The Bills Are Due

Friday, January 12, 2007

Newsboys - Boston MA

Leading U.S. economists report that the bills are now due. This revelation was quickly followed by the statement that "somebody gonna hafta pay them." Reaction on Wall Street was mixed. Many investors stood around, sort of making circles in the carpet with their feet while others averted their eyes.

"Apparently," Bud Schmock, lead analyst at Economic Guys said, "We have to pay for things. Phone. Electric. Heat. Water. Cable. Even Cell Phone. They want us to pay and they want us to pay soon."

Others were more optimistic. Gary Gnied, Captain of the Team Money Softball Team believes that "the bills will get paid. No need to worry. I get a paycheck this week and it should cover almost everything."

Newsboys does not share his optimism. It's so very cold in here.

'The Bills' were generated by companies that provided goods and services to many Americans last month and these 'Bills' are subtle messages to all of us that we owe these afore mentioned companies money for the goods and services they provided, as stated previously. We're not buying it.

We sent our crack team of Newsboys investigators to find out just what it is that we're paying for. A recent phone call from jail cleared up the haze of financial red tape, and Newsboys is now convinced that someone must have made a mistake. We would also like to insist that we already paid those bills and that the proverbial check is in the metaphorical mail, assholes. Aren't they supposed to stop calling after nine at night?

Anyways, we're pretty sure the bills are due and somebody needs to pay them. We just don't want to be the one footing the bill for this orgy of consumer irresponsibility that the rest of you have handed down to us. Am I still blinking?