Pakistan lifts kite-flying ban
Cap'n Flak celebrates by irradically flying a 12' shark kite while wearing railroad overalls and an oversized multi-colored wig
LAHORE, Pakistan -- Authorities have lifted a ban on kite-flying in a Pakistan province after the sport was forbidden last year following a series of deaths caused by reinforced kite strings, an official told The WoW today.
The ban was lifted about a month ahead of Basant, an annual festival that heralds spring and is marked by flying colorful kites in the eastern province of Punjab and its capital, Lahore.
This year's festival will be celebrated on Feb. 25, said Salman Ghani, chairman of Punjab's planning and development department.
WoW contributor and internet celebrity, Captain Flak Paperpants stated to reporters that "my plans to visit Basant with my large collection of kites has been restored. I am extremely thrilled by the decision. Now, if you will excuse me, please, I need to go and find a steady supply of LSD and see if the band Chucklehead is planning on playing at this years fesitval."
During Basant last year, seven people were fatally slashed by glass-coated or metal-reinforced kite strings, prompting authorities to ban kite-flying. They arrested hundreds who defied the new regulation.
Ghani said that glass-coated or metal strings, typically used in advanced fighter kites, will be banned, and that authorities will issue licenses for selling kites and strings during this year's festival.
The ban will be re-imposed after the festival's final day celebrations, whenever Captain Paperpants departs the province or which ever comes sooner, he said.
Kites larger than 2 feet by 2 feet will not be allowed to prevent the use of heavy strings, Ghani said.
Offenders will face up to four years in jail, or a fine of 100,000 rupees ($1,800), he said.
What else makes Cap'n Flak happy?
- Guns. Lots of guns.
- Dr. Murk's tasty meat.
- This place. (especially in the Fall)
- Secret handshakes.
- 1993 to 1995.
- Strained bong water.
- Unusual Ritual Dances.
- Sex and ice cream.
- Art Deco. Yeah... art deco for real.
5 comments:
NO! NO! I DESERVE ALL THE ATTENTION! ME! ME! ME!!!!
He just wanted to say "Punjab."
What else else makes Captain happy?
Three times the cock in half the space.
Holy crap, glass reinforced kite strings?
BTW, Art Deco? You should have been with me and Murk at the Angry Veteran Wedding at the Rainbow Room in NYC.
Dude, I was there. I was in drag. Don't you remember talking to Candi?
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