A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.
As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road. "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."
The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
~*~*~*~*~*~
The Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when they're attacked by cannibals. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes. Tough luck, eh? But you can choose the way you're gonna die.
The Englishman goes, "May I have a revolver?" When he ges it, he blows his brains out, saying, "God save the queen!"
The French guy says, "I vill take ze poison." He gulps it down and says, "Vive le France!" and dies.
The American says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief hands him one, and the guy pokes himself all over his skin with it, and shouts, "That's what I think of your fucking canoe!"
~*~*~*~*~*~
A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe." The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it's urgent! I'll do anything to get a message to her."
The clerk replies "Anything?"
"Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.
He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him and unzip his pants." She does.
"Take it out", says the clerk." She does this as well. S
he looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead and do it..."
She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"
~LMAO ...hello mom ...hehehe ...wicked love yall~
2 comments:
Wow, all three joke reminded me of work.
Is that a bad thing? ~giggles~
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