Geordi LaForge: ADVENTURE!!! 3

Monday, August 18, 2008

Geordi couldn't sleep. He got out of bed and looked at the stars through Picard's bedroom window. Shame and guilt washed over him.

"Star light," he whispered, "Star bright. First star I see tonight."

"Geordi, come back to bed," Picard mumbled.

"Wish I may, wish I might," he sang.

"Do what the captain says, assmeat," Riker said, smoking a cigarette from the kitchen table. Geordi sighed. The slap of the phaser set to stun hit him like a Klingon prison movie. Riker leaned in, "You want me to taze you again, you pink boa wearing bitch? If it weren't for the Captain's ridiculous infatuation with you, I swear I'd fuck goat milk out of you."

Geordi held still as Riker pulled him close in a ball and started humming. Once Riker was asleep Geordi slipped away from him and said, "Have the wish I wish tonight."

Q appeared, "Hello, LaForge." Q said.

"What?" Geordi said.

"Lights," Q said, and the lights came on. "Don't worry about your precious crew mates, LaForge. I gave them... nyQuil!!!!"

"Wow!" Geordi breathed.

"Yes. I'm quite clever, but I don't like any of you," Q said.

"Is it true that you can do whatever you want?" Geordi asked.

"Listen, milk dud," Q said, "You don't question the Q Continuum. Don't. Just just. Gah. NO! No I can't, okay. I can't do anything I want."

"Seriously?" Geordi said, "That's not what I was told."

"You hear a lot, LaForge," Q said, "But now I must tell you something that may drive you insane. For all of my glorious mind bending powers, I can't check a simple warp drive."

Geordi's heart jumped. He told himself to play it cool, look like nothing just transpired. "Well," Geordi said, "I'm kinda handy at checking a warp drive..."

"Are you?" Q asked, smiling. "But how often do you check it?"

"At least once every fifteen seconds," Geordi said.

"I... am..." Q searched for the precise word, "Impressed. Come. Come work for me."

"Do you mean it?" Geordi screamed with glee.

"I do," Q said, "With one small hitch." Geordi frowned. There was always a hitch. "Kiss me," Q said, "Kiss me and the world of ward drive checking can be yours. Do it not, and you can go back to bed with your Captain."

The drew close. LaForge braced for impact.

The crew watched on in amazement. Geordi wished he was dead.

"So, dreaming about having sex with the Captain, AND Q," Riker said. "Ha. I knew you were a sausage salesman."

"Oh! Oh!" Picard said laughing, "This new 'dreamwatching' technology is priceless."

"Hey," Geordi protested, "I can't control my dreams."

"Rewind the kiss," Picard said, "Rewind it. Engage!" Geordi had suffered through the last three hours watching his dream in front of everybody. But, he laughed a little titter. The screen went dark.

There was an image of Deanna Troy. Then, an image of Geordi appeared behind her with scissors. The stabbing was vicious, and then he cut all her hair with the bloody implement, to boot. Everyone stopped laughing.

"Geordi," Troy whimpered after the shocking images. Geordi laughed.

"LOOKS LIKE I CHECKED OUT HER FUCKING WARP DRIVE, EH RIKER????" He screamed. "Has she found out about that E.D.? HUH? DICK SUCK WAAAAHHH BEETLES!"

"Mister Worf," Picard shouted, "Detain Mr. LaForge!"

"Not now," Warf said, "I have a headache."

To be continued....