Horrible poetry that needs editing.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Because I was bored.

-Acedia-

She caresses my face and whispers,
"Take a rest, you've been working so hard!"
I know i have done nothing
I know I have tons to do
Yet I believe her lies
And let her seduce me

We lie together in bed
She gives me ecstasy
Which I know is the source of my ugly misery
She kisses my body
And it thirsts for more
But my minds screams for release

She dances me though failure after failure
I want nothing more but to let her go
But in this unholy matrimony, there is no divorce
The heavy ball and chain holds me down.
She laughs at my efforts,
"I love you too" she says and kisses me

"O Devil! I make you a deal!
Rid me of this harlot and take my soul!"
"Foolish child! Don't you know?
The devil won't deal against the devil's own"
With those words he laughs and leaves
And I laugh as she emerges from the shadows and kisses me to ruin.

Needs work on the meter, several lines could be made better and some words could use replacement.
Help?

4 comments:

Wow, erotic tales from India!

It would be perfect on Tainted Love's Erotic Stories.

I'm Barack Obama and I approved this message.

YPG said...

Haha, when I showed it to my friends and asked them what they thought about it, most of them told me "It's obviously about how you want to get laid."

On pointing out the title and telling them it's actually about how being lazy is ruining my life, pat came the reply "No, it's obviously about how you want to get laid."

 
 
 
 
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