Hojo Debunks American Slang: "I Know, Right?"

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I speak English, which, sadly enough, is dying out thanks to blogs, online games, and MySpace. More people are using "1337" or "Blog" nowadays as their preferred language of communication. I believe I was invited to WoW because of my ability to write completely and coherently, and I will use this platform to destroy silly popular phrases.

The highlight of this Hojo Debunks American Slang is the phrase "I know, right?"
In 1337, it translates to "1 |<|\|0\/\/ |21g|-|t?!1!1!"
In Blog, that is "I KNOW RIGHT LOL"

Now that you know how to recognize it, here is why this phrase sucks: I used to only see this used by my northern internet friends, which is a lot of people, considering almost everything is "north" when compared to Louisiana. I just figured it was you crazy Yankees talking, and I should just let it be. I maintained my neutrality until I started hearing my friends use it at school. That's when I decided that this had to come to and end.

The Breakdown:
1. Let's start with "I know." Knowledge, according to Dictionary.com, is "acquaintance or familiarity gained by sight, experience, or report." That's easy enough. You can recall past experiences because you have knowledge, and knowledge is a basic part of humanity, and the ability to vocalize your knowledge puts you one run higher on the evolutionary ladder than animals. When you say "I know," it's pretty fair to say that it's believable, and the ability to say it does not make you special.

2. "Right?" This word is usually tacked on to the end of a sentence as an indication that you are requesting confirmation of an idea. Common uses:
"The grocery store is on this street, right?"
"I'm not going to get pregnant from this, right?"
"Malach isn't a creepy internet predator, right?"
Fun fact: The answer to all of the above questions is "no."

So, we have the use of "I know" and "right." They work very well apart, and are useful parts of any every day interaction. It's only after you juxtapose them that it becomes: "I know, right?"

Alright, lovestain, you know. I believe you when you say it, so you don't have to ask me to agree with the fact that you know. I don't see why you feel like I have to confirm that you can retain knowledge. Is that even possible? I can't prove that you do or do not know, so it's reasonable for me to just believe you so you can finish your story and I can hope for a moment's respite from a story which is probably not entertaining me anyway. You know, and you better damn well know you know.

We call this phrase "slang." We call those that use slang "dumb."