Sometimes having a palatial mansion sucks.
What? What's that? You don't want to hear about my fabulous 4 day hiatus from WoW, the Sites, Podcasts and everything the f*ck else in my life? You wish I wouldn't get all Angry Piper and put my personal life out on display like anyone cares whate color my underwear is???
You just sit right there and take what's coming to you, mister/missy. I've been providing your lazy ass with entertainment for countless weeks, you give me one hot second here... plus, my law family is very funny.
The Characters:
Law Mother: No, not the original Momma Murk, this is the Mother of the Mrs. She's at the heart of this tale. She likes to throw parties to get gifts AND she loves to freak out and kill people while planning them.
Ernie: This is the lovable Murk Law Brother who married in by mistake and can't get out. So far Law Mother has killed 15 Ernies and we keep having the Diry Tleilaxu make gholas of him to replace the dead and broken ones at her feet.
Law Kids: Just a rabble of kids not realated by blood. Two of them, Shout and Pout, are son and daughter of the Ernie Series of gholas.
Law Sister T: Mother of Shout and Pout. Usually on the side of Law Mother and laughs after everything anyone says or does, no matter how inappropriate the situation (like in CHURCH!).
Law Sister M: Young. Unmarried. Complete lushy. I have the numbers. Email for further details and payment instruction.
Mrs. Dr. Murk: My usually loveable and jovial wife, recently driven insane by Law Mother, Law Sisters and Law Kids. I now sleep on the roof.
Law Father: He doesn't do much except quote himself and remind us of the length that people should go to for their family.
Okay, the stage is set. We begin on a gentle morning in June when Mrs. says to Murk, that old cad, that Ernie and Law T are coming up this summer for Law Brother ASSHOLE'S wedding party... what? I never intruduced him? Sorry.
Law Brother T: Whiny, arrogant little bitch boy who's pleasures include making everyone else miserable, pointing out obvious flaws, critiquing the dumbest things, never shutting up, and easting sh*t with Heinz Ketchup on it.
So, there's a wedding to the New Law Sister. Don't worry about her. She's like 12 and doesn't speak a word of English and thinks Law Borther T is Donald Trump's nephew. Everyone in Law Family Town is going to be showing up and Law mother has graciously offered to put them up at the Palatial Murk Estates... without asking. So Murk, that's me, all ten hot inches of me, finds this out about two months ago. Now Ernie and Sissy T have two Law Kids, Shout and Pout, mentioned above. They are so named due to their best traits. One shouts and one pouts. Oh, and they both still sh*t themselves. I know little kids and old people do it, but I don't want to see it, hear it smell it touch it taste it or have it anywhere near food or my pool.
They're coming, I'm told. Oh joy! What a fate that I should spend my idle summer days picking poo out of my salad and listening to the daily hysterics of Law Mother planning the ultimate money grab of a wedding at her own house without the help of caterers. Bu, who will do the work???
Hmmmm. Perhaps the Law Sisters and Ernie and Dr. Murk would be so kind as to slave away all the days between now and then in the fruitless endeavor of pleasing a woman who loves her own arse more than she loves any other human being on the plannet and she cannot be pleased unless everyone is working working working working...
Anyways, so this Monday starts with a phone call. Ernie, that swell guy, is coming up early. To stay with me! How thoughtful! Eh. He's okay. Fine. Maybe I can put him to work fixing up the guest house.
Naw. See, Ernie's got a bad back and people having been taking dumps on this guy since he was like 16 and he's tired and about to have his F*CKING SKULL mashed in by Law Mother because... he's the new whipping boy. I feel pity and just try to keep him amused.
The Sword od Damocles continues to dangle, but it turns out that Shout and Pout don't do much shouting and pouting at the Palatial Mansion. Who can blame them? No one is yelling at them, spitting in their cereal or using them as paws in some ancient psychological war at my place. So, Ernie and I make it to Thursday and then get D-RUNK. The 'D' is seperate because you'll have to pay for the details.
As we wallow in our own filth after an 8 hour bender, we receive what seems to be an innocous message around 10 p.m. "You will pay! Love, Law Mother."
Now Ernie's done hard labor and so have I and setting up tents and chairs and crap on a mild weekend isn't something to worry us. We thinkwe're safe. We slur our drunken good nights and prepare for the morrow.
What ensues over the next three days is a combination of events. There's a wedding wrapped in a titanic Ernie Killing Spree (he took down a few of Law Mother's Fish Speaker guards before she rolled on him), covered in threats and inuendo, and with me, innocent Dr. of Love, as the impromptu replacement for the now freshly deceased Ernie, may God free him from this place so that he can be little again. So I get whipped and whipped and whipped. And all the Law Sisters and Law Family have at me verbally for a day and a half... wait. Let me explain the technique.
The Captain can tell you some sweet moves his family has for passive agreesive behavior, but how is this: They tell each other secret things that someone just said about someone else until that person finds out and then they amplify it by adding detail after lurid detail until you blurt something like: "Yeah, well she was going to flip out on someone. Why not me? I could give a flying f*ck." Unfortunately, sometimes you're overheard.
I was overheard. To shield me from Law Mother, bless their souls, and to allow me to cool down, I am taken away by Law Father for a fatherly advice drive and to go clean out the most mold covered fridge in five counties. This is tradition, and they always know where the next moldy fridge is.
What did I do to earn all this? I went to work after helping to set everything up. I have no clue why, but this offended Law Mother.
And so, I was washing this dirty, smelly moldy fridge, when it hit me... I had been away from my real wor (you tarts) for days. I became sad.
Then, I went to bed.
Then the yelling started in earnest. The new Ernie in Law had arrived and Law Mother was busily explaining the intricate set of rules that sons in law of the Mother must obey. He freaked out and ran off with Shouty, Pouty and Sissy T. Law Brother T. was squirting Heinz on everything and asking, "How come this remote doesn't work? It worked last night. I think Murk sat on it. He's fat. I don't like that smell. Who has a dragon I can eat? I want beets. You people are ugly." And... I was 3 hours late.
Luckily, my punishment was mild. I got stuck tending the bar at the wedding. Of course, I had to maintain a delicate balance of appreciating Law Mother's generous liquor offering while not becoming visibly intoxicated, but I've developed a strong immunity to alcohol that is legendary in East Asia.
Then it got weird. I mad everyone's drink a reversi. That's when you mix the whatever they ask for in reverse proportion so that there's a shot of mixer thrown in with their glass of alcohol. People were in a bad way quite quickly, and even Law Mother had a little shine on. Ernie in Law was telling drunken Army stories and before I knew it, the sun had set, and I was being driven home by Mrs with a trunk full of booze and apparently a new level of respect from the neighbors, so to speak. I had bartended my way to freedom.
So, in the aftermath, after cleaning, after nap and so on, I have found that Law Mother has laid one of her particularly cruel punishments on me, just as I thought I was clear...
Everyone had such a good time that she's planning to do it all again for Christmas, with me as the star of the show.
I have Tequilla, Rum or Scotch. Which should I drug and use to kill myself?
How The Hell Did I Survive?
The good ol' cartoons
Mickey Mouse
Amongst the charecters which became a house hold name for the disney industry,
none of them are morefamous than the half naked, yellow sneaker wearing mouse,
Mickey. His features hasevolved over the years and now he looks more like a
dashing young weirdo than the weird bug he used to be.
Personally I like Donald Duck better.
o_O
Infact the same could be said for any of the classic cartoon charecters. Bugs bunny, tom and jerry,
and the rest of the whole jingbang
Anyway the point is that no matter how many "awsome" animes come and go
and no matter how many pathetic 'power rangers' series continue to capture
uneducated todlers, there are always the classics which even my parents like
to watch from time to time.
And they abhor cartoons.
Down you just love the classics?
Stupid Domain Names
These are all real websites where the domain names weren't thought out too well.
1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is: http://www.whorepresents.com/.
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can Exchange advice
and views at http://www.expertsexchange.com/.
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than PenIsland at: http://www.penisland.net/.
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at: http://www.therapistfinder.com/.
5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company -http://www.powergenitalia.com/ ...
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: molestationnursery.com/.
7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
http://www.ipanywhere.com/.
8. Welcome to the FirstCummingMethodistChurch. Their website is:
http://www.cummingfirst.com/
9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and Their whacky website:/www.speedofart.com/.
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at http://www.gotahoe.com/ ..
Behave
Or else!
Malach will be gone until Sunday. Behave.
I am Malach and I will miss my WoWees
Advertising goes too far...
...and McDonalds is poisoning the world. This is indeed a strange and disturbing universe, and this picture says it all. Should we start feeding chemically laden Big Mac's to babies now. Blend them up and bottle feed them.
Why not just perfect the chemical lunch and just inject babies with it. Why not put them in little pods and just pump in basic nutrients, feed their brains information, and use them for the electricity they put off. 
The Week That Was at WoW!
Evil Malach
Some of you may be familiar with Drunken Comic Reviews. Murk and I were members of this blog. It started in March, as an invitation only blog for well known comic/webcomic creators (the list was impressive). the basic premise was to rip apart the comics/webcomic world. It got a lot of attention, both good and bad, and a ton of hits, and was a secret darling of the comics/webcomic community. You should have seen who posted comments there, everyone from Eric Burns to Jim Lee. At one point, the founder, Matt Black, basically was sick of the whole bitch fest (had a classic Cap'n Spacegraemeflaksquarepantfarmer Midol Moment), fired most of the crew, and the posting there went down to a trickle. Except for an occasional post, the action there died down from Mid May to Present. The site was still getting 250 - 300 hits per week, but not the 700+ daily it was getting.
So, Mr. Black in another Spacecaptaingraemefarmerpantaloon's moment, deleted the whole blog. Well, Malach jumped right on that bitch. Check what happens now if you go to it. So now all the links, all the search hits, etc, go here. So here's what I propose. Continue writing good articles, and plug your stuff. Now I don't want this tunred into a splog. But, for example if you were doing something about Jesus and his "marriage" you could link it to JesusMan! .
The Week That Was
8/9/06
Who always needs to have the last word?
Hump Day Jokes!!
Star Fuggin' Power
The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus
The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.
Skittles + More Random Junk.
8/8/06
i just insulted my gynecologist
Contest: Pitch your movie to the Hollywood studio executive
Yes, my friends...
How life Works.
8/7/06
Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!
JesusMan!
The American Boss (REDUX)
Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag
EYE HEART MACRO SOFTS VIZ TAH BEACH RE COG NATION
Well, Well . ..
8/6/06
A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk
Welcome to Otis Serungis
8/5/06
400 Goes To Me!
Do you people want Action
8/4/06
The Death Tax... again...
That's right, baby, it's all going down TONIGHT.
8/3/06
Friday Night Fight
Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz
Ultimate Spider-Man
Categories
Psychology/Philosophy
Who always needs to have the last word?
The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus
How life Works.
Entertainment
Hump Day Jokes!!
Star Fuggin' Power
Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag
Well, Well . ..
Ultimate Spider-Man
Sports
The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.
Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz
Drugs/Alcohol
Skittles + More Random Junk.
Plugs/Ads
Yes, my friends...
Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!
JesusMan!
The Workplace
The American Boss (REDUX)
Technology
EYE HEART MACRO SOFTS VIZ TAH BEACH RE COG NATION
Gettin' Crass in Southern MA., Murk vs. the Cap'n
A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk
That's right, baby, it's all going down TONIGHT. Friday Night Fight
Administration
Welcome to Otis Serungis
400 Goes To Me!
Babbling
Do you people want Action
Government/Politics
The Death Tax... again...
I am evil Malach.
Who always needs to have the last word?
Do you know someone like that?
Is that person looking at you right now?
In the mirror?
Hump Day Jokes!!
Rednecks:
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different.
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."
Rectum Stretcher:
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ..."
Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless
Star Fuggin' Power
Check this list out.
This list is the top 100 actors/actress who have earned Hollywood the most money. Basically this takes all the movies they have been in, what those movies have earned and who was in the movies crossreferenced. For example Tom Cruise is 6th on the list, he has been in 31 movies which have earned just over $3 billon. I am reprinting the top 5 for you below.
1 Frank Welker; 89 movies; $4,700,019,333 total box office; $52,809,206 average box office.
2 Samuel L. Jackson; 67; $3,834,781,567, $57,235,546
3 Tom Hanks; 36; $3,330,300,015; $92,508,334
4 Harrison Ford; 34; $3,304,872,666; $97,202,137
5 James Earl Jones; 45; $3,135,775,614; $69,683,903
And who leads this crew? Frank Fuggin' Welker. Now some of you are asking me, "Malach who the Hell is Frank Welker?". Well Welker is most famous as Fred Jones, the intrepid leader of Mystery Inc, of Scooby Doo Fame. He has played Fred in just about every appearance since 1969. He has also played Scooby Doo, since the original voice of Scooby died in 1997 (except for a couple of really bad straight to video scooby episodes). He has done voice work in so much stuff, it is mind boggling. The Jetsons, Megatron and several other Transformers (and supposedly in the new movie), Futurama, Family Guy, The Star Trek Movies (he was Spock's Scream in ST:III), Aladdin and a plethora of other Disney Movies, Spawn, Species, Stargate, Video Games, and alomost every animated feature on TV today; he is credited with "special voice effects" in so many movies it is incredible. He beats Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Julie Roberts, even the voice of Darth Vader.
So if you want you film to make money, hire Frank Welker. $5 billion!
I am Malach, and Hey gang a clue!
The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus
So, if a man builds a castle out of shit, should he be proud of it?
If a man is buried in shit up to his waist, should he bury himself further to get a better grip on what's going on in the shit?
If a man climbs to the top of a pile of shit faster than other men around him, he'll still be covered in shit, right?
If running a marathon through ankle deep shit meant finally being able to lay down to rest on a soft piece of shit when done, is it worth it?
If I lived in a house built of shit, would people laugh when I complained about the smell?
A man who sees shit all day dreams of shit at night.
If you loan shit at shitty rates you get shit for interest payments.
If it's shit at work, shit at home or shit on vacation, it's still shit.
The material world is filled with shit. The fact that we keep trying to control shit says it all. No wonder we're unhappy. We're shit pushers.
The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.
So, I like to listen to WEEI.
Being a fan of New England sports, I listen to WEEI pretty consistently. Listen to it's streaming for a bit and see who nutty we are, especially the members of Red Sox nation. It is interesting though. Something interesting has occured in the post World Series Champion Red Sox Nation and I have discussed it before . . . Red Sox fans are more content since 2004. We no longer jump off bridges when they lose. We don't live every game like a playoff game. Even Red Sox-Yankees are not what they used to be. The Sox have been sub .500 since the All Star break and it is funny to listen to the idiots on EEI drag out the doom and gloom from the past 35 year "Curse of the Bambino" era. And no one really cares. Why? We can see the future of this team. This team is being built like the Bellichick era Patriots team, built to compete for the long term, and for a long time.
Honestly I am not angry they did not make a blockbuster trade before the trade deadline. I am happy they did not trade away their future for a year of Andruw Jones or Roy Oswalt. If you look at their team, the lose a lot of salary in the next couple of years. This is going to be a team that will win another World Series and soon . . . this team might be the Yankess of the late 90's.
Wow, some people are excited to be visited by Fat Bug.
Check out the main page of Sarah Zero and scroll down. The next Fat Bug is going to be interesting and strange, very different than the typical Fat Bug, but similar.
So I am not dead yet . . .
I have not had any suicide bombers at my door yet. I am still getting links from here, anyone read Urdu?
TOM Podcasts
I made some adjustments at TOM. There is a now a podcasts page, from there your can link to the new Murk and Malach Show page and The Third Option Podcast page. I enjoyed the Third Option Podcast.
So (BLEEP)ing Good
I am Malach and give me your shoes.
Skittles + More Random Junk.
Ok. Here is what I think about Skittles. No not the lovable candy.
I am talking about the Coricidin: Cough & Cold medicine.
Now granted it may be able to cure your Cough or Cold flu that you have going around at the moment, but you can also use it as a drug to get high. Coricidin: Cough & Cold consist of alot of DMX. DMX consist of the drug that uses to confuse your brain, which also makes you high. Normally you would take one or two of these pills at a time to cure your cold. But, if you take eight or more.. depending on your drug experience, you will get high. First times at this should take eight.
When you get more experence with them, move up to ten, then twelve, then sixteen, then twentyfour, then thirtytwo. I have took eight two times. I have been high both times. I threw up both times. If you are a beginner and you take about sixteen or more on your first time, you will prolly overdose and die. That is how it works. I have friends who are drug experts and shit. They can take upto thirtytwo and not overdose. A "high" off Skittles can last you from four hours intill three days. You can also experience a short of time where you dont feel like you are high, but it will come back in a couple of hour's.
Kebert Xela Saying Alex Trebek's name backward's is the only way to send him back to where he belong's... The fifth demenison.
How The hell... Does it take three licks to get to the center of a tootie pop? ..Damn red neck creation.
Contest: Pitch your movie to the Hollywood studio executive
The contest: in the comments section, give the title of your new movie and make a pitch to the executive be describing it as "movie meets movie." Extra points for hilarity. Winner declared by fiat next week.
Yes, my friends...
After a long recovery, I finally had the strength to put up
THE THIRD OPTION PODCAST THROWDOWN!!!!
In my weakness, I was only able to make a temporary page, but Malach will fix everything up nice and neat while I'm in physical therapy.
If you're too lazy to go to the page itself, right click and save as your file of choice:
mp3 rm
It's about an hour long. Listen to the whole thing. There are messages for all of you...
How life Works.
According to Choas_Dragoon.
Many of you know I congregate a forum with the Dragoon. Many of you know I run an very popular advice column called Dear Malach (yeah have fun with that 1125 pages long, 17,000 posts). Well, Choas today at this forum stated his chain of life . . . it is as follows:
This is the Chain:
Malach(>)Murk(<)Choas(>)Spacefarmer
So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
I am Malach an Apex Predator (man I love Shark Week)
Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!
Over at Angrypiper.com, a huge update has just occurred. No longer will you see this page. Now there are zero dead links.I'm working on a new layout for the site but I'm having minor technical problems, meaning I don't like the way it looks so far. Until I do, the old layout stays.
My Blog will be moving very soon. Don't fret; you'll have plenty of warning. In fact, consider this your first one.
In the Book Reviews Section, the current selection is still Mickey Spillane. Look for an update within the next few days or so, I've been busy with all the other stuff lately.
The first of several planned Bagpiping articles has gone up: Bagpipes 101, a primer on the anatomy and physiology of the Great Highland Bagpipe. Everything you probably never cared to know about bagpipes, so you never asked. With pictures.
And at long last, the Anger is back. Submitted for your perusal is not one, not two, but three complete and new Angry Rants, plus one on deck (to be published soon).
If, after that, you still haven't got your fill of anger and if you haven't done so already, check out what Dr. Mantodea has to say over at Hill-TV. The mantis loves to remind you how stupid you are.
JesusMan!
DOODOODOO!
Latest episode of JesusMan! is now loaded. JesusMan! begin's a new chapter in his life, The Death of JesusMan!. Plot twist in this one, and as foreshadow here first at WoW, the Christ Closet and the Jesus Sheild.
Enjoy.
I am Malach and I am King of Pakistan!
The American Boss (REDUX)
(reprinted with permission from The Old 3rd Movement Rant & Reckon Blog)
The American Boss
by: J. Graeme
I'm going to shamelessly complain for a while. I think I’ve earned the right. Maybe you have too? Read on and find out.
Due to the potential for public embarrassment and prosecution, sexual harassment, as it was known in its heyday, is on the decline… rapidly. In its place we have seen the rise of a new demented typical American Boss. He’s ugly. He’s mean. He’s aggressive. He’s everywhere. He is the abuser you have come to know and love.
I have already had several of these bosses in my 10+ years of being out in the formal workplace. Oh, lucky me!
The first master of mistreatment took the form of a gruff old shipyard worker turned bastard-ass college facilities department painter. He liked to yell and scream and make up excuses for why he couldn’t read. He is only boss I have ever had that I actually thought he might physically abuse me. He didn’t. He chose… wisely. Instead, he took out his excess aggression on his god-knows-how-old partner in crime. That poor bastard ended up with heart disease, cancer and a colostomy bag. He’s probably dead by now. The nice thing was that this particular boss and his little crony had furnished their houses with items and money all stolen from the college itself. Nice touch.
The second evil boss was a world-class jerk stuck in the recesses of his failing ego and sexual deprivation. Terrifyingly enough, people actually trusted him with their money. He got off on pretending to yell and swear at people while he had the phone muted. He loved to make fun of me because he knew I had to take it… I had no choice. I needed the money. He actually used to say that to me.
Next, I found myself mixed up an extreme right-wing overweight man whose personal life was crumbling all around him. In fact, his terrible demeanor earned him a first class ticket to Divorce Land! At one time, these guys were partners. However, an imp can’t partner with fiend. It’s doomed from the start… as they were.
After those two, there were a series of late-90’s business egomaniacs who, because they had started a dot com here or a tech company there and captured some investment dollars from the suckers who bent over and took it like real champions, thought they were the greatest things on Earth. They were really cocky. None of them could see the world past their own noses and they all ended up with a failed business plan, a divorce or, no doubt, an STD. I watched their butts get kissed more than a lottery winner on payday. It was sickening.
Soon after that run, I had a repressed homosexual who took out his aggressions by demanding that I complete silly and meaningless tasks. Next, I enjoyed the oversight of a hardcore metrosexual who loved to pick on my apparent lack of fashion sense by insulting me in front of other people. The sad part was that he never understood that you don’t crap on the people that do your work for you... especially when you pay them far below their actual worth. He’ll end up getting pegged in a unisex bathroom a trendy New York nightclub someday. I’d put money on that.
Brace yourself for this next one. He is the case-in-point for this article. Two years ago, I had a boss that was a big burly freak of a man. A former hockey player and master of building and destroying small companies, he calls Viagara “The Heat” and looks like a cross between a cokehead and a bulldog. He has a new girlfriend and gets off on having sex with her while her kids are in the house and his friends listen in on the speakerphone (she has no idea, of course.) He treated me like his best friend one minute and his own personal bitch the next. Among his many daily explicit shockers, he told me the following:
a) He estimates he had spent over $100,000 on prostitutes in the past 17 years. (note: he was married for 17 years and he was once extremely mad at me because I refused to have sex with a prostitute in NYC while he and the VP of Sales watched.)
b) Several times, he told me that if during sex “you make a woman piss on your face, you own her forever.” That one made me shudder.
c) While married to another woman, he sodomized his neighbor with the flag pole in his office and then fucked her on the flag itself. God bless America!
d) When he was younger, he used to drink vomit, urine and eat feces for money. I didn’t believe him until he had a friend unequivocally confirm it as true. I’m not sure if I was supposed to be scared or impressed by that one. (by the way, he was recently diagnosed with a sever case of diverticulitis.)
e) I could go on and on and on and you simply wouldn’t believe it.
And then we come to my last boss. The worst. It gets WORSE you might ask? Yes, it does. However, let me start by saying that I have no issues with female authority. My current boss is a woman and she is fantastic. I love this job. I love my boss. I love this company. Etc. etc. etc.
But, my last boss… oh god, she was so evil. She was the biggest, nastiest life destroying mean spirited bitch the world has ever seen. I mean it. I’m a pretty tough guy and, for reference, I am 6’4” tall, I weigh 265lbs and I can be extremely intimidating. But, my god, one day this bitch reduced me to tears because I just couldn’t take her anger management disorder anymore. She mentally beat me and beat me and beat me until I cracked. I told her I was going to crack and then I cracked. It was ugly. I cried like a baby.
Check this out: she’s had a 200% employee turnover rate in her department in 2 years because people can’t deal with her unending shit.
Finally, after I realized that my personal life was crumbling, the medications and therapy weren’t helping, I quit. With a very pregnant wife, no job prospects and nothing lined up whatsoever, I walked in, slapped down a letter of resignation, told them I wanted two months salary and benefits (in exchange for me NOT suing for verbal assault in the workplace) and that my last day would be that following Friday. Then, I had another one of my employees quit along with me. Fuck her. FUCK. HER. The sense of relief I felt on that Friday afternoon was among the greatest sensations I have ever felt.
Honestly, I really can deal with all of this. Sure, it frustrates me from time to time, and can even require drastic measures to be taken, but it’s not a big deal to me, personally. What I can’t deal with is being treated like a child. Now, bear in mind that I know many people who have to deal with this kind of typical garbage or something along the lines of “people acting like idiots in the workplace.”
My guess is that, at one time or another, you too have dealt with this nonsense.
You know, I have a pretty sold resume for my amount of education and exposure to the professional world. Funny enough, most of my experience, which helped me to literally land my dream job and put me on a successful career path, is owed to these very people. Of course, my wife and family will tell me that everything I have is all because of me, but I know better. All I did was to learn how to appease these bosses long enough to get what I wanted. I accumulated a vast amount of knowledge and “knowledge is power!”
It had its price, and I paid it… and then some.
What I am trying to say is that The American Boss spews out abuse and nonsense that we’re expected to arrange into useable pieces of data and instruction and, in turn, we learn how to navigate through the pile of drivel that is the New World Workplace. I have a borderline useless college degree and yet, I am currently running the marketing organization for a $110MM segment of a $1B public company. I have learned to suck in knowledge faster than a broken hearted teenager swilling booze on a hot summer’s night.
So, what’s the point? Well, if you hear words like loyalty, trust, raise and bonus being tossed around your office when the door is shut and your boss is talking to you one-on-one (especially if this has happened several times in a row and nothing ever comes of it), I would take a long hard look at where you are and think about moving on… soon. In the meantime, get as many free lunches, expensed cocktails and valuable working knowledge as you can and then go get a higher paying job somewhere else. Don’t make a big deal about it. Just learn from the past and move on. After that, call me and let’s get good and drunk! (And then I’ll get you a fantastic job. Trust me, I know that game better than anyone.)
After all, we deserve it more than they do. Right? Hell yeah we do.
Why? Because, we’re an entire generation of lost souls who are forced to report to soulless losers, and we have seemingly no choice but to keep on keeping on. Well, times are changing and I believe that the revolution we’ve all been waiting for is right on the horizon.
You can see when you close your eyes at night and picture a better life.
Now, get back to work.
Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag
I don't want to spoil the movie for you, so I will just say that if you are a Will Ferrell fan, you will have a great time at this movie. In addition to a strong performance by Ferrell, John C. O'Reilly and Sacha Cohen were fantastic. In fact, all of the supporting cast (except for one minor player) were excellent. And the one actress I'm thinking of wasn't bad, she just wasn't dead on with her delivery; which stuck out in this movie.
I'd also like to give a shout out to NASCAR for supporting this movie and having a sense of humor about itself. This movie was funny, had some inside jokes for the NASCAR fans, and was funny without being meanspirited to NASCAR or the fans.
Remember, if you aren't first, you're last.
Well, Well . ..
I just watched Dethklok Metaolcalypse . . .
and I must say, it was the best 15 minutes of my weekend. It definitely has that Brendon Small type of humor. Only on a much grander scale. If you get the chance, and have not seen watch it on the Fix (full screen too).
AMAZING!
I am Malach and it is beedy bye bows time.
A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk
Hi Everyone,
Robert is doing fine. Right now he's writing out instrusctions with his unbroken left hand so that I can tell you that he won. The fight went well. It was AWESOME! he writes. He wants you to know that he has a broken jaw and his right hand is mangled and his ribs have some cracks.
But you should have seen it! I had to stick Captain Flack's stomach up after pushing his intestines back in. That ought to show Robert how 'stupid' watching all this trauma shows was.
The best part was leaving them both lying on the floor, writhing in pain for two hours. Well, except for the fact that I didn't realize they were going to bleed so much. So, after I played amateur doctor hour, I made them both mop until they dropped.
Well, I have to go. Robert wan't me to write a special NFL section for his sports blog. I guess there's some boring pre-season game on tonight between two teams he hates and he want to make sure you all know that he loves football, but not enough to even spit on his neighbor's TV when this game is on.
Maybe I'll just give him too much medication and pretend he never told me.
Nite!
Welcome to Otis Serungis
You Fuggin' Dwarf!
I am Malach and I hate Dwarves, and if I were DM of this campaign, I would think up the most embarassing ways for the Dwarven PC's to die!
Do you people want Action
Now THIS is Fuggin' Action:
Come get some.
Happy Birthday.
To Pilaf, who without Pilaf, Butt Sex Man, never would have crank called me.
I am Malach, arrrrrrrr.
The Death Tax... again...
Once again the Republicans tried to pass a massive tax cut tied to an increase in the minimum wage. Not surprisingly, it was blocked by the Democrats.
Proponents of repealing the estate tax (called Death Tax by its detractors) has long been cited by the Washington cronies as a boon for “the family farm and small family business”.
Attention: wealthy assholes and poor morons who listen to them.
FYI; you don’t need to pay any taxes on inherited estates until the value of said estate hits $2,000,0001
In 2009 that exemption will grow to $3,500,001 (7 million for a married couple).
So please, shut the fuck up already about it. If you are not making enough to pay it, you aren’t effected, and if you are making enough to pay it, cry me a fucking river of dollar bills.
And if you think this source is biased then please put your money where you mouth is and provide a reputable site that presents alternate numbers.
http://www.cbpp.org/pubs/estatetax.htm
Friday Night Fight
Tomorrow night, the moment is upon us. The final battle will be joined. It will be intellect versus interluck as Dr. Robert J. Murk Battles Captain Flak Paperpants (aka SpaceFarmer) to the death in an insult fight to end all insult fights. If the insults don't provide a fatality, we will record an actual fistfight until one man (or woman, in the Captain's case) taps out and submits.
Oh sure. It will be settled tomorrow night, but you might have to wait until Monday to hear the battle. I warned you. This will be graphic, ugly, evil. There will be no survivors. Listening will lower your IQ by twenty points.
Place your bets now. Place them in the comments section. Place them up your ass for all we care. It's on. It's going down. We're getting ready to rumble. Be afraid. Be somewhat afraid. Alien versus predator. Jason versus Freddy. Barney versus Fred. Emilio versus Charlie. You name it, we've got it.
So, lock the kids in the basement and send the wife on a slow boat to China because it ENDS HERE! Drop your pants and whip it out and put it in the mashed potatoes.
The Bash on a Podcast will be happening. So, if you see bright flashing lights, fire, tornadoes, tits or anything else, you know what's going on. Two old friends turned enemies are squaring off to flap the ass gates wide open and smell the sweet stink of victory. Are you brave enough to download?
Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz
You will only understand this article if you are a New England Sports Fan.
I love Bill Simmons. This is the best article he has written in awhile. Had me on the floor laughing.
I am Malach and Bird wins.
Ultimate Spider-Man
You know I love comics right? And how a lot of them are declining in quality and originality? Well here is my review of Ultimate Spider-Man....Well the current storyline at least!!!....Not sure if I already did that. I did, then it's just a fresh reminder. However, lets recap the Ultimate Marvel universe. Basically, they revamped the original Marvel universe to make bring it up to date with today's world. While everything is relatively the same there a some differences like Captain America being more violent than his 616 (Regular Marvel Universe) counterpart, Bucky being alive and living well into old age, Doctor Doom being a more goatlike creature, Nick Fury looks like Samuel L. Jackson, X-Men being all fucked up...Don't even want to go into that, the Avengers are now known as the Ultimates, Punisher being a wimp (To be honest he only showed up in one comic issue so far), and many other things I don't want to get into.
Now the current storyline is a retelling of the craptacular Clone Saga. Spider-Man finds out he has shitloads of clones yada yada. So far their are two parts already out but bygumm I will review them! The first part was slow like all firsts, it begins with a phone call between a young Peter Parker and Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat of X-Men fame). It's full of goodness that you can only fine on crappy daytime soap operas. Seeing as how they are both currently dating. You see, earlier issues shows that when dating Mary Jane Watson, Peter broke up with her to protect her from bad guys and all that jazz. By dating Kitty, Peter has someone that's already in the superhero business and that she can defend herself. Unlike MJ who is just a teenage girl who runs when fear is near! We fastforward to the mall. Suddenly the Scorpion appears!!! I kind of like this, first showing of the Ultimate version of the Scorpion. Besides shooting toxic crap from a tail he also shoots toxic crap from is wrists! Interesting to note that he just shows up randomly without anything leading up to it. After getting a beatdown from Spider-Man we discover that it's none other than...Peter Parker?!?! That's right, he's a goddamn clone. I get why they made him a clone, what I don't get is why make the clone the Scorpion? Are we going to see the real Scorpion if he ever appears again in the Marvel Universe?
Being freaked out, he goes to the only person that can help: Mr. Fantastic. Leaving the clone with Mr. Fantastic (who is in his twenties I might add) and the Fantastic Four he heads home to Aunt May. At home, he discovers that Mary Jane was kidnapped. OH SNAPS!!! Outside, we discovered that this person climbed up the side of the house. Yay, it's another clone that kidnapped her. Waking up Mary Jane finds out that she is being kept in a giant glass bubble being held captive by the clone of Parker. We find out that this place is at an abandoned Osborn Industries factory. (Cue dramatic music). Looking for Mary Jane, Peter goes into an abandoned warehouse. While searching the warehouse, Peter runs into.....Spider-Woman/Girl? After getting into a fight and losing Peter goes to his old house and discovers Gwen Stacy....Alive. So far this version of the Clone Saga is actually better than the old version...Which was crap. It so far has many many plot twists like the appearance of a Spider-Woman/Girl not quite sure yet. They also brought in Gwen Stacy...Most likely a clone. I do have one disappointment with the Ultimate Version of Gwen...She died in a crappy way which is a disgrace to the character. She died in a less dramatic way and they made her character a whinny little punk ass bitch. However, her appearance in the clone saga was not as surprising since in the original there was a Gwen Stacy clone. So we will have to see how this goes. I give the first two parts a B, hoping that when it concludes it would have a better conclusion and can be bumped to having an A seeing as how I'm only doing the first two parts.
As a side note the Ben Reilly in the Ultimate Universe is an African American with no ties to Peter Parker, this Ben was also responsible for creating the Ultimate version of Carnage.
Best Week Ever - WoW Style
The week at WoW.
One of the reasons I do this, is this blog sometime constantly updates and might be hard to keep up with. Angryman pointed out in his latest blog, that he has been MIA recently and has the task of trying to catch up here. Hopefully this helps.
8/3/03
The Thought Police are Here
Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!
8/2/03
World War III Anyone?
chaos dragon is a dummy
Get Your War On
Plug tunin'
Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design
Hump Day Jokes!!!!
All Mel...All Drunk...All the time
Damn Funny..
RSS News Service!
Creative writing contest.
8/1/03
The More You Know!
Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?
Boy, do I feel stupid.
Some Useless Images from The Cap'n
Consumption..
No, no, no, no
i can't sleep
This Just In
LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast
A Plea
7/31/03
Why I Love Home Movies
What do you think about this?
Time is not on my side . .
WoW CONTEST: Ask Richard Dreyfuss!
Eleven Lessons I learned from Robert S. McNamara
The Haiku Challenge
Monday Morning
What happens when good community theater goes REALLY bad?
Some Random Shiite
A Request to be Disintegrated
7/30/03
Uhm Interesting
How drunk was I on Friday night?
7/29/03
An Interview With a Vampire... no... Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson blames alcoholism for his Anti-Semitism
Mel Gibson DUI Police Report
7/28/03
Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson
A plug
Trump trumps all other Monsters. End of story.
Bazoo, The Soul Eater
Place your bets! Place your bets!
7/27/03
Welcome to WoW.
Malach's Top Ten Fictional Villains
A couple of really fucked up emails.
Will the Big Dig Tunnel Curse be reversed? I DOUBT IT.
7/26/03
A Quick Do It Yourself Project
New WoW Theme Song
Malach's Crap
Cap'n Crap
OW!
Categories
Goverment/Politics
The Thought Police are Here
Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design
What do you think about this?
Will the Big Dig Tunnel Curse be reversed? I DOUBT IT.
Babbling
Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!
Some Useless Images from The Cap'n
i can't sleep
Cap'n Crap
OW!
World Issues
World War III Anyone?
Consumption..
Insults
chaos dragon is a dummy
Time is not on my side . .
Malach's Crap
Entertainment
Get Your War On
Plug tunin'
Hump Day Jokes!!!!
Damn Funny..
LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast
Why I Love Home Movies
What happens when good community theater goes REALLY bad?
Some Random Shiite
A plug
Why Mel Gibson will sue us
All Mel...All Drunk...All the time
RSS News Service!
Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?
An Interview With a Vampire... no... Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson blames alcoholism for his Anti-Semitism
Mel Gibson DUI Police Report
Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson A plug
Contests
Creative writing contest.
WoW CONTEST: Ask Richard Dreyfuss!
The Haiku Challenge
Trivia
The More You Know!
Non-Fiction/Life Stories
Boy, do I feel stupid.
Administration
No, no, no, no A Request to be Disintegrated
A Plea
Welcome to WoW.
New WoW Theme Song
Drunken Debauchery
This Just In
Monday Morning
How drunk was I on Friday night?
Philosophy
Eleven Lessons I learned from Robert S. McNamara
Monster Fight
Trump trumps all other Monsters. End of story.
Bazoo, The Soul Eater
Wikibombs
Place your bets! Place your bets!
Top 10 Lists
Malach's Top Ten Fictional Villains
Fan Mail
A couple of really fucked up emails.
Home Improvement
A Quick Do It Yourself Project
I am Malach, improving your internet experience
The Thought Police are Here
See my article on the upcoming thought police and marshall law act.
"Single acts of tyranny may be ascribed to the accidental opinion of a day; but a series of oppressions, begun at a distinguished period and pursued unalterably through every change of ministers, too plainly prove a deliberate, systematic plan of reducing [a people] to slavery." --Thomas Jefferson: Rights of British America, 1774. (*) ME 1:193, Papers 1:125
"The oppressed should rebel, and they will continue to rebel and raise disturbance until their civil rights are fully restored to them and all partial distinctions, exclusions and incapacitations are removed." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Religion, 1776. Papers 1:548
"[We] should look forward to a time, and that not a distant one, when corruption in this as in the country from which we derive our origin will have seized the heads of government and be spread by them through the body of the people; when they will purchase the voices of the people and make them pay the price. Human nature is the same on every side of the Atlantic and will be alike influenced by the same causes." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia Q.XIII, 1782. ME 2:164
Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!
*cheer leader shout*
Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!
Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!
Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!
Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!
World War III Anyone?
Well, the human race has avoided an all out catastrophic war for over 50 years. Sure, we've seen some nasty confrontations since WW II, but nothing on that scale. What could ignite such a war? When religion and politics ride in the same cart...
This is what we have in the Middle East. Israel is playing a dangerous game. Israel was given its own sovergn nation after Worl War II. Okay. That makes sense... sort of. Unfortunately, it was set up right in the middle of the heart of Islam. Hundreds of years of crusades were fought for this barren plot of land. It's important to three faiths. It's where Mohammed received his vision. It's where Christ died. It's where Solomon built his temple. It is sacred ground. A tenous 'peace" has existed in this region for decades. The problem is...
All of Israel's neighbors resent the Jewish state. This can be managed by the international community as long as Israel doesn't attempt to extend its borders. It is doing just that.
I am not against support for Israel fighting for their own nation. I'm not sure I understand their means of doing so. The timing of the invasion of Lebannon is bad. Very bad. America has invaded Iraq and dared the world to oppose them. Israel had become emboldened by this. There is no way that Israel feels compelled to negotiate settlements with the United States and the United Kingdom backing them without question. At some point, support of Israeli aggresion must be at the very least questioned. Was this military campaign into Lebannon necessary? Isn't there enough tension there already?
The US has stuck by Israel for many years. What is Israel giving the United States in return? We've given them weapons, we've trained them, we've provided intelligence and we have been their 'big stick' to wave when other nations get mad. Israel might have pushed a bit too far this time.
Look, I'm not on the ground in the hot zone, but why are we supporting a pro Israeli invasion of another country? It's political suicide on a global scale. We went to far with Iraq. I admit it. I was a supporter of the war in the beginning, but I realize I was wrong. All it has done is foster hate and put a new corrupt government into power. We threaten Iran about nuclear proliferation, but we let Pakistan, India and even NORTH KOREA pursue their own nuclear agenda unchecked. What message are we sending and what way out is there at this point?
Here's my analysis:
1: Israel wants too much and will force the U.S. to join them. We have no alternative besides losing our 'stronghold' in the Middle East.
2: The U.N. is bungling the whole thing and making themselves a laughing stock as nations ignore their mandates and do whatever they want.
3: Islamic Fundamentalists will never stop until we withdraw from everywhere between China and Egypt.
4: North Korea and Iran will get nuclear weapons and delivery systems within ten years.
5: America is becoming everyone's scapegoat due to a cleverly disguised agenda of imperialism.
6: There are two distinct sides lining up. Neither side is willing to give in. A stalemate might be a lucky chance alternative, but is unlikely.
I'm over thirty and unable to serve, but some of you reading this are prime material for drafting. BUT, you are so blinded by TV aqnd video games that you honestly think all you'll have to do is say no and they'll let you stay home with mom and dad.
Will there be another World War? Eeventually, yes. Let's hope it's postponed until we are all dead due to natural causes.
I doubt that will be the case.
Get Your War On
Plug tunin'
Since we pluggining away today . . .
Fat Bug 1.6 is now loaded. This episode Fat Bug take on the two idiots at Ctrl+Alt+Del, continues adveturing with Blue Guy from Gluemeat, and there is a special cameo from Sarah Zero.
I have also registered for the CAD Forums, but stupidly left my home e-mail and not work one, so I won't be able to post a link there until this evening. I am about to traverse the rest of the internet to drum up some links. Tim Buckley (the creator) from what I understand likes to threaten people, so I will expect some type of lawsuit soon.
As for the next webcomic, I still have not recieved the latest JesusMan! script, so I might skip a Wraith update to do the next episode of Fat Bug.
I am Malach and this has been a message from the Stool Sample Webcomics Broadcast System.
Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design
Here's my deal. It seems pretty obvious to me that Intelligent Design is just a way to try to sell Creationism with some scientific sounding words. Say I give you the benefit of the doubt, and agree that it isn't. You really believe in the logic that life is too complicated to evolve on it's own and someone/thing had to intelligently design it. I have a question for you:
Who designed the designer? By your own logic, we are too complicated to evolve, we had to be designed. Thus, our designer had to be even more complex; thus requiring his own designer. That designer, would require one, etc., out to infinity. Not only is ID completely unsupported by any science, it can't even stand up when examined under it's own underpinning logic.
IDiots.
Hump Day Jokes!!!!
All Mel...All Drunk...All the time
...Just released, for those of you who can't get enough drunken Mel, photos of him gettin down, before the 'incident.' Enjoy!
Damn Funny..
...alright, I'm not generally one to advertise for my own blog on here. And I'm not going to start being one too often. But I found something that is quite hilarious, and I had to choose which blog to post it on. I chose my own, which is much more hurting for content than the WOW here. But I think you all will very much enjoy this latest post. Think good ol GW, our idiot in chief, set to music. Yes, its a video. Yes, it will make you laugh. So, click on the banner above to visit the Greater Good, and laugh your skinny white butt off!
RSS News Service!
Breaking News.
RSS News has gotten a hold of an undoctored picture of Mel Gibson's mugshot. A unamed source emailed it to our news desk. So far the LA County Sheriff's Department has not commented.
Seig Heil, more stats from the Statzi!
Recent fun Keyphrase searches:
bilogy man woman sex : help me here, what does bilogy mean? Biology perhaps? Come to WoW from sex ed!
blow-up spacewalks : Um . . yeah
three testicles : Yeah, health class
watching other males pee at public toilets : Wake me up, before you go-go!
alex trebek's cock : I see a pattern here
lg f7200 tty devices : OK, we ever had an article of even mentioned a TTY device?
satanic layouts falling objects right side down cross for profiles for myspace.com : This must be something Toyi posted
spanked aimee' : Actually she was disintegrated
The 10 Countries who visit here most:
1. The United States
2. Unknown
3. China
4. Canada
5. Spain
6. Brazil
7. India
8. United Kingdom
9. Japan
10. Malaysia
The Top 10 Regions who visit here most:
1. California
2. Massachusetts
3. Michigan
4. Florida
5. British Columbia, Canada
6. Texas
7. Virginia
8. New Jersey
9. Valencia, Spain
10. Illinois
Shandong China in in 13th place. Now you know who to insult more, EH?
I am Malach and I am La Chupracabra
Creative writing contest.
So yeah, there's some sort of writing contest in my area. I think I'm going to enter. Don't really know what to write though. There's two choices: short story and essay.
I'm thinking about making a short story about a teenage suicide. At the outset, you're reading the kid's note to the people who found him, until a pleading woman interrupts the narrative. Then you realize that he's still in the process of writing it, and it ends with a bang. Morbid, I know... But I really want to emphasize the futility of suicide. I'm just afraid that it'll be considered too sad though. ><"
Oh, oh, and for the essay portion, I'm thinking of a counterpoint to the assumption that everything is bad for you (Video games, television, music, etc.) Still don't know how to start it. =\
Oh yeah, I sent Ch.2 Malach. Expect Ch3 soon. XP
The More You Know!
Mick's most recognizable and famous feature is his beard... which he shaved off for his role of a fish-like alien delegate who was intent on blowing up the summit meeting which the USS Enterprise was taking him to.
Did you know that? Well, now you do.
Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?
I mean look at it!
I am Malach and I am a Gentile
Boy, do I feel stupid.
So, today as I was walking into my office, I saw this drop dead gorgeous girl walking in as well. I didn't know who she was.
Being a fast walker, I caught up to her and, of course, I had to start talking to her. We had some minor chit chat and then started talking about the weather.
And then... this happened:
HOTTIE: It's going to be nasty out here today.
CAP'N: I know. I hope the air conditioning in the building can keep up. Most of the time, I think it's too hot where I sit.
HOTTIE: Really? I usually have to wear a sweater or something to keep warm!
CAP'N: Wow. No kidding! Where do you sit?
HOTTIE: Right next to you.
fuck.
Some Useless Images from The Cap'n
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
Consumption..
...American's generally make me angry. The people (generally) in this great nation seem to be only interested in consumption and entertainment. We want to surround ourselves with material objects, sit on our comfy couches, and just watch television (and yes, i am often guilty of this as well). So, when I'm really feeling guilty and let down by the nation i live in, I look at the habits of other nations. Are we so much worse than other nations. In some cases, absolutely. Then, I look at Japan. And I feel better.
Yes, that is a giant f'ing television.
No, no, no, no
Please don't ruin this series yet again.
Evidently Heath Ledger will play a starring role in the next Batman, The Dark Knight. Now Heath Ledger is a pretty good actor and all, but the Joker? I just don't see it.
What's wrong with Red Sox Nation.
All you hear about is all these sports repoters that Red Sox fans are no longer psycho, they are content with 2004, and spout the "at least they won one in my lifetime philosophy". It's true, gone are the depressions, sleepless nights, and negative attitude. No trades yesterday, and the Nation is ecstatic the young arms weren't traded, even for Andruw Jones. See here is the deal. This is direted at the Tony Mazzarotti's of the world. We are cured. We no longer are blinded by failure. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see, Epstein and crew have built a farm system, and a team for the future. This team will be a dominant force for the next 5 plus years. Gone are the GM's that will mortgage the future for the present. Gone are the GM's the bring in the high priced free agent at the end of his career (they seem to have moved to Yankee stadium). Gone are the GM's that prize the long ball vs. the quality pitcher (also seem to have moved to the Bronx). They might not win this year, and I don't care, becuase in the next few years you are looking at a dynasty.
And David Ortiz, Malach is ready to service you sexually is you want that.
Don't ever, EVER mess with Chris.
You heard me.
Somone said they missed stats?
Well Malach the Statzi is back. Well last month we had 12,000 unique veiws. That is 4 times the previous month. Our total since opening this site? Just under 18,000 unique views. Hits? 187,000; 126,000 last month.
Top 10 Most Popular WoW articles:
1. A Couple of Quickes (if you are wondering why, this article is linked to by Trumba)
2. Soccer and the United States
3. Cars
4. If I were Leader of the Free World
5. Nacho Libre: A Review
6. Ohh, Daniel-san My Arm!
7. The Downhill Slide
8. Dear Governor Romney
9. Yellowstone Death
10. The Wand of Wonder
Ahh, Malach rules.
I am Malach, and I bring you the sound of music
LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast
*NEW* Show 9: Malach's Day Off *NEW* :This podcast comes complete with racially insensitive remarks, Mel Gibson vs. Officer Lee and the premiere of Butt Sex Man. Murk and Malach enjoy it all due to their special secret weapon: COFFEE!
-MP3 -Real Media
A Plea
Malach, PLEASE lose this awful theme music. It makes me scramble for my volume button every time I visit this site, which is usually at least once a day.
You have made me hate Ween. And because he can't hear it, you have made me wish, however briefly, that I was the Angry Veteran.
And that I do not forgive.
Dude, seriously...lose the music. I vote for no background music. It sucks.
I still love you, though, you big hairy chunk of burnin' funk.