So, today as I was walking into my office, I saw this drop dead gorgeous girl walking in as well. I didn't know who she was.
Being a fast walker, I caught up to her and, of course, I had to start talking to her. We had some minor chit chat and then started talking about the weather.
And then... this happened:
HOTTIE: It's going to be nasty out here today.
CAP'N: I know. I hope the air conditioning in the building can keep up. Most of the time, I think it's too hot where I sit.
HOTTIE: Really? I usually have to wear a sweater or something to keep warm!
CAP'N: Wow. No kidding! Where do you sit?
HOTTIE: Right next to you.
fuck.
Boy, do I feel stupid.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Posted by Captain Flak Paperpants at 1:41 PM
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20 comments:
Now, do you feel dumb because you never knew she sat next to you, or because she inferred that you give her the could shoulder.
Hottie sho is cold!
And you missed a save:
"Well, if you sit a little closer you won't be needing that sweater."
I felt stupid because she sits right next to me... literally... and I had NO idea who she was.
Fuck. She's really hot too. Not that it matters (because of my jewish princess wife) but still.
There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark. I want to apologize specifically to everyone in the Jewish community for the vitriolic and harmful words that I said to a law enforcement officer the night I was arrested on a DUI charge.
I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.
The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life. Every human being is God's child, and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children. But please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.
I'm not just asking for forgiveness. I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.
I have begun an ongoing program of recovery and what I am now realizing is that I cannot do it alone. I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery. Again, I am reaching out to the Jewish community for its help. I know there will be many in that community who will want nothing to do with me, and that would be understandable. But I pray that that door is not forever closed.
This is not about a film. Nor is it about artistic license. This is about real life and recognizing the consequences hurtful words can have. It's about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad. SEIG HEIL!
That was me the entire time sitting next to you
The crushing burden of your self loathing is sitting on you right now.
*cries in shame*
"The tenets of what I profess to believe necessitate that I exercise charity and tolerance as a way of life."
It's nice to 'profess' belief. It's much easier than actually believing. Also, it makes a great out in cases like this.
If he's so contrite, where's the apology to officer Lee?
It's MEE, god dammit, not LEE.
It's not Bruce Lee?
Shit. Time to re-record the podcast...
oh now you will get to hate her lol
Ok, we just talked for a while and we actually have a lot in common. She's really nice. And smokin hot.
From a future documentary:
And, thus began the slow litany of events that ended with a sexual harassment lawsuit, divorce, alimony, and child support. Penniless and alone, the man known as Paperpants committed suicide by tying his own head into a bag of starving subway rats.
Witnesses state that they heard screams of joy and cries of sweet relief as the rats ate through his flesh and consumed him.
We have a lot in common" oh that sounds very familiar with me specially from people that are in a crush.. I also know that that is what everybody thought before getting married lol
I'm going to marry her. TODAY. IN MY MIND CHURCH. *evil laugh*
Nice!
They still have 'the Nubby Anus' for sale in your mind church?
Oh, and your new wife could borrow a dress from... nevermind...
uhm Cap F Paperpants should wear the wedding dress
No, he doesn't wear dresses... some others do... but not him...
There's a small Chapel.
so how the service goes in the church of your mind Cap?
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