Mitt Romney, the exclusive interview with the WoW.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Thurday 2/22/07; Gold Base, Gilman Hot Springs, CA, 3:42 AM .
The WoW caught up with presidential candidate Romney on the campaign trail in California. He agreed to do this exclusive interview for the WoW to show how he is perfect to lead this country.

The WoW (W): So Mitt, you want to be president, why?
Mitt (M): Mitt wants the presidency, yes Mitt does. He wants it so he can come in to each persons home every night and tuck them into bed, and provide a better United States for all of Mitt's subjects. Their eyes plead to Mitt.
W: How do you propose you accomplish that?
M: Well Mitt has ideas, brilliant ideas. Mitt thinks to him self, what is wrong with the world today? The War in Iraq, sure; our failing economy, hardly; global warming, hey I hate winter. No the one big problem Mitt sees in this world is the destuction of family. Between all the faggots, dead beat dads, and lack of polygamy in this country, our family structure has fallen apart, and this not only makes Mitt mad, it makes the all-mighty Xenu mad as well. Mitt must be the next GodKing!
W: What? Xenu? GodKing?
M: Mitt did not say Xenu, he said Mormontolgy Jesus-
W: No you did - -
M: Do not talk back to Mitt! I am not finished! So Mitt will solve the world's problems as follows. Anyone who is a faggot, an unmarried parent, or any man married to only one person will be immediatley executed, that will solve the problems of excess population, the poor, and homosexuality in one swoop. Can we fix it? YES MITT CAN!
W: So you plan on killing most of the population of the US?
M: Do not put words in Mitt's mouth, Mitt is not killing anyone, unless they can provide me an adaquate blodd supply, yes, Mitt needs blood, but no dirty fag blood.
W: What the -
M: Stop interrupting Mitt, blasphemer, and after I invade China, and and replace all the Chinese with good Mormontologist, the US will be buying Chinese goods from the US (at this point Romney breaks out is insane high pitched laughter which lasts about 2 minutes).
W: --- Um, your nuts.
M: Dez Nutz? Do you want Mitt's Nutz? I knew you were a fag, gaurds get him! They are so huge that they won't fit into a Hutt's Mouth! GUARDS!
W: Who are you talking too?
M: What are you talking about, Mitt is famous, Mitt interviews for Wand of Wonder! When Mitt President he will make it illegal for anyone but him to read Wand of Wonder now start dancing fagboy! Mitt President! Reading the Wand of Wonder! Beetles in Mitt's Eyes!
W: What is all this about Blood, China, Homosexuality? You have me confused!
M: No more confused that a fag gently pumping his lovers buttocks, slowly and pleasurably! 1 - 2 - 3 AND THURST! Oh yes, take that it Elroy Jetson! Mitt must have your Blood. (the high pitched laughing begins again). Fill the crevice with your mighty red juice of life! I need DEZ NUTZ! Mitt has seen the golden plates! Mitt has seen the inner circle! When the DC 8s come, only Mitt can save you!
W: Mitt, what about a womans right to choose?
M: What did you say? (Mitt becomes very red with rage, his face contorting into frightening contortions and just then 76 Plymouth Caravan Van appear, three men in gold jumpsuits jump out, grab Mitt and drive off). I am left with only this card.

I am Malach and I am scared!