Ut Oh...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Looks like someone is pulling out the rule book again...

AP: It clearly states in the DMG that a critical hit with a Sword of Severing automatically removes a limb, while a vorpal blade decapitates the victim. Seeing as how a giant spider has no head, and you have a Vorpal Blade and NOT a Sword of Severing the effect is negated.

Malach: What's the use of having a Vorpal blade in a game where most creatures don't have clearly defined heads?

AP: That's not my problem.

Malach: Can't it at least remove a limb seeing as how it clearly supercedes the Sword of Severing?

AP: *sigh* Fine. If you want to ruin the integrity of the game then it removes a limb.

Malach: Which one?

AP: A leg.

Malach: Which one, though?

AP: The one in the rear. It has no effect.

Malach: How much damage did I do?

AP: You don't know.

Veteran: This is stupid. Our cleric is dead, none of my spells work and our theif's best weapon has no effect on this thing. So, did you just design this whole scenario so we could all die?

AP: Hey, I've already let you resurect Malach twice when he should have died.

Veteran: Kinda my point. We're all going to die.

Murk: I'm already dead, so don't look at me.

Malach: I dive for its head.

AP: Roll initiative.

Malach: A 1!!!! (note, 2nd edition rules. 1 is good)

Veteran: A 3!!!

Murk: I'm still dead, you want me to role?

AP: No. You both act last. The spider attack you, Veteran. How many hit points do you have left?

Veteran: 25.

AP: He hits. *chuckles*, oh... you're dead. Critical. 56 point of damage. You're a blood stain on a wall. Malach, make a save versus poison.

Malach: Yep. Got it.

AP: Okay... *rolls 4 sided dice* You're going to die in three rounds. This thing has 200 hit points left and there's no one left to cast cure poison. Seeing as how your death is inevitable, I suggest we call it a night. Great job guys. Great f*cking job. I worked for weeks on this and you guys just act like a bunch of clowns and blow the whole thing. That's the end of the campaign. I figured three 10th level characters could handle a little thing like the avatar of Lloth. Hey whatever. You guys just pretty much f*cked it up from the beginning anyways...

Veteran: Who was that phone call from earlier?

AP: What?

Veteran: Nothing. Just kinda convenient that we're all dead before 8 pm and you got a phone call from some chick.

AP: F*ck you pal. You guys died fair and square!

Malach: I made my save and still died.

Murk: I was impaled through the heart before we even rolled initiative.

Veteran: 56 points of damage is enough to kill a 20th level wizard. This is crap!

AP: Shut up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go right away.

Malach: Those are my books.

AP: *sighs* NO, ther are NOT. Mine have my name clearly written in the front of *opens the Player's Hanedbook*... okay this one is yours. This one is yours... these are all yours. Where the hell are my books? I have to leave now!

Veteran: Well, the campaign is over, everyone is dead. You won't need them for a while. Just come get them tomorrow after you go have sex with *name deleted*.

AP: F*ck you. F*ck all of you. I'm out.

Two minutes later, after the sounds of an angry phone conversation upstairs between AP and someone:

AP: *returning to his seat* Well... seeing as how a campaign where all the characters die in one encounter is, by rules clearly stated in the DMG, way unbalanced, we will revise what just occured and say that Malach's Vorpal Blade beheaded the Incarnation od the Spider Queen of the Drow... as ridiculous as that is.

Malach: Where's our treasure?

Veteran: She stood you up again because you were going to be late, eh?

AP: F*ck it guys, let's just play.


note: as of today, the administrators of the WoW reserve the right to delete any harrassing comments made by non members, especially anon comments. While some of us find this funny, including myself, there is a point to comment sections and that is for people with real identities to interact.

Now, I ain't saying you can't anon post, I ain't ain't even sayin you can't fake a celebrity and post, I'm just sayin you can't do it on this blog to harass other members repeatedly!!!