My Lifelong War Against The Bees & The Spiders

Friday, September 08, 2006

UGLY
STUPID
VIOLENT
DISRESPECTFUL
FOUL- MOUTHED
CREEPY-CRAWLEY
SICK - MINDED
MO'FO'S!

I don't know if these buggy little fuckers are working together or not, but I can tell you this much: I hate them and I have hated them with a phobia filled passion since I was a wee Cap'n lad back in good ol' 1970's.

I don't care if the bees make sweet, sweet honey or if the spiders eat a variety of other annoying bastard bugs.

I FUCKING HATE
THE BEES
AND
THE SPIDERS!!!!

AND

I WILL KILL THEM
AT ANY AND ALL
OPPORTUNITY
I AM GIVEN!!!!

I AM SERIOUS HERE, PEOPLE! THESE CREEPY LITTLE BASTARDS DESERVE TO DIE A HORRID DEATH!

Why? Because they show us no respect! They invade our homes, offices and even our cars. They hurt us and bite us and tease us and taunt us!

I mean, they're lower than even those stupid asshead mosquito mother fuckers. GOD! Those guys piss me off too!

I mean, WTF, MATE?

Once they are dead... having been killed by broom, chemical, fire, fist, frost or frippery... I like to leave their dead carcasess lying around AS A WARNING TO THE REST OF THEM.

If they fuck with The Cap'n, their gonna get the pipe... THE DEATH PIPE... uh, whatever that means.

So, bring it on, you multi-leg ugly fucksticks. Bring it down! Bring it down to Chinatown and I will eat your little insect hearts for breakfast!

I thank you for your time.

(this message brought to you by last night's bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz)