"Christmas is almost on us," said the teacher, "and tomorrow I want all of you boys and girls to bring something to illustrate what Christmas is all about."
Next day, each pupil had brought something along. Little Sally was first. "I've brought a toy reindeer," she said, "because Santa's sleigh is pulled by reindeer."Then came George, who had brought a piece of the deodar tree from his garden."This is what Christmas trees are made of," he explained. Little Bruce had brought some wrapping paper, and Marcie brought a picture of a turkey. All of which the teacher praised, but expressed the wish that someone had used a bit more initiative, and also concentrated more on the spiritual aspects of Christmas.
Inevitably, Little Johnnie at the back of the class had his hand up all the while, snapping his fingers, and hissing "Miss, Miss." And as a last desperate resort she calls on him."Okay, Little Johnnie," says teacher. "What have you brought."
Proudly, Little Johnnie produces a set of ladies panties, which he twirls around his finger, high above his head, for all of the class to see.
"What are THOSE?" demands Teacher, as if she didn't know. "They're girls' panties, Miss." "I can see that, Johnnie. But what have they got to do with Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
~*~*~
Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a god damn teddy bear laying right fucking here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then when I go downstairs I want to see a mother-fuckin' train going around the god damn tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?" Johnny replied, "I think I got a god damn dog but I can't find the son of a bitch."
~Merry X-Mas WoWeess ....FYI: Hump Day Jokes will return after the 1st of the year, I'm taking vacation!!!!~
2 comments:
Little Johnny Rocks. I wish Toyi and the Piper a son like that
LMAO ...now that would be a site!
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