For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!"
*~*~*~*
"Hey, Mom," asked Johnny "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not." "If you do," he went on,
"I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
"Well? What did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.' "
*~*~*~*
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
~wicked love ya'll~
8 comments:
I missed last weeks jokes . . .
Awww I didn't even think anyone would notice! *smiles* Thanks Malach! ~smooches~
OMG eh eh eh eh
Jesus Christ walks into a bar.
He throws three nails down on the bar and turns to ask the bartender a question.
"Can you put me up for the night?"
Judas is funny . . .
uhmm I have heard better!
With all due respect, it is spelled "y'all." I reject my Southern heritage and avoid using my area's vernacular, but "y'all" is a word I still keep in my vocabulary.
Thanks Hojo for making that clear! *smiles*
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