The Heirarchy of American Sports

Saturday, July 01, 2006

In America, we don't give a fat figgity f*ck what any other country considers to be the greatest sport. We form our opninions based on fact. When Hojo called all soccer fans idiots, it was because he was uninformed as far as the facts are concerned. Soccer fans are not merely idiots, but douchebags.

This is for Toyi so that she can understand a bit more of how sports in America are ranked as far as their entertainment value and why. No insult, my El Salvadorian blogmate. Just informing.

Sports are entertaining for two reasons. Great big tough athletes, and violence. The only rule that counters these is one I like to call The Ol' Canadian Number 5!!! No Canadians, or at the very least, minimal Canadians.

1. Football - Real men beating each other within inches of their lives. THE premiere athletes.

2. Basketball - Ganstas and Rapists who can run and jump like cheetahs on crystal meth. Sometimes they even hit each other.

3. Baseball - Drunks, gamblers, wife abusers. A fun bunch, but most are not up to the athletic endeavors of things like running or punching. Most of them fall over when making plays, or get hurt rounding the bases.

4. F*ckball - a.k.a. soccer, a.k.a. European Football (figures). A sport where grown men writhe in pain when tripped like a fourth grader. This is what all the kids who get cut from the previous three sports play when their moms refuse to let them take karate.

5. Hockey - Canadians. See the rules.

That's it. Now everyone can make informed statements regarding soccer idiots.

Murk

24 comments:

Toyi said...

"F*ckball - a.k.a. soccer"

oh I see still no fact all I see and read is your cry out loud. 1st thing you need to do to explain something professionally is dropp that stupid attitude. lol

You forgot Mixed Martial Arts.

Toyi said...

and you also forgot "Open dirty Mouth" isn't that your favorite sport?

I don't get it.

Toyi said...

oh I believe you do, aren't we supposed to make noise to get the attention from wow viewers?

Andy T. Nguyen said...

Viewers!?!?! What sort of TV talk is this!?!?! Go back to FOX!!!

Toyi said...

yeah, what is in front of you is a screen believe it or not. lol

Are you Malach disciple? you don't get it? lol

coughs coughs.. Okay let me rephrase it... for our readers...

Actually, this is an interesting topic. I wonder if there is a way to find out what the last annual advertising revenues were for all the U.S. sports.

Any ideas?

Toyi said...

^it will be interesting and as I keep my point from Malach Blog, its the media, no matter how loud Murk cries, its about the media, is not about soccer is not liked, is about media hypnosys... all that series and superbowl thing is just a piece of business. lol

I can't believe NASCAR didn't make the list. That HAS to be more popular than Hockey at this point.

NASCAR is currently the third or second most popular sport.

Where I disagree with Toyi. The media did not create the popularity of the NFL, the NFL did. Media latched on the popularity like it usually does. NFL harkens back to the gladiators, public executions, and bare knuckle brawling, which every human being secretly in their heart loves to see.

As for the open you dirty mouth, I would respond to it if I understoon the comment, just throwing and insult for the "veiwers" doesn't work on me, try Murk.

Christopher said...

It's not my fault soccer sucks donkey ass. You know why most other countries find soccer exciting? Because their governments stop oppressing people for a few weeks to watch the Worl Cup.

In short, it's better than the beatings.

Come on. Even little babies know that Football American Style is way more fun than soccer.

What's the matter? Do you love soccer? Would you marry soccer? Or is soccer your new Jesus?

Toyi said...

^ the dirty mouth comment was for Murk not for you Malach lol you know there is a fun regae song lyric that say (translating) "God danm the man who speak to a woman with a dirty mouth" lol

Nah.. Murk worst think you can do is assume that any baby will tell maybe here in America but check this out.. the world speak for itself

http://video.worldcupblog.org/videos/YeIlcyrkOEk/

http://video.worldcupblog.org/videos/clmEedcTqLs/

http://youtube.com/watch?v=gwfjQbpO5_8&search=WorldCupBlog

I love this one, when US is going to do something like this in a superbowl?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R4_HaeDrXXQ&search=brazil%20fans%20germany%202006

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ffH9MTIUOe4&search=brazil%20fans%20germany%202006

You know people start speaking their dirt when they are in feelings lol

Toyi said...

now going back to speak with unemos.. Angry Veteran... I will say that maybe one fact could be that a world cup is only 1 time every 4 years, maybe if there was something real going on more often, US will have a bit of more info about how the game works and stop thinking that soccer needs to be american football to be liked. One thing FIFA clashed with US reps was that US wanted to change soccer rules to hugh scoring reducing the field size and some other stuff that are crazy, once and for all American needs to stop thinking the world has to feel their tastes you now. FIFA said no to US requirements, the only thing that they took was that players could aproach to the corners for water in the middle of the game, before that drinking water was allowed only after 45 minutes of the 1st half.

Christopher said...

You're delusional.

Toyi said...

but I look better than you lol

Christopher said...

For a man, yes.

We also forgot golf, which, to us, it seems, is more exciting than soccer.

Golf and NASCAR - let's add them to the list.

Christopher said...

AV, the rules set down in writing the list preclude golf. No violence or raw athleticism. NASCAR is no more a sport than an extreme activity. There can be no mechanical aparatus in true sport. Plus, if a 45 year old man can be in the top 5 "athletes" in a sport, no dice.

Baseball barely adheres to this rule... 43 is the outer limit for the top 5...

This brings up the definitions of sports versus competitions. Sports have an objective scoring criterea (runs, scores, baskets, etc.) and competitions have a subjective scoring criterea (a judge or panel of judges).

So, technically, Golf and NASCAR are sports. Boxing is a hybrid, you can be objectively knocked out or subjectively scored out. But I think Boxing meets the Murk criterea in any case.

Which leads me to the sport I imagine Murk loves above all else: Chess Boxing. Yup, Google it. You'll see.

Toyi said...

Chess Boxing? o-0

Check it out, I posted a link to Chess Boxing on my blog about a week ago.

Toyi said...

^ All right but

well American football players run with an entire matress on their butt and chest.. don't they? they even use a grill on their faces... at the end they just bounce on the floor.

 
 
 
 
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