Hump Day Jokes!!!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains."How much does it cost for engineer brain?""Three dollars an ounce.""How much does it cost for programmer brain?""Four dollars an ounce.""How much for lawyer brain?""$1,000 an ounce.""Why is lawyer brain so much more?""Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"

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Four women were driving across the country. Each one was from a different place: Idaho, Nebraska, California, and Mexico. Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window."What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan."We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!" A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window."What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from California. "We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!" Inspired by this, the gal from California opened the car door and pushed the Mexican out.

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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.""Very good, William," said the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther."Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him."I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" " It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."

~wicked love to all~