What the Hell is Red Sox Nation

Monday, April 23, 2007

As promised.
It is hard to explain Red Sox fanaticism to someone out of the area. Yes, their are fanatical fans out there, some of them come to mind: The Fans of the Raiders, the Fans of the Red Skins, any fan of a Philedelphia team . . . but being a member of Red Sox Nation is something different.

I am trying to get is classified as a mental illness. Red Sox fans are so fanatical, that is all they ever talk about . . . Football season, basketball, hockey, it is all about the Red Sox. You live and die with every games, every inning, every pitch. Game one has as much importance as game 7 of the World Series. If they lose your depressed, if they win, your higher than a kite. Red Sox fans have this fatalistic attitude (even with the 2004 win), and take each win and lose to an extreme. You want to hear it? Go to WEEI.com and listen live to the callers and show hosts, they are all insane.

How did this happen? Why just this team? Boston is a Baseball town. The Red Sox are the oldest team in New England, they won the world series 5 times since their 1901 inception and 4 times between 1912 and 1918, including back to back in '15 and '16. Red Sox Nation was on top of the world . . and then the whole Babe Ruth incident happened. The rest they say is history. Not only did they not win a title until the 2004 season, they lost it is improbable ways. Johnny Pesky's throw in 1946, in 1967 you had perhaps one of the best baseball teams in history, only to lose, the Bucky f'n Dent, Billy f'n Buckner, one strike away in 1986, and Aaron f'n Boone. When not getting a shot at the series, they continually finished second to the Yankees.

We have developed this complex . . it is Bi-Polar and psychotic in nature. It can be scary, sad, and funny.

How do you know you are a member of Red Sox Nation? If you answer yes to anyone of these questions below, seek some professional help.

1. Do you wonder what Terry Francona will do with with his long reliever during the middle of a Patriots Super Bowl?
2. Have you ever contemplated taking your own life after a heartbreaking loss in the first two months of the season?
3. Do you find yourself yelling at the TV, more specifically Red Sox managers?
4. Do you expect the Red Sox to lose every game once they go down by one run?
5. Do you skip appointments and miss family reunions to watch the game?
6. Do you juggle your schedule around the game?
7. Is Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond you favorite song?
8. Do you chant "Yankees Suck" when they actually don't suck? At other sporting events including little league? At concerts? Out your car window?
9. Is Fever Pitch your favorite movie? Or does the movie describe you life?
10. Do you take out a mortgage to renew your season tickets?

We are a little better now since the comeback against the Yankees and the big win in 2004. But that is starting to fade . . . please help us.

Ding Dong Drunkies Dead.
Boris Yeltsin . . . he kept Smirnoff in business during those lean years. RIP my Russian Pookie Bear.

I am Malach and I miss Yuri Andropov.