The Three Wise Men

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Long ago in the far off land of Persia, there lived three Magi. Their names were Murkior, Malachi and Piperzar. One night, they saw a huge supernova and went off in search of a cute little baby named Jesus. They knew that supernovae and Jesuses were related because they were freaking Magi.

They gathered the most precious gifts they could find: Grog, Nog and Pipes. Oh, how joyous they were to set out across the inhospitable and snowy desolation of the desert. They traveled for six days and met angels and shepards. They also met a friendly snowman named Frostalot Bon San Klaus, who was dressed all in red and gold. He too was in search of the Jesus predicted by the supernova.

Along the way, they killed Hobbs Von Wackamole and made fun of Captain Flak Paperpants. They even got drunk with J*sse D*b*c from *ttleboro. They were so joyous and happy that John the Baptist gave them a secret potion to make demons run away.

Suddenly, they were attacked by Ninjas from the East who sought to steal the potion to release their master, J-Kwon Doe. A fight ensued. Malachi turned their skeletons into liquid metal. Murkior tipped his hat and made them vanish. Piperzar had eighteen attacks with his nunchucks and dispatched their souls to the hell of upside-down tart f*ckers.

Finally, they came upon the North Pole and found a manger with a cool virgin and a kick ass one eyed sailor named Joseph. There was much rejoicing.

But what of the baby king named Jesus who was to be raised by wolves?

Find out January 6th when the Murk and Malach Show, featuring the Anrgy Piper presents "A Very Dry Christmas".

Translation: I have pneumonia and the Christmas special will be a week late. Nite.

Murk