Five (More) Women The Angry Piper Would Totally Do The Sex With (Besides Toyita)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

In case you missed my September post, here's a link. I've been thinking about it since then, and I've come up with five more future candidates for post-traumatic stress disorder. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Lili Taylor: She made honorable mention last time (no doubt she's very proud of that), but I just saw Factotum and was reminded how incredibly hot she is, so she's officially on the list this time around. Only trouble is, she somewhat resembles Eve (but without the huge tits), and the thought of doing anything remotely sexual with Eve fills me with...icky.



2. Salma Hayek: Speaking of tits, I sure love this picture. I can't believe I forgot about her the first time around.

3. Amy Winehouse: To all the guys out there, I ask you: Could you just imagine?

4. Iron Chef Cat Cora: Oh, hell yes. And she's way sexier than Mario Batali.

5. P J Harvey: Probably the only woman Malach and I would fight over, like Kirk and Spock in "Amok Time", complete with dramatic music and sharp, pointy sticks. More than anyone else on either list, I FUCKING LOVE THIS WOMAN.

Those who know me may be shocked by the exclusion of any big girls. You may ask: is it possible The Angry Piper is changing his tastes? Fuck no. I'm still all about the big girls. But there are very few famous big girls, and fewer still that are attractive.

And don't worry, Toyi: you're still my rock & roll fantasy.

9 comments:

I will kill you before you get PJ, and we can both have sex with Eve very soon.

The Angry Piper said...

Oh, and lest I forget:

FUCK CELEBRITIES!!!!!

Eve said...

Piper, I have not been icky since the thrid grade.
If you are going to tell everyone that I have huge tits at least be accurate and say huge beautiful tits.
Last but not least....fuck you!

Malach - as always, your wish is my command.

Forrest Proper said...

Lili Taylor is awesomely hot, as is Salma Hayek.

Great series- we need a new post every month. Or sooner.

Hojo said...

I've been a long time fan of Salma Hayek's, yet I don't think I've seen even a single movie that she's been in.

FreeOscar said...

I really don't understand the PJ Harvey thing.

Toyi said...

wow that thirst of Chicks with guitars makes me nervious...

Cat Cora. Fuck me feed me.

Anonymous said...

I'm with CRag. PJ looks like a crack head who needs to shower.

WTF about her gives men hard-ons?

And does Salma have one boob that is bigger than the other????

 
 
 
 
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