Have a Realistic Valentine's Day

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Hallmark Day!

Pay $3 for a folded piece of thick paper with ink on it that costs literally cents to mass produce.

Pay an unreasonable amount for a plant that will die in a week that came free from the ground you walk on.

Buy the person in your life a mineral that is sold in minute quantities to keep demand and price up but is in huge reserves at the source.

Buy that special someone a liquid that is easily produced by the gallon for low costs but somehow increases exponentially in value when it is placed in a spray bottle that has someone's name on it. Bonus points if it contains foreign words or the names of foreigners on the box. The more expensive, the better it smells.

Do you smell it? It's the stench of capitalism.

Feed the greed. The media encourages you to give in to those romantic thoughts you think you've been having on this day. You haven't had a psychological seed planted into your subconscious by societal expectations at all. You really are above peer pressure. You don't need to fit in. Expensive gifts are necessary. Those really are your thoughts. You really do love him or her. You're perfectly happy. This is your day. Enjoy it. Enjoy it.

Happy Valentine's Day, o' ye sniveling slaves of the grind.