Just What You All Have Been Waiting For...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Thanks for inviting me to contribute to this, folks. It's flattering deep down in my fat monkey heart. It also speaks to your wisdom and depth of kickasstasticness enough to recognize what drunken sack of chaos I am, and how that could add to your community blog.

Sooooo to tell you a little about me, my likes include unicorns, throwing water balloons at prostitutes, watching Magnum PI and rubbing one out, becoming excessively drunk and belligerant, posting fake Craigs List 'Missed Connections', porn, eating fried chicken; side note: OMFG in Minneapolis, there is this great bar that combines two of my greatest loves, with free fried chicken and hardcore potent drinks that caught me off guard the first time to where I became so shitfaced, I ended up falling into my friends shower, even though I wasn't even trying to take a shower.

My dislikes include, but are not limited to: people that smell bad, arbys, spiders, guys with popped collars, people who cannot hold their liquor, boring dumbasses that have nothing of substance to say, and bigotry directed towards pirates.

This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, and not the kind you see on cops when they come out to the trailer park and give some guy in a ketchup stained shirt a taser ride for beating his wife.

XOXOXOXO
~Tequila Mockingbird

9 comments:

Nice, this means the FTP uploads are back working, I wonder about the popes blog

Yes, my blog is back working, you gonna invite me here? Hoping?

Eric & Pug said...

Best shit ever, EVER ~C!

So, by this post your perfect mate is the Angry Piper, well that can be arranged.

The Angry Piper said...

Not likely. I remember the last time you tried to arrange my lovelife.

I wound up on a date with a Greek garbageman named Kostas who wore assless chaps.

Just like you.

Forrest Proper said...

Thank Gawd somebody is going to do something about Pirate Hatred. I became so upset about this that I stopped bathing and only ate at Arby's because they had "AAAARRRR!!!!" in their name.

Then my cholesterol hit 12,486 and my collar popped.

Eve said...

Watching porn while eating fried chicken is one of my favorite hobbies as well. Sorry you witnessed my the trailer park incident. I thought I was able to get that swept under the rug

Tainted~Love said...

Hello and welcome TM! ~wicked love~

Mockobird,

I am Dr. Robert J. Murk and it is tradition for me to welcome all new contributers with a hearty FUCK YOU!

Take no offese. It's tradition. Keep it coming.

 
 
 
 
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