Captain on the Bridge! (click for a larger image)
One of the Top 10 Greatest Moments of my entire life.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Captain on the Bridge!
(click for a larger image)
Captain on the Bridge! (click for a larger image)
Today's Classic (yet real) News Headlines
- X-Men illustrator dies in Superman pajamas (CNN)
- Clerk swings machete to stop porn theft (CNN)
- A dip can bring a sea lion's nip (CNN)
- 3 goats found spray-painted, surrounded by porn (MSNBC)
Health: Breasts on a plane controversy (MSNBC)
- IHOP eatery will stop carding customers for pancakes (MSNBC)
- Squirrel OK after fiery chimney surprise (Boston Globe)
- Pigeon enthusiasts gather for N.M. show (Boston Globe)
- First Transgendered Character Answers Your Questions (ABC)
- Pelosi's First Bowl (ABC)
- CIA Searches for PlayStation3 (ABC)
- Man Tried to Hide Guitar in Pants (ABC)
- All Shades of Black and Brown Are Beautiful (ABC)
Man why people need to get sooo sensitive?
Monday, November 27, 2006
The fact that we live in a free country and have issues like this flatters me.
I personally see more Satanic to go kill people elsewhere without knowing the real cause.
Classic Arcade Game Rediscovered!
Wicked awesome! Early this morning, I was finally able to download a shareware copy of the extremely rare HUNTIN' HOBBS' arcade extravaganza!
This is the game where you can choose to be either Angry Piper (The Hunter) or Hobbs Von Wackamole (The Hunted) and run around in a bland 2-D world!
Check out all the pixelated WoWees watching the action from the second level!
When you play this killer 80's retro flashback classic, you'll find out that the WoWees are actually cheering on Piper's emotionally unbalanced wine fueled hunt fest!
(OR ARE THEY?!?!? Ooooooo!!!!)
Here's the Mail, it never fails . . .
It makes me want to wag my tail . .
Hello. Malach here. And I can hear you. You are asking, Malach, that guy from Blue's Clues, Steven Burns, what ever happened to him? I mean he left that show, left it with that ambigously airheaded giant (well giant compared to Steve) Joe. I miss Steve, Steve was fun, and almost subversive . . . Joe, Joe kinda sucks.
Well, Malach has heard your call, and done a bit of research. Steve Burns (contrary to internet rumor) is alive and well, and possibly bathing in right now Blue's Clues dough. Steve has become a musician, director, actor and kind of strange little psuedo alternative darling.
His Wiki page is an interesting indictment on what is wrong with Wikipedia. There is plenty of wrong and false information there, including the porn actor stuff (really imagine how much money someone could make if they had a copy of Steve in all his pornographic glory). Well evidently after leaving the pleasant company of Blue, Mailbox, and Mr. Salt, he started making music, hanging out with the Flaming Lips, and putting out a album called Songs for Dustmites.
So Malach, intrigued, moseyed over to Steve Burns website. (Yeah another celebrity with a pretty crappy website, Steve, contact me, I'll hook you up). Semi entertaining. Rarely updated. You can also listen to some of his songs off the Dustmites album. You can also get a nice pic or two of Steve. My favorite being the one at left. Methinks that Side Table Drawer would be none too happy with this haunted look. But she's a bit of a whiny bitch anyway.
Further intrigued Malach journeyed over to Steve's Myspace, or as Steve puts is "Ourspace" (he has this past, present, future Steve thing going, hey what ever works). Malach of course immediatley becomes his friend, even though Malach has more MySpace friends than him (Hey gotta help a brother out).
So, the music, it's not bad. If you are a Lips fan, you will like Steve's stuff, which has some obvious influence from. It is interesting, albeit, missing a few elements that might make it very good. Of course I am not a muscian, but I think I would like to hear Steve unleash his voice a bit more. I really liked the last song on the page Mighty Little Man which features a bit more voice.
So give Steve some love, he has given you and your kids tons of it.
More Kids Shows.
So Malach order a Pancake Mountain DVD. And I must say, the kids loved, I liked it, and would love to see more kids show like it. While it shares some things with The Electric Company, Banana Splits, Dance Party USA, and it is so much different. You need to check out some of the videos from their site to get a good feel for it. You can also go back to a earlier WoW article for a little of Ian MacKaye's Vowel Movement.
I am Malach and and I just figured out Blue's Clues, cause I'm really smart.
Moving is a pain
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I presume most of you must have (not) been wondering where I've been. So I've decided to tell you. It's a tale of immense boredom that only
the truly pathetic moronwho has too much time on his hands will finish reading.
I, my WoW commrades, had to shift residence. But shifting is more than just moving all you belongings
from one home to another.
Sometimes you must (as in my case) shift from one state to the other!
Oh the pain!
1st we have to employ barely litrate worker to pack all of our stuff and then
send to off. Along the way several expensive items obviously get 'lost while
packing' and the worker are sure that 'it'll be in some box'
Then you must at times spend the rest of your last sad days at the home of
a fellow relative whose kid will annoy the life out of you but is too cute to me
angery at.
Several sad goodbyes and farewell parties later you're on a plane onwards
to an exciting new life.
So then I spent the fist few weeks of my exicting life in a mess room studying for an enterance
exam to get intoa school. Ofcourse since my dad works for the Navy (now as a Commodore) we were denied thefun of frantically searching for a hotel room to stay at before our
luggage arrived (5 days later than planned)
Surrounded by all the horrors of T.V, Internet and Music is guess I'm back
to the same routine I used to follow back in Bombay. yay.
1st day of school tommorow. Didn't/don't you just LOVE the sensation of
being stared at by everyone as you introduce youself in front of class? Bullies planning
when you 'get friendly' with you and girls giggling at the end of class about some obscure joke about how nervous you look, etc. etc.
Been there done that too many times now, I don't even feel a little intersted
about thinking how the 1st day will be like.
I feel like eating some cheese now for some reason.
Sports News
Saturday, November 25, 2006
The United States Government has traded Donald Rumsfeld for North Korean Premier Pak Pong-ju and a minor politician to be named later. Rumsfeld and his agent issued a 'play me or trade me' ultimatum to the United States after being benched in favor of rookie Robert Gates, who has shown promise over the last year.
The U.S. frequently cited Rumsfeld's behavior as a distraction and he has been compared to Terrell Owens in his tendency to be a bad locker room influence.
North Korea is excited at the prospect of having an all pro Secretary of Defense and have cited his ability to play both offense and defense as illustrated by his orchestration of the Second Gulf War. "We wish to invade Belgium," said Kim Jong Il in a press conference, "And Rumsfeld is our guy. He has unique abilities and we believe he can incite a war against any nation for any reason at any time and get away with it." When asked if Rumsfeld's antics might be a distraction, Kim Jong Il responded, "What were we talking about again?"
President Bush refused to comment by saying "Hey, man. Rummy had good hands and was a smart smart smart smart smart smart guy who we liked a lot. We had to trade him. He was awesome! This Ping Pong-po dude's got some big pants to fill, but I think if we feed him some children, he'll fatten up and get tough enough to start a great war in somewhere sandy and warm, like Hawaii. I love that volcano they got there. And them women are naked under those grass skirts. Can you see me winking in my mind, eh? Naked. Now, hush up, my bath is getting colder than my glass of milk and cookies. Mamma crumbles them up into the milk, you know? Kinda streamlines the process. Say, that's a nice tie! Give it to me or you'll go to Gymto or somewhere we can hit ya real nice and solid, hear?"
Sources around the league don't expect much to change for either nation, noting that all countries are really run by a secret cabal headed by Charlton Heston and Bee Arthur's ghost.
Christmas Bells are Ringing!
Malach's guide? to holiday decorating.
So Malach has just finished decorating the house (Yes Malach is an XMas Maniac and immediatley puts the stuff up the weekend after Turkey Day, yes I was also first in the neighborhood to so so). Malach has been decorating numerous houses of varying style for several years. Malach likes to tastefully decorate his house, and does not go overboard, but it is only once are year, so have it. Now, this is less of a "how to decorate the house", and more of, the "secrets I have learned".
Malach has always used the cheap green garland, well last year (after season when it was half) he invested in some of the pine garland wire branches . . . well slap my ass and call me Charlie. I should of done this year ago. Yes it is like 100% more expensive per square foot, but it is so vastly superior . .
1. I look so much better
2. It has a 10 year life span, where the other crap I had to replace almost every year.
3. It is SO MUCH easier to sting up, and put up light with it. I stead of having to use zip ties every few feet, I only used a total of 4, and that was just to hid the plugs.
I figure the amouht I am saving on zip ties and replacing the old garland will save me big money in the long term.
In addition never by anything longer than a 100 light count on the mini lights. Anything longer burns out a fuse in on season, and I don't know about you, I can never get them to work again, and throw them out. The 100 count last forever.
Now, remember this, the couple days after XMas go to Wal-Mart, all this crap is like 50 - 75% off.
And don't forget what Xmas is all about!!!
Wanna hear something scary? NBC had the brilliant idea to make a live action version of this. Wanna see a sneak? Click me. And yes, that is Harvey Fierstein and the Heat Miser . . . .
I am Malach and I am here to make XMas easier for the masses.
Give Thanksgiving a Rest
Friday, November 24, 2006
I hate Thanksgiving. I don't even get the premise. Why should we celebrate the whites invading America and the beginning of the end of Native American culture? Isn't it pretty symbolic that we overeat the food that they gave us in the same way that we took advantage of their gift of land? Those poor Native Americans on their reservations have to sit idly by as we completely miss the meaning behind Thanksgiving.
Don't get me wrong, I love turkey, stuffing, potato salad, and sweet potato casserole...once! The following days are murder because we overeat on Thanksgiving. For the next whole week it looks like Thanksgiving sandwiches three times a day. I hate the American participation in cultural events and I hate that I have to digest whatever the heck is in stuffing for the next week.
So happy day-after, WoWees, and pass the mustard.
24 Hours Later
And Thanksgiving is still going strong.
Many of us travel and eat the yucky food of relatives on Thanksgiving. Here's a f*cking idea: DO IT YOUR WAY!!!
This weekend, steal all your favorite family recipes, get some friends and cook a smaller Thanksgiving feast for yourself. It's relatively easy, b*tches. That, and no annoying in laws and butt cracks spoiling the mood. Plus, if you put up your Christmas decorations and some light jazz, you can cook it by 2 pm, kick back and relax, and eat in a casual manner for all eternity.
Now, the Murk household is dry, but if you're into getting a little sh*tty, buy some nice wine and or beer and have a little late night party with your best buds and rock the house to some techno or whatever. It makes for a nice transition back to real life.
I say do it!!!
Murk
Enjoy More....
I think everyone needs to watch this short film. Only 6 minutes long, Mark Osborne takes you away to a fantastic little world, much like our own, where oppression is the key to success, and dreams take you everywhere. But where you end up may not be where you had envisioned. Please, enjoy More, and the beautiful song 'Elegia' by New Order.
Get Happy.
Look at the Baby I got delivered SWEET!!!
Uhh I got the "Classic white" Model with Gold hardwear, loved the Ebony but fingerprints are very noticible if you didn't have the chance to clean it up, & the "Fireburst" was cool but was $100 more expensive than the other models, color wasn't very remarkable anyways... well I am complitely satisfied with my mother's present so I think I no longer need a husband lol
Gibson Guitar!
So Close
Thursday, November 23, 2006
The Kill Whitey Podcast is 80% complete and will be up by Sunday.
Hate will reign.
More from the "WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE" File
This proves that people are stupid.
I thank you for your time.
End of line.
Coming Soon
The WoW Webcomic . .
Based on the Tales of WoW, at Stool Sample Webcomics. And exclusively at the WoW, a sneak peak of some of the chracter designs.
How's that for anticipation.
I am Malach, and I'm stuck on you, I got feeling down deep in my soul, that I just can lose . . .
Hump Day Jokes ...
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
~*~*~*~
10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving but Aren't...
1. "Reach in and grab the gibblets."
2. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
3. "I'm in the mood for a little dark meat!"
4. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
5. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
6. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
7. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
8. "It's cool whip time!"
9. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
10. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out.
~*~*~*~
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an Occupational Benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden?
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about?" The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about?"
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeepers temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!" The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK, you win!" "The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says, you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"
(Don't ya just love lawyers!)
~Have a Happy Turkey Day Woweees~
The State of the Nation..
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
...People are starving to death. Homelessness is rampant. Money is cut from federal programs to protect and help the underpriveledged. There is war. Deceipt. Theft. Murder. And in the middle of all this, I bring you the definition of frivolity. I bring you.....
We, as a civilization, are doomed.
and rightly so.
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