Where were you?

Monday, September 11, 2006

We all have moments in our lives that we shall never, and rightly shouldn't, forget. The Challenger accident, Regan getting shot, and, of course, September 11th.

So, instead of debating about what happened and the politics of the before, during and after... let's just all mark this somber anniversary by sharing where we were on that unique day of days.

I was in Norwalk, CT at a meeting with my old company, AimNet Solutions. Our meeting was supposed to be at Grand Central Station in downtown NYC, but on Monday they moved the meeting to the Executive Headquarters in Norwalk. I can't remember why the meeting was moved to CT. In fact, I'm not sure I ever knew exactly why it was moved.

Around 8:46AM, the time that AA 11 hit the first tower, I was on the phone with Jack Cooper, former CIO of Bristol Meyers Squibb, when he asked me to hold on for a moment. I heard from muffled conversations on the other end of the line. When he came back, he said that there were buildings on fire in Manhattan and that he had to go. Of course, I understood and ended the call, but honestly, at that moment, I assumed he was just blowing me off.

I got off the phone and muttered to myself "geez, Jack, if you didn't want to talk to me, you could have just said it."

But, then, from the next office over, I heard a colleague of mine say "oh... oh my god."

I walked into his office and saw an image on MSNBC that will stay with me forever. I saw a picture over a "breaking news story" of a gaping, flaming hole in the side of the World Trade Center. I was stunned, but my first thought of was of the WWII Bomber that had crashed into the side of the Empire State Building back in the 40's. I just assumed that this, too, was a terrible accident.

Not long after, we learned a second plane had hit the towers and... well, you can imagine how we all felt as the events unfolded before us.

To make matter worse, my in-laws were on an American Airlines flight departing from Logan International Airport in Boston, MA that every morning. As the day went on, I had no idea if they were alive or dead. Same went for my dear friends that lives in NYC. (Much later in the day, I learned that everyone was OK.)

However, that's what got me. The feeling of NOT knowing. Was this an attack? Was it not? If so, were their biological or radiological weapons in the planes? Were my friends and family in danger? Was I in danger? Was this going to get worse? Of couse it did end up getting worse as the Pentagon was hit and United 93 crashed in PA.

I remember feeling confused and helpless... yet excited and "keyed-up." I remember thinking about the movie Red Dawn and wondering if that was what was happening.

Once we learned about the attack on the Pentagon, I turned to my boss Erik and said "ok, let's get out of here NOW. We're going back to Massachusetts."

He agreed and we drove back to MA in his Audi at an average speed of, no kidding, 120MPH. There was NO ONE on the roads, which I remember creeping me out, and the Southbound lanes were full of emergency and militay vehicles speeding towards the city.

At one point, we saw a fighter jet fly over and I thought it was, without a doubt, war.

Fear. Excitment. Confusion. Tension. Over and over and over.

As he drover, we listened to the radio reports in total shock. I made many cell phone calls, but the lines were jammed.

I thought "this is it. World War III. My god, I can't believe this is happening."

We made it back to Massachusetts in record time and I ran inside to turn the television on. The images made me sick to my stomach and I found myself kicking into a very serious and tense mode of mental preparation.

I began to analyze what I had in terms of gasoline, food, water, weapons, etc. I was getting ready for an attack that was, essentially, already over.

5 years later, I still feel those same feelings of fear, excitment, confusion and, above all, total disbelief when I remember that sunny Tuesday morning in the early fall of 2001.

Not here. This could never happen here. Well, it did.

Now, all that is left to wonder is... when will it happen again?