed a transplant immediately they tested the adults in my family for compatibilities and found aunt Wilma, aunt Wilma lived in the country capital since she married; she was completely willing to give her kidney for her sister, they went ahead with the surgery… and performed the transplant, few months later aunt Marin died at age 33for surgery complications. Honestly I sort of didn’t want to write this chapter just because of this, I didn’t know how to put this in words because this is a moment in my life that is very hard and sad to describe my feelings. When my aunt was agonizing, they took us (kids) to the other part of the house, I sensed there was something far from right, lots of motion among the family; people coming others going, others commenting about her words to them, others trying to hide that they were crying, I felt desperate and I tried to listen what people were saying waiting to hear at least that she was doing fine. Few hours later some other family member approached to us (kids), we all sat and she told us that aunt Marin was not going to be with us any longer (Toyi cries) that she has gone to heaven, and now was an angel.. That night they made us wear our nicest clothing (a dress she bought for me in the past) and the funeral was held at home because of the war and curfew to avoid exposing family and friends, I remember all the lights in the room she was in, all the flowers and all the people around us, I approached to her coffin and asked my dad to hold me up to see her, she was there laying, I felt good at the moment because I didn’t see her suffering, her face looked relaxed and far from her common pain expression, she looked beautiful wearing a dress I tried to recognize but I couldn’t, it was a light purple dress, I observed her chest and confirmed she wasn’t breathing … she was like a doll (beautiful and lifeless, just like when you lay a doll and closes her eyes) I even thought, yes she is indeed an angel now.
God!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Okay, I have a free day and a free thought today, is sunday and is not more day to live, despite all the resentments that go around God's ways, I encourage you to look for him, he is at the door knocking and all we have to do is open it so he can come into your life (if is what you really want).
God is not something to debate, God is not something that you can figure from outside, God is not your servant or your genie to do what you want like in Aladin tale, God is a king, king that governs in your life only if you let him in.
Nothing I say is going to convince you or amaze you about him, all I can say is that I am amaized soooo amaized that I can't hide my feelings and as good feeling I would at least tell you to give him a chance to be in your life because I would like you to have what I have, what can you lose?... you have to meet him personally to get to know him better, don't listen to people's opinion about him specially knowing that they have never met him personally because all they have is an opinion if you really have considered it please try personally and open the door, he is knocking.
Who is the real Otis Serungis.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Otis Serungis.
Occasional article contributer, and poster, what do you really know about him? He likes to write articles about waste management, and he might be a Portagee.
Malach has obtained this exclusive video, of a recent date Mr. Serungis had. He is the one in the blue bathrobe, the bathrobe he affectionately calls Mr. Sticky.
So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
I am Malach and I bring you the dirt.
Once Upon a Time...
before he would become the Angry Veteran, the Angry Veteran was riding his bicycle on a warm summer day, a beatific look on his hairless adolescent face. "Tra-la-la," sang the Angry Veteran, "tra-la-la-la-lee." Smiling benignly, the Angry Veteran approached an intersection and signalled a left turn. The Angry Veteran was always careful to use hand signals, as he was taught "safety first!".
Heedless of the Angry Veteran's signal, a large, black Cadillac hurtled through the intersection and collided with the Angry Veteran just as he was making his turn. It turned his bike into a twisted metal pretzel and sent the Angry Veteran hurtling through the air, where he would come to rest against a very hard stone curb. His beatific smile vanished, and his leg was broken so badly it left him with an unsightly scar he bears to this very day.
The car door opened and a man stepped out. "What did you do to my car?!!!" screamed the driver of the Cadillac, a rotund, heavily-accented Portuguese man indifferent to the bleeding Angry Veteran on the side of the road.
And do you know what happened next?
The Angry Veteran killed that man.
Wear your seatbelt, dumbass
From the AP:
CAMDEN, N.J. (AP) -- Gov. John C. Corzine was apparently not wearing his seat belt as required by law when his official SUV crashed into a guard rail, leaving the governor hospitalized in critical condition, a spokesman said Friday.
The crash broke the governor's leg, six ribs, his sternum and a vertebrae. Authorities were searching for the pickup truck driver blamed for causing it.
Comment:
What do you mean, "apparently" wasn't wearing his seatbelt. He was either wearing it or not. Why is there a law requiring you to wear your seatbelt? So when some idiot swerves into you and wrecks your SUV you get minor contusions and soft tissue injury and not a broken leg, sternum, vertebrae, and rib cage.
I know it's only been the law for over twenty years and you are just the chief executive responsible for enforcing the law in New Jersey, but hey, dumbass, put your seatbelt on.
Quick, someone blame Al Sharpton or rap music - a white guy got hurt.
The Marketplace has Spoken
You're fired.
While I would like to think that the executives at MSNBC and CBS Radio dismissed Imus for his history of sexist and racist remarks; culminating in his attack on the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team, I know it isn't.
The reason he was fired: Adam Smith. Economics, baby. Advertisers were leaving the Imus show in droves. Insiders report that the numbers of cancelled advertisers was in the triple digits.
Why is this a good thing? Because advertisers are just a reflection of society - their entire existence depends on knowing what people want and don't want to hear. In addition, they know what kind of demand they can and cannot create with advertisements. Imus is no longer a product people want or a product advertisers can convince people they want. Good for us.
So, the bad news is that there are still plenty more sexist and racist "shock jocks" out there who are all too ready to laugh their misogyny and racism off as "just a joke" - but the good news is that the tide is turning.
Good riddance Imus.
Kurt Vonnegut
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Today, one of the world's greatest satirists of all time has died today at the age of 84. For more on the story click here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18066068/?GT1=9246
Short .... Hump Day Jokes...
For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!"
*~*~*~*
"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not." "If you do," he went on,
"I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
"Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.' "
*~*~*~*
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
~wicked love ya'll~
Don Imus
So, I was going to write an insightful blog but . .
I read this article by Jason Whitlock (who would kick that midget Lupica's ass) in the Kansas City Star. I am reprinting the entire article here without permission. Sue me.
********
Imus isn’t the real bad guy
Instead of wasting time on irrelevant shock jock, black leaders need to be fighting a growing gangster culture.
By Jason Whitlock
Thank you, Don Imus. You’ve given us (black people) an excuse to avoid our real problem.
You’ve given Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson another opportunity to pretend that the old fight, which is now the safe and lucrative fight, is still the most important fight in our push for true economic and social equality.
You’ve given Vivian Stringer and Rutgers the chance to hold a nationally televised recruiting celebration expertly disguised as a news conference to respond to your poor attempt at humor.
Thank you, Don Imus. You extended Black History Month to April, and we can once again wallow in victimhood, protest like it’s 1965 and delude ourselves into believing that fixing your hatred is more necessary than eradicating our self-hatred.
The bigots win again.
While we’re fixated on a bad joke cracked by an irrelevant, bad shock jock, I’m sure at least one of the marvelous young women on the Rutgers basketball team is somewhere snapping her fingers to the beat of 50 Cent’s or Snoop Dogg’s or Young Jeezy’s latest ode glorifying nappy-headed pimps and hos.
I ain’t saying Jesse, Al and Vivian are gold-diggas, but they don’t have the heart to mount a legitimate campaign against the real black-folk killas.
It is us. At this time, we are our own worst enemies. We have allowed our youths to buy into a culture (hip hop) that has been perverted, corrupted and overtaken by prison culture. The music, attitude and behavior expressed in this culture is anti-black, anti-education, demeaning, self-destructive, pro-drug dealing and violent.
Rather than confront this heinous enemy from within, we sit back and wait for someone like Imus to have a slip of the tongue and make the mistake of repeating the things we say about ourselves.
It’s embarrassing. Dave Chappelle was offered $50 million to make racially insensitive jokes about black and white people on TV. He was hailed as a genius. Black comedians routinely crack jokes about white and black people, and we all laugh out loud.
I’m no Don Imus apologist. He and his tiny companion Mike Lupica blasted me after I fell out with ESPN. Imus is a hack.
But, in my view, he didn’t do anything outside the norm for shock jocks and comedians. He also offered an apology. That should’ve been the end of this whole affair. Instead, it’s only the beginning. It’s an opportunity for Stringer, Jackson and Sharpton to step on victim platforms and elevate themselves and their agenda$.
I watched the Rutgers news conference and was ashamed.
Martin Luther King Jr. spoke for eight minutes in 1963 at the March on Washington. At the time, black people could be lynched and denied fundamental rights with little thought. With the comments of a talk-show host most of her players had never heard of before last week serving as her excuse, Vivian Stringer rambled on for 30 minutes about the amazing season her team had.
Somehow, we’re supposed to believe that the comments of a man with virtually no connection to the sports world ruined Rutgers’ wonderful season. Had a broadcaster with credibility and a platform in the sports world uttered the words Imus did, I could understand a level of outrage.
But an hourlong press conference over a man who has already apologized, already been suspended and is already insignificant is just plain intellectually dishonest. This is opportunism. This is a distraction.
In the grand scheme, Don Imus is no threat to us in general and no threat to black women in particular. If his words are so powerful and so destructive and must be rebuked so forcefully, then what should we do about the idiot rappers on BET, MTV and every black-owned radio station in the country who use words much more powerful and much more destructive?
I don’t listen or watch Imus’ show regularly. Has he at any point glorified selling crack cocaine to black women? Has he celebrated black men shooting each other randomly? Has he suggested in any way that it’s cool to be a baby-daddy rather than a husband and a parent? Does he tell his listeners that they’re suckers for pursuing education and that they’re selling out their race if they do?
When Imus does any of that, call me and I’ll get upset. Until then, he is what he is — a washed-up shock jock who is very easy to ignore when you’re not looking to be made a victim.
No. We all know where the real battleground is. We know that the gangsta rappers and their followers in the athletic world have far bigger platforms to negatively define us than some old white man with a bad radio show. There’s no money and lots of danger in that battle, so Jesse and Al are going to sit it out.
*******
Again, Malach is not black, nor could he ever come close to understanding what it means to be black. But I have said this before and it bear repeating. What do you black kids have to look upto? Gangsta Rappers, Sports Stars, and Drug Dealers. Why has black culture, a culture with a history longer than white culture, become this farce?
And rap/hip hop. Like most modern music, it has all gone to shit. Gone are the socially concious afrocentric artist, to be replaced by pimps and gangstas. Black sports start propogate the stereotype. We are raising a black race of incarcerated.
I am Malach, and think about it.
Why GodTube is the best site on the web
Monday, April 09, 2007
I am Malach and the Angry Piper likes big butts.
Nice Sunday!!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
As you know I am Christian and I am proud to follow Christ & anounce his news, I am not a follower of "Dates" to give thanks to the one that has given his life for me.
The most clear thing to me is that I shouldn't bury and grieve for someone that is alive. So this is one of those nice resting sundays... I am no angel through human eye and don't expect to be (that will become the greatest frustration if I ever attemp to expect), but he made me perfect to his eyes and is all I care really...
I thank God for get me through very tough times in my childhood.
I thank God for grabbing me from Death's arms soooo many times and keeping me alive in the middle of civil war.
I thank God because I know the meaning of having food everyday today and because in the past no matter the amount and no matter what, he always had a bite for me.
I Thank God because he has taught me to forgive jerks and most of the times the jerk that lives in myself, because if it was for me.. I would never, but because of him and my will to please his wishes, I have learned to count their offenses and throw them to the bottom of the sea.
I thank God because he understand my feeling and because made me free to express what I want, the way I want it and even when people don't like it.
I thank God for giving me a family that cared to raise me even in their short consicence, but I thank that because he was present in their memories and their hearts is the reason that I am here alive and understanding his love deeply.
I thank God for giving me a heart and a natural body to live and to let me understand that I am here in this world for his cause, and not for evolution rutinary-trasitional purposes borning and dying for no specific reason.
I thank God for give me a special place as his daughter and not as a developing specimen only.
I thank God for giving me a pronounsible name.
I thank God for being in one I can trust besides computers.
I Thank God for respecting the wish of human being of "developing in their own" acepting none of his help.
I Thank God for willing to help only those who call for help and see it has a privilege.. not as a right.
I thank God for being there when I call on my emotional stages because he listens to me and don't charge a fee or gives me useless imperfect human methods.
I Thank God for chosing me to see his wonders.
I Thank God for enjoying his word.
I Thank God for giving human mind to think and develop not caring if they use it to stab him and denie him.
I love God because he gives me a new day every day and let me die to the previous one.
He is my special father and I thank him daily for what he has given me and for what is about to give me, I thank him for including a feeling in humanity called "Faith" that makes everything inside me funtion just like my heart does.
All%20are%20welcome.bmp
The Difference Between Cats and Dogs
The difference between dogs and cats can be demonstrated by a simple test. When you point at something, even though dogs have no hands or fingers of their own, they understand that you are pointing at something and look in the direction you are pointing.
Cats look at your finger.
Cats are fucking stupid.
This is allegorical to religious fundamentalists who take the bible literally word for word as opposed to reading it for the messages that it is meant to convey. Por exemple, the book of genesis isn't really about the creation of the universe, that's just filler, background. The creation story is there to provide a backdrop for the characters-- the first humans, who end up, though their flawed human nature, falling from grace. This is followed by later stories of Cain killing able and Noah's Ark, which are also meant to talk about human nature and other rot, ad naseum. The point of the stories are the characters. Agree with their points or not, it's obvious to anyone who passed 6th grade reading that the stories are there to serve as parables and lessons on how to behave, how to overcome hardship, what foods are safe to eat, and how to slaughter a cow properly for sacrifice.
If you look at it that way, as many religious people with a functioning brain do, then you see no contradiction with science, knowledge and faith. Knowing you evolved from a common ancestor to chimps doesn't impact your spiritual life, or your faith in the Great Old One. But when a fundamentalist looks at each and every word as being literally true in these stories, they are looking at the finger, rather than what the finger is pointing at: namely the point of the damn story.
And that is why, like cats, fundamentalists are fucking stupid.
And also why they should be provided to high school biology classes, so they can be cut open to examine their small, formalin-steeped brains, before tossing them in the dumpster.
Oh, yeah.. happy fucking Easter.
Man this guy just shook the whole foundations of scientific theory
Friday, April 06, 2007
We come from monkeys my ass!
Of course the little flaw in his argument, is bananas are perfectly designed for our monkey ancestors too . . .
Gwen Stefani, your thoughts?
I am Malach and GodTube is now Dr. Mantodea's favorite website
I want the sexual truth!
Here it is folks. The truth disclosed. I read Playboy. Seriously! I READ IT! Okay, yeah......I like looking at the pictures, too. *shrugs*
So the other night, I thought I had picked up the latest issue of Playboy (when I had actually picked up the one from December) and I began reading an article on Erotic Literature. Three authors waxed technique and gave their version of what was erotic in life as well as in literature to them as adolescents and now. It was interesting to read but it brought up a very big thought.....
What is erotic? Is it boot fetishes? Is it women in latex? Is it men with gag-balls or is it a woman tied to a tree? Is it in the sexual act itself?
And then those questions lead to, how do you present "erotic" in an original and intersting way via literature?
You see, (most of you know) I contribute to Tainted Love. I would not say my stuff is erotic. Strange maybe....with some sexual content....but not really erotic. I want to create an erotic masterpiece and present it in a way that is original, arousing and interesting.
So last night, I decided that I am going to take a public poll. Anyone and everyone (male and female) who reads this is allowed to answer this poll. All persons and answers will be kept strictly confidential. Will you please participate??
Answer the following questions and submit your answers to just.myko@gmail.com. Please use honesty (do not e-mail me and tell me you find your cereal box erotic!) and feel free to add to the questions with your comments or ask me questions.
Here they are:
What do you consider to be erotic, be it your own fantasy or something you've seen/read?
Do you read erotic literature?
If so, what story captivated you the most and why?
Do you watch pornographic movies or purchase pornographic magazines?
If so, what is your favorite medium and why?
Come on folks, help a writer out!
Screw Easter and Chocolate Jesus!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
The Real "My Sweet Lord"
I am Malach, my sweet lord, hare krishna, gurur brahma, gurur vishnu, gurur devo, maheshwara, gurur sakshaat, parabrahma, tasmayi shree, guruve namah, hare rama.
Now, Auto C and YPG don't have to feel left out.
Happy Easter Weekend!
"My Sweet Lord" is, of course, getting much more publicity because people protested it and the museum decided to cancel the exhibit.
If there was a Jesus of Nazareth, he was probably black, so, technically, this is probably a more accurate depiction of him than the pasty white long haired figure with a halo that we grew up with.
But was he delicious? Sadly, we will never know. The shroud of Turin was unfortunately devoid of any chocolately goodness.
As for the medium chosen by the artist, I'm more of a milk chocolate fan, but I can certainly approve of my brothers and sisters who prefer the dark chocolate.
Whatever your preference, please go out and celebrate the return of our Sweet Lord with the chocolate of your choice. Amen!
Happy Angry Feggin' Piper Day!
Monday, April 02, 2007
I am Malach, and Frosted Lucky Charms are Magically delicious
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)