The Symbol-Minded are Simple-Minded.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Every election year around this time we get the Uber Patriots pushing for the passage of a Constitutional amendment preventing the desecration of the American flag. Because as everyone knows, if there is one thing the founding fathers expected, was for the Constitution to have an amendment added for such a trivial thing. Don't think it's trivial? Keep reading this and you'll see why if you support a flag burning amendment you're a total baby. Not to mention a rube, because the only reason why this thing gets brought up is for the politicians to play on your emotions during an election year.

The amusing thing is; the uber patriots I see every 4th are disrespectful of the flag in far worse ways that some hippy setting fire to it.

You want to show how damn patriotic you are, how about you start by educateing yourself and read the fuckin RULES OF THE FLAG!

Here is a page that covers the rules of the flag. You may not be able to handle all of them, (since it requires that you actually retain what you READ), but there are some pretty basic ideas even a drooling idiot like yourself can integrate into your swiss-cheese like brain.

Guess what, square head, the American flag on the paper plates, the napkins and the shirt you wear, as well as the sun bleached pink and blue sticker you have on your back windshield are all desecrations to the flag! The flag isn't a logo! It's The Flag! Eating your 4th of July wieners off of it, then wiping your filthy drooling mouth with the napkin and sweating your fat ass off on the shirt are NOT RESPECTFUL, they are soiling it!

Oh and the cheap plastic or cloth flag, are made in China! You clueless whelp! Yeah, they may say MADE IN AMERICA but that just means the cheap scrap of cloth was stapled to the stick here, all the components were made in the Middle Kingdom.

So, how is that dirty hippy burning the flag in protest showing it more respect than you are with your display of that Flag-themed tablecloth? Here are three reasons;

A: At least they are actually participating in their democratic society by staging a protest, something you probably can't be bothered to do.

B: By burning the flag, they are demonstrating what makes this country better than China, they get to express whatever the fucking opinion they want and not get shot for it. That means someone can demonstrate political ideals in ways that YOU don't like.

C: The proper way to dispose of a flag is to BURN IT! Did you properly dispose of all those "flags" you used on the last Fourth of July? Or are they buried under a ton of filth in the local landfill?

Finally, to my main point; What is your justification for wanting a flag burning amendment to the Constitution?

You say "Oh, I find it offensive!"

In other words; "It hurts my FEEEELIIINGS!"

You want some cheese with that whine?

Think about that! You want the government to be able to arrest people because they HURT YOUR FEELINGS! What are you, five years old?! What is with you people and wanting the government to shield you from anything that might make you cry, whether it's other people getting married, or Janet Jackson's tit on TV?

Stop being such an embarrassingly weak person! Stop shaming your countrymen with such juvenile emotional insecurity! You're living in a free country, show us that you deserve that privilege by acting like an adult who can pay the price for freedom with even a tiny bit of mental courage!

Grow up!

But if you're just incapable of having your political testicles drop, then this evening, when walking around, dribbling your Schlitz beer on your worn out red white and blue T-shirt, with the yellow stains under the arm, do us all a favor and please try to get as close to the fireworks as possible. Make like a moth, and go towards the pretty lights.

Don't let the safety fence stop you.