Price check on the...uh...

Saturday, April 22, 2006

My mom was shopping at Goodwill (a non-profit thrift store, for those who have none locally) recently, and she came across the most horrific creation ever known to man. Even more terrifying than the fact that some sicko would think poor kids would want to play with this is that my mom actually paid money for it.

Yes, someone ripped the head off of a clown doll and created a new body for it out of yarn that smells like several cats with an addiction to cigarettes. If anyone ever needs an argument against genetic research, I want to be cited and linked directly.





If you look closely, you'll see that the hat is secured to the Face of Evil by a dissecting pin. Even scarier than a transplanted clown head is a hat bolted down to a transplanted clown head by a needle that has been inside countless dead or living creatures (probably clowns, given this person's track record). The maker was probably hoping to transmit tetanus to whichever deranged little kid begged their parents to buy this for them during a normal afternoon shopping trip.






Against my better judgment, I keep this thing where it can view me while I sleep. I have no problem waking up, though, because who the hell needs coffee when you wake up to see this...thing staring you down? Don't worry, though, I make sure to kiss it every night to appease the sick bastard that crafted this soulless stalker.