From the AP:
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said Thursday the war in Iraq is "lost," triggering an angry backlash by Republicans, who said the top Democrat had turned his back on the troops.
...
"I can't begin to imagine how our troops in the field, who are risking their lives every day, are going to react when they get back to base and hear that the Democrat leader of the United States Senate has declared the war is lost," said Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky.
Comment:
How are they going to react? I'll tell you. They are going to say: "Yeah, no shit; let's get the fuck out of here."
What a fucking hypocritical Jackass you are, Mitch McConnell, acting like you care about the feelings of the troops. If you really cared about the troops and their families you'd have vigils and ceremonies for those killed in action. You'd be there to receive the flag draped coffins. But no, we need to hide the dead soldiers and only invoke them when we have a politcal point to make.
The troops don't want to be in Iraq, they don't want to die in Iraq, and they would all be very, VERY happy to come home. They certainly don't need you to "protect" them from the words of Senator Reid. What they need is someone to protect them from President Bush and his crazy neocon cabal of right wing idiots.
The voters thought they did that in the midterm elections, but even an election doesn't seem to stop the Bush neocon war machine.
I'll tell you what the troops would think, Senator Jackass
We finally changed!
The WoW is now new blogger.
Lot of cool new features and use the labels, it will help organize this blog more! You will know need to sign in with your google account. I would also suggest you label the author of your posts, that will make it easy for fans to follow your posts by clicking on it author label.
I am Malach and I am new.
Yup, it's your fault.
We live in a society that craves attention, and craves giving attention. That's the reason why things like blogs and MySpace and YouTube and reality TV are the new cornerstones of society that they are. It's the reason why shills like Dr. Phil and Jack Thompson spout their verbal pus for the cheering crowds. It's the reason why NBC thought that it was a good idea to publish the rantings of a lunatic on national TV, thus giving the loser the very thing he wanted, national exposure.
And it's the reason why you fucking watched all of it. Its the reason why you had your eyes glued to the goddamn TV watching CNN and Fox news channel endlessly replay the same mantra;
Reporter: "There was a shooting. We don't know anymore, but we'll keep showing you the same stale footage over and over anyway, as we speculate about what COULD BE the actual facts. Don't go away, because you might miss something important! Now, a word for our sponsors."
Commercial: 'Do you have erectile dysfunction?....'"
And so on, for how many hours?
You're pathetic.
You have no life. You have no sense of your own destiny or your own worth. You endlessly run drooling from one spectacle to the next instead of reading a great work of literature, or designing an house, or learning a new skill, or inventing something, or mentoring the next generation. You roll around in a cesspit of endless gossip instead of sitting down with friends and family to talk about things that actually matter. You sit with your thumb up your ass rather than use your time to make yourself better. For fuck's sake, you don't even bother taking the time to switch thumbs once in a while.
Some loser, who was mentally ill, lost his shit and killed 33 people, the last one being himself. It's a shame he didn't start from the opposite order. It's a shame everyone is wallowing in fake sympathy and melodramatic selfish shared tragedy all of a sudden, when shit like this is happening every day to equally good and innocent people in other parts of the world. It's a shame that instead of working to change the world to make it a better place you just look for the next big thing to ring your hands about uselessly, or look for some way to stick the blame on your chosen enemies, whoever they may be.
And you're still doing it because you're reading yet another post on a fucking blog that doesn't mean anything, and as a result the world has gone unchanged by you for a couple of minutes more.
As I said, you're pathetic.
Get out of my sight.
Hump Day Jokes!
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally givths a thit."
~*~*~*~*~
Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach, and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with breasts a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Minutes later, he runs back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with penises a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later, he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw, and the more they talked, the dumber he got!"
~*~*~*~*~
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman, said, "Sure!" The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, "352." This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Google has a sense of humor
Check this out...
1. Go to _www.google.com (http://www.google.com/)
2. Click on "Maps"
3. Click on "Get Directions"
4. Type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. Type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. Click on "Get Directions."
Take a look somewhere around # 23.
The pedia worth clicking on
We've had the Wiki-bombs set.....we've tried to eliminate the whole Wiki-Nazi....
But alas...I have found a PEDIA worth keeping around.
Folks! I present today's accidental find....
NAKEPEDIA!!!!!
It has every porn star and their stats!
Please...go.....check it out....HERE. You'll thank me in the morning.
*** This has been a pubic service announcement ***
Toyi war experience Chapter IX
Okay, continuing with my accustomed post about Civil war in my country, I will bring what I left pending last time.
The sweetness of aunt Marin, she had lost her 2 kids and the approach to Me and my brother reminded her own kids. As I said before she had a daughter few years later after her last boy past away, her daughter was a year younger than me and a year older than my brother.
Okay we were like the 3 musketeers, we always played together, we didn’t have toys because we were not in an economic position to have toys, but that didn’t stop us to play and we didn’t miss toys. (you only miss what you have lost anyways); we got very creative playing with branches, flowers, stones, leaves, climbing trees, plastic dishes & pans we were used to grab from Granny’s kitchen. We spent great amount of time watching my grandpa work on his evil scientist projects (very fun); So aunt Marin loved to do my curls, pet me and always got me nice dresses; I started calling her mother … I didn’t rationalize this but I believe the lack of a mother and getting my aunt affection made me declare her my mother.
Well hello we also had company, other cousins… they were older than us, reason why they never played with us (they were not going to play with babies like us lol) they were kids from another aunt that also lived in the same house, 2 boys and a girl (girl was 9, 10 & 11). Aunt Marin husband abandoned her while she was pregnant of her last baby; she worked at a local Bank. There was a local National University building right across the street, one day tank noise woke us up… they parked in front of our house and raid the building, they checked in every single room and took the people out and closed it. We had never seen a real war tank before only in the movies and looked very scary and cool. Some soldiers picked up my brother and played with him for a while later on the tanks left leaving few soldiers watching the looked building door.
In those days aunt Marin felt very sick but didn’t pay too much attention to it, but she got to a point were the fevers were very high and she started swelling and was almost unable to walk. Granny took her to the doctor and the diagnosis was Cancer in her uterus and was on second stage, they said with chemotherapy she would be able to survive. Well family decided to go ahead with treatment, but things got uglier war talking. There were shut outs every single night and aunt Marin could barely move, her pain was sharp and she was unable to sleep complaining… sometimes my family had to take her to the hospital in plain curfew in the middle of the night thanks to out neighbor that owned a Taxi Cab & that didn’t care the danger to be shot, he would accompany my dad and Granny carring aunt Marin.
I worried very much and it was hard to think that none of them may come back alive, the dawns were long for me and all I could do was to watch over my little brother sleep.
Okay after some months of going-coming, midnight trips, lots of spent nights with aunt Marin doctor had a new diagnose… the cancer was gone but the chemotherapy had permanently damaged her kidneys and needed a transplant immediately they tested the adults in my family for compatibilities and found aunt Wilma, aunt Wilma lived in the country capital since she married; she was completely willing to give her kidney for her sister, they went ahead with the surgery… and performed the transplant, few months later aunt Marin died at age 33for surgery complications. Honestly I sort of didn’t want to write this chapter just because of this, I didn’t know how to put this in words because this is a moment in my life that is very hard and sad to describe my feelings. When my aunt was agonizing, they took us (kids) to the other part of the house, I sensed there was something far from right, lots of motion among the family; people coming others going, others commenting about her words to them, others trying to hide that they were crying, I felt desperate and I tried to listen what people were saying waiting to hear at least that she was doing fine. Few hours later some other family member approached to us (kids), we all sat and she told us that aunt Marin was not going to be with us any longer (Toyi cries) that she has gone to heaven, and now was an angel.. That night they made us wear our nicest clothing (a dress she bought for me in the past) and the funeral was held at home because of the war and curfew to avoid exposing family and friends, I remember all the lights in the room she was in, all the flowers and all the people around us, I approached to her coffin and asked my dad to hold me up to see her, she was there laying, I felt good at the moment because I didn’t see her suffering, her face looked relaxed and far from her common pain expression, she looked beautiful wearing a dress I tried to recognize but I couldn’t, it was a light purple dress, I observed her chest and confirmed she wasn’t breathing … she was like a doll (beautiful and lifeless, just like when you lay a doll and closes her eyes) I even thought, yes she is indeed an angel now.
God!
Okay, I have a free day and a free thought today, is sunday and is not more day to live, despite all the resentments that go around God's ways, I encourage you to look for him, he is at the door knocking and all we have to do is open it so he can come into your life (if is what you really want).
God is not something to debate, God is not something that you can figure from outside, God is not your servant or your genie to do what you want like in Aladin tale, God is a king, king that governs in your life only if you let him in.
Nothing I say is going to convince you or amaze you about him, all I can say is that I am amaized soooo amaized that I can't hide my feelings and as good feeling I would at least tell you to give him a chance to be in your life because I would like you to have what I have, what can you lose?... you have to meet him personally to get to know him better, don't listen to people's opinion about him specially knowing that they have never met him personally because all they have is an opinion if you really have considered it please try personally and open the door, he is knocking.
Who is the real Otis Serungis.
Otis Serungis.
Occasional article contributer, and poster, what do you really know about him? He likes to write articles about waste management, and he might be a Portagee.
Malach has obtained this exclusive video, of a recent date Mr. Serungis had. He is the one in the blue bathrobe, the bathrobe he affectionately calls Mr. Sticky.
So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
I am Malach and I bring you the dirt.
Once Upon a Time...
before he would become the Angry Veteran, the Angry Veteran was riding his bicycle on a warm summer day, a beatific look on his hairless adolescent face. "Tra-la-la," sang the Angry Veteran, "tra-la-la-la-lee." Smiling benignly, the Angry Veteran approached an intersection and signalled a left turn. The Angry Veteran was always careful to use hand signals, as he was taught "safety first!".
Heedless of the Angry Veteran's signal, a large, black Cadillac hurtled through the intersection and collided with the Angry Veteran just as he was making his turn. It turned his bike into a twisted metal pretzel and sent the Angry Veteran hurtling through the air, where he would come to rest against a very hard stone curb. His beatific smile vanished, and his leg was broken so badly it left him with an unsightly scar he bears to this very day.
The car door opened and a man stepped out. "What did you do to my car?!!!" screamed the driver of the Cadillac, a rotund, heavily-accented Portuguese man indifferent to the bleeding Angry Veteran on the side of the road.
And do you know what happened next?
The Angry Veteran killed that man.
Wear your seatbelt, dumbass
From the AP:
CAMDEN, N.J. (AP) -- Gov. John C. Corzine was apparently not wearing his seat belt as required by law when his official SUV crashed into a guard rail, leaving the governor hospitalized in critical condition, a spokesman said Friday.
The crash broke the governor's leg, six ribs, his sternum and a vertebrae. Authorities were searching for the pickup truck driver blamed for causing it.
Comment:
What do you mean, "apparently" wasn't wearing his seatbelt. He was either wearing it or not. Why is there a law requiring you to wear your seatbelt? So when some idiot swerves into you and wrecks your SUV you get minor contusions and soft tissue injury and not a broken leg, sternum, vertebrae, and rib cage.
I know it's only been the law for over twenty years and you are just the chief executive responsible for enforcing the law in New Jersey, but hey, dumbass, put your seatbelt on.
Quick, someone blame Al Sharpton or rap music - a white guy got hurt.
The Marketplace has Spoken
You're fired.
While I would like to think that the executives at MSNBC and CBS Radio dismissed Imus for his history of sexist and racist remarks; culminating in his attack on the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team, I know it isn't.
The reason he was fired: Adam Smith. Economics, baby. Advertisers were leaving the Imus show in droves. Insiders report that the numbers of cancelled advertisers was in the triple digits.
Why is this a good thing? Because advertisers are just a reflection of society - their entire existence depends on knowing what people want and don't want to hear. In addition, they know what kind of demand they can and cannot create with advertisements. Imus is no longer a product people want or a product advertisers can convince people they want. Good for us.
So, the bad news is that there are still plenty more sexist and racist "shock jocks" out there who are all too ready to laugh their misogyny and racism off as "just a joke" - but the good news is that the tide is turning.
Good riddance Imus.
Kurt Vonnegut
Today, one of the world's greatest satirists of all time has died today at the age of 84. For more on the story click here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18066068/?GT1=9246
Short .... Hump Day Jokes...
The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike!"
*~*~*~*
*~*~*~*
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
Don Imus
So, I was going to write an insightful blog but . .
I read this article by Jason Whitlock (who would kick that midget Lupica's ass) in the Kansas City Star. I am reprinting the entire article here without permission. Sue me.
Imus isn’t the real bad guy
Instead of wasting time on irrelevant shock jock, black leaders need to be fighting a growing gangster culture.
By Jason Whitlock
Thank you, Don Imus. You’ve given us (black people) an excuse to avoid our real problem.
You’ve given Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson another opportunity to pretend that the old fight, which is now the safe and lucrative fight, is still the most important fight in our push for true economic and social equality.
You’ve given Vivian Stringer and Rutgers the chance to hold a nationally televised recruiting celebration expertly disguised as a news conference to respond to your poor attempt at humor.
Thank you, Don Imus. You extended Black History Month to April, and we can once again wallow in victimhood, protest like it’s 1965 and delude ourselves into believing that fixing your hatred is more necessary than eradicating our self-hatred.
The bigots win again.
While we’re fixated on a bad joke cracked by an irrelevant, bad shock jock, I’m sure at least one of the marvelous young women on the Rutgers basketball team is somewhere snapping her fingers to the beat of 50 Cent’s or Snoop Dogg’s or Young Jeezy’s latest ode glorifying nappy-headed pimps and hos.
I ain’t saying Jesse, Al and Vivian are gold-diggas, but they don’t have the heart to mount a legitimate campaign against the real black-folk killas.
It is us. At this time, we are our own worst enemies. We have allowed our youths to buy into a culture (hip hop) that has been perverted, corrupted and overtaken by prison culture. The music, attitude and behavior expressed in this culture is anti-black, anti-education, demeaning, self-destructive, pro-drug dealing and violent.
Rather than confront this heinous enemy from within, we sit back and wait for someone like Imus to have a slip of the tongue and make the mistake of repeating the things we say about ourselves.
It’s embarrassing. Dave Chappelle was offered $50 million to make racially insensitive jokes about black and white people on TV. He was hailed as a genius. Black comedians routinely crack jokes about white and black people, and we all laugh out loud.
I’m no Don Imus apologist. He and his tiny companion Mike Lupica blasted me after I fell out with ESPN. Imus is a hack.
But, in my view, he didn’t do anything outside the norm for shock jocks and comedians. He also offered an apology. That should’ve been the end of this whole affair. Instead, it’s only the beginning. It’s an opportunity for Stringer, Jackson and Sharpton to step on victim platforms and elevate themselves and their agenda$.
I watched the Rutgers news conference and was ashamed.
Martin Luther King Jr. spoke for eight minutes in 1963 at the March on Washington. At the time, black people could be lynched and denied fundamental rights with little thought. With the comments of a talk-show host most of her players had never heard of before last week serving as her excuse, Vivian Stringer rambled on for 30 minutes about the amazing season her team had.
Somehow, we’re supposed to believe that the comments of a man with virtually no connection to the sports world ruined Rutgers’ wonderful season. Had a broadcaster with credibility and a platform in the sports world uttered the words Imus did, I could understand a level of outrage.
But an hourlong press conference over a man who has already apologized, already been suspended and is already insignificant is just plain intellectually dishonest. This is opportunism. This is a distraction.
In the grand scheme, Don Imus is no threat to us in general and no threat to black women in particular. If his words are so powerful and so destructive and must be rebuked so forcefully, then what should we do about the idiot rappers on BET, MTV and every black-owned radio station in the country who use words much more powerful and much more destructive?
I don’t listen or watch Imus’ show regularly. Has he at any point glorified selling crack cocaine to black women? Has he celebrated black men shooting each other randomly? Has he suggested in any way that it’s cool to be a baby-daddy rather than a husband and a parent? Does he tell his listeners that they’re suckers for pursuing education and that they’re selling out their race if they do?
When Imus does any of that, call me and I’ll get upset. Until then, he is what he is — a washed-up shock jock who is very easy to ignore when you’re not looking to be made a victim.
No. We all know where the real battleground is. We know that the gangsta rappers and their followers in the athletic world have far bigger platforms to negatively define us than some old white man with a bad radio show. There’s no money and lots of danger in that battle, so Jesse and Al are going to sit it out.
Again, Malach is not black, nor could he ever come close to understanding what it means to be black. But I have said this before and it bear repeating. What do you black kids have to look upto? Gangsta Rappers, Sports Stars, and Drug Dealers. Why has black culture, a culture with a history longer than white culture, become this farce?
And rap/hip hop. Like most modern music, it has all gone to shit. Gone are the socially concious afrocentric artist, to be replaced by pimps and gangstas. Black sports start propogate the stereotype. We are raising a black race of incarcerated.
I am Malach, and think about it.
Why GodTube is the best site on the web
I am Malach and the Angry Piper likes big butts.
Nice Sunday!!
As you know I am Christian and I am proud to follow Christ & anounce his news, I am not a follower of "Dates" to give thanks to the one that has given his life for me.
The most clear thing to me is that I shouldn't bury and grieve for someone that is alive. So this is one of those nice resting sundays... I am no angel through human eye and don't expect to be (that will become the greatest frustration if I ever attemp to expect), but he made me perfect to his eyes and is all I care really...
I thank God for get me through very tough times in my childhood.
I thank God for grabbing me from Death's arms soooo many times and keeping me alive in the middle of civil war.
I thank God because I know the meaning of having food everyday today and because in the past no matter the amount and no matter what, he always had a bite for me.
I Thank God because he has taught me to forgive jerks and most of the times the jerk that lives in myself, because if it was for me.. I would never, but because of him and my will to please his wishes, I have learned to count their offenses and throw them to the bottom of the sea.
I thank God because he understand my feeling and because made me free to express what I want, the way I want it and even when people don't like it.
I thank God for giving me a family that cared to raise me even in their short consicence, but I thank that because he was present in their memories and their hearts is the reason that I am here alive and understanding his love deeply.
I thank God for giving me a heart and a natural body to live and to let me understand that I am here in this world for his cause, and not for evolution rutinary-trasitional purposes borning and dying for no specific reason.
I thank God for give me a special place as his daughter and not as a developing specimen only.
I thank God for giving me a pronounsible name.
I thank God for being in one I can trust besides computers.
I Thank God for respecting the wish of human being of "developing in their own" acepting none of his help.
I Thank God for willing to help only those who call for help and see it has a privilege.. not as a right.
I thank God for being there when I call on my emotional stages because he listens to me and don't charge a fee or gives me useless imperfect human methods.
I Thank God for chosing me to see his wonders.
I Thank God for enjoying his word.
I Thank God for giving human mind to think and develop not caring if they use it to stab him and denie him.
I love God because he gives me a new day every day and let me die to the previous one.
He is my special father and I thank him daily for what he has given me and for what is about to give me, I thank him for including a feeling in humanity called "Faith" that makes everything inside me funtion just like my heart does.
All%20are%20welcome.bmp
The Difference Between Cats and Dogs
The difference between dogs and cats can be demonstrated by a simple test. When you point at something, even though dogs have no hands or fingers of their own, they understand that you are pointing at something and look in the direction you are pointing.
Cats look at your finger.
Cats are fucking stupid.
This is allegorical to religious fundamentalists who take the bible literally word for word as opposed to reading it for the messages that it is meant to convey. Por exemple, the book of genesis isn't really about the creation of the universe, that's just filler, background. The creation story is there to provide a backdrop for the characters-- the first humans, who end up, though their flawed human nature, falling from grace. This is followed by later stories of Cain killing able and Noah's Ark, which are also meant to talk about human nature and other rot, ad naseum. The point of the stories are the characters. Agree with their points or not, it's obvious to anyone who passed 6th grade reading that the stories are there to serve as parables and lessons on how to behave, how to overcome hardship, what foods are safe to eat, and how to slaughter a cow properly for sacrifice.
If you look at it that way, as many religious people with a functioning brain do, then you see no contradiction with science, knowledge and faith. Knowing you evolved from a common ancestor to chimps doesn't impact your spiritual life, or your faith in the Great Old One. But when a fundamentalist looks at each and every word as being literally true in these stories, they are looking at the finger, rather than what the finger is pointing at: namely the point of the damn story.
And that is why, like cats, fundamentalists are fucking stupid.
And also why they should be provided to high school biology classes, so they can be cut open to examine their small, formalin-steeped brains, before tossing them in the dumpster.
Oh, yeah.. happy fucking Easter.
Man this guy just shook the whole foundations of scientific theory
We come from monkeys my ass!
Of course the little flaw in his argument, is bananas are perfectly designed for our monkey ancestors too . . .
Gwen Stefani, your thoughts?
I am Malach and GodTube is now Dr. Mantodea's favorite website
I want the sexual truth!
Here it is folks. The truth disclosed. I read Playboy. Seriously! I READ IT! Okay, yeah......I like looking at the pictures, too. *shrugs*
So the other night, I thought I had picked up the latest issue of Playboy (when I had actually picked up the one from December) and I began reading an article on Erotic Literature. Three authors waxed technique and gave their version of what was erotic in life as well as in literature to them as adolescents and now. It was interesting to read but it brought up a very big thought.....
What is erotic? Is it boot fetishes? Is it women in latex? Is it men with gag-balls or is it a woman tied to a tree? Is it in the sexual act itself?
And then those questions lead to, how do you present "erotic" in an original and intersting way via literature?
You see, (most of you know) I contribute to Tainted Love. I would not say my stuff is erotic. Strange maybe....with some sexual content....but not really erotic. I want to create an erotic masterpiece and present it in a way that is original, arousing and interesting.
So last night, I decided that I am going to take a public poll. Anyone and everyone (male and female) who reads this is allowed to answer this poll. All persons and answers will be kept strictly confidential. Will you please participate??
Answer the following questions and submit your answers to just.myko@gmail.com. Please use honesty (do not e-mail me and tell me you find your cereal box erotic!) and feel free to add to the questions with your comments or ask me questions.
Here they are:
What do you consider to be erotic, be it your own fantasy or something you've seen/read?
Do you read erotic literature?
If so, what story captivated you the most and why?
Do you watch pornographic movies or purchase pornographic magazines?
If so, what is your favorite medium and why?
Come on folks, help a writer out!
Screw Easter and Chocolate Jesus!
The Real "My Sweet Lord"
I am Malach, my sweet lord, hare krishna, gurur brahma, gurur vishnu, gurur devo, maheshwara, gurur sakshaat, parabrahma, tasmayi shree, guruve namah, hare rama.
Now, Auto C and YPG don't have to feel left out.
Happy Easter Weekend!
"My Sweet Lord" is, of course, getting much more publicity because people protested it and the museum decided to cancel the exhibit.
If there was a Jesus of Nazareth, he was probably black, so, technically, this is probably a more accurate depiction of him than the pasty white long haired figure with a halo that we grew up with.
But was he delicious? Sadly, we will never know. The shroud of Turin was unfortunately devoid of any chocolately goodness.
As for the medium chosen by the artist, I'm more of a milk chocolate fan, but I can certainly approve of my brothers and sisters who prefer the dark chocolate.
Whatever your preference, please go out and celebrate the return of our Sweet Lord with the chocolate of your choice. Amen!
Happy Angry Feggin' Piper Day!
I am Malach, and Frosted Lucky Charms are Magically delicious
The problem with Generation Y.
Malach is from Generation X.
I can recall things like no internet, nor cell phones, no PC's is every home, no Cable Television, Rotary Phones, the Cold War, The USSR, etc. The first time I was required to write a paper on a PC was my second year of college (1992), before that I used a typewriter. I remember my parents first cell phone, it consisted of a huge ass phone, with an attached battery briefcase. I remember when MTV only played videos and the NBA Dream Team always won the gold.
Perhaps I am just at that "When I was your age stage". But I have a real problem with generation Y, or as I call them the "internet generation", and I only figured out today what my problem with them is.
Malach runs a men's softball team, and on this team there is a group of us who are my age (35ish), and then there is another group that is 18-25. We are all friends, or friendly enough with each other, and mostly get along. Malach basically manages the team, does all the administrative work, and handles the team money. He is actually the one teams founder. Every year, we have a pre-season meeting, to go over administrative stuff, new rules, new teams, collect team dues, and brainstorm about the team and team issues. So, Malach gave the team 3 weeks notice to show up to this usually hour long meeting. Some people informed me they would not be there, fine.
Now today was the day of the meeting, and the wife informs me in the morning that all of the younger portion of the team was not going to the meeting. They did not call or e-mail me. So basically the 6 members of the team around my age showed up, and the rest of the team, again who had 3 weeks notice, did not, only telling my wife, and not me, the night before. Now granted, this is not life or death, or work, but still . . .
I look across at those that are 25 and younger and this is what I see. People who don't care about responsibility, and if the situation interferes with "playtime" they aren't interested. At my full time job, hardly anyone working there under the age of 27. Those under that age who have been hired have all been terminated because of the exact above issue. They don't care, they don't take responsibility, and do stuff like the above. They don't know the proper protocol for interacting with real people ... they are so used to the internet, e-mail, text and instant messaging. They are so used to socializing over technology, they don't know the rules of real socialization. And it is not just locally, I see it everyday from a very young MySpace generation.
And it is not just softball and work. Look at sexual relationships, men and women have this "hooking up" attitude about sex. One night stands among those under the age of 25 are very common, and girls are as bad as the guys. It is really sad. I see it to, the partying, the stuff I did in college, my just out of college friends party like they are still in college. Think nothing of drinking most nights of the week, and think nothing of drunk driving.
I don't know, maybe I am just pissed cause I feel that people older that 18 should have more responsibility for themselves. It is all instant gratification with little care for other people. I see it in this generation, i see it my younger clients. Maybe I am just getting old.
I am Malach and back in my day . . .
Ahh, someone who thinks like Malach
I am Malach, more of an angry comic book nerd
Hump Day Jokes ...with Little Johnny!!!
Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
I Fell Down
I fell down. No seriously. I was walking along and I FELL DOWN. At first I was a bit embarassed, but the people who saw me fall were very nice and helped me up. I sure am glad that they didn't laugh. I didn't fall to be funny. I slipped and fell. They were all very supportive and asked if I was okay. What wonderful people! Yes.
Yes indeed. I was okay! The people were quite relieved. Can you imagine total strangers driven into a tizzy over a little slip by a man they didn't even know? How fascinating. How utterly humane of them! I never did anything for them before and I hardly had the chance to thank them for their concern afterward. Once they knew I was okay, they went about their business as if nothing had happened. Bless them! It was all just a part of everyday life. Sure, they worried a bit, but upon seeing I was fine, they let me be, knowing that when one falls it can be a bit embarassing and the people around should act with concern but also tact.
What spectacular people, these witnesses to my fall! I sure hope that if I fall again the people around me are as capable, caring and sensitive as the ones I met when I fell today!
Now, don't get me wrong. I won't be falling all over the place just to meet people or to test the mettle of slack jawed bystanders, but if I SHOULD fall, I'm merely stating that I would prefer people around me to act in the exact fashion that these pleasant folk did.
Actually, I'm glad I fell. Had I not, I never would have known what sort of people I want around in a fall and I certainly wouldn't have met these wonderful people that set the standard for behaviour when one falls in your proximity.
I can only hope that the future holds more pleasant surprises for me.
Thank you.
A new Wiki experiment
Not sure is this one will last.
JesusMan! at the Conservapedia
I am Malach and I don't know when to quit.
Hump Day Jokes
~*~*~*~*~*~
The Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa, when they're attacked by cannibals. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're gonna eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes. Tough luck, eh? But you can choose the way you're gonna die.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe." The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it's urgent! I'll do anything to get a message to her."
Performance Enhancing Drugs
Sports has HGH, Art has LSD.
May of you know, that more and more illegal pharmacies are being busted, and names appearing on lists of steroid, HGH, and performing enhancing drug customers. Most recently one was busted that featured some big time Pro Wrestlers, as well as Baseball and Football players. Major League Baseball(MLB) is reeling right now from the allegations, and within the next 5 years, we will all probably find out that 80 - 90% of MLB player were on the stuff in the 1990's and early 2000's. MLB has also created a fall guy in Barry Bonds to take the focus off the game as a whole.
As for the National FootBall League, there have been a number of players suspended for this since 2000, the most famous being Shawn Merriman, All Pro Linebacker for the San Diego Chargers. In 2004, the Super Bowl losing Carolina Panthers had some like 32 members of their team arrested for performance enhancing drugs, including their PUNTER. What does that say? If the punter is doing it, you can't tell me the 275 linebacker who runs a 4.4 in the 40 isn't?
Someone made this recent point. Shawn Merriman weighs 272 as a linebacker, almost same weight as one of the greatest left tackles of all time Anthony Munoz. In addition, he runs a 4.61, 40 yard dash. Jerry Rice, the greatest wide reciever of all time ran a 4.60. It is possible for someone to be as big as one of the greatest offensive lineman of all time to be as fast as the greatest wide reciever of all time with out some type of enhancement? In addition, he still lead the NFL in sacks with 17, with a 4 game suspension.
While I don't mean to pick on Merriman, he was caught so he makes the easy target (plus he is an asshat). I could give you all sorts of other stats of people in the league I am sure that are similar. As fans should we care? What difference does it make if your sports stars are all junkies, bulked up on steroid, hepped up in Anphetamines? I mean after all it is entertainment, and these people are paid ungodly amounts of money to be in their best physical shape to entertain us . . . modern gladiators.
Look at it this way. Do the Beatles become the greatest band ever if not for that meeting with Bob Dylan in 1964 and he got them high on weed. LSD soon followed along with harder drugs. So do albums like HELP!; Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper, The White Album; some of the greatest music of all time: develop without Pot, Cocaine, Heroin, and LSD? You have to assume they don't. Compare a pre-drug song like Can't Buy Me Love or I Want to Hold Your Hand to something like Revolution 9 or Tommorrow Never Knows off those later albums and tell me their drug experiences did not influence their music some way. Voila, performance enhacing drugs. And how does a band go from a song like I Saw Her Standing There to Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds in 4 years time? What did the New Kids on the Block do in four years? That is like the New Kids in 1988 morphing into Nirvana in 1992.
After al what is sport but entertainment, and do you really care Stallone is taking HGH to remain buff at 60? But you do care Bonds is going to break Aaron's record? And are we hypocrits? How many of us need to drink coffee or smoke cigarettes to get through our day? How many of us drink and smoke pot to relax? How many of us take stimulants to stay awake?
I am Malach and why don't we do it in the road.
Our next Google Bomb
Since we did so well with the world's most dangerous bug . .
I've got a new one. This blog gets hit fairly often for the phrase something to throw away. So, again buckos and WoWees it is time to leave this everywhere: forums, myspace, websites, blogs, comments, and other place.
something to throw away
A Happy Potato Day.
This goes out to all the Potato Picking, Whiskey swilling, soccer hooligan micks out there! The songs for you too.
I am Malach and I am not Irish
The 30 Minute Murk-out
I had just returned from a filling breakfast at the diner down the street, when I was startled to discover that the door to my apartment was splintered and hung precariously from one hinge. I hesitated a moment, trying to determine what awaited me inside, but I could hear nothing but the refrain of “Splish, Splash I was Takin’ a Bath” blaring from within.
I was incensed. True, I do not live in the best part of town, but the thought that someone would break into my home and casually loot my apartment while listening to Bobby Darin was too much to bear. Who would dare invade my domain, heedless of the consequences? My rage boiled over, so intent was I upon entering my abode and beating the intruding miscreant to death.
And then, suddenly, I knew who it had to be.
Murk.
I could picture him splashing playfully in my bathtub, chest-deep in steamy water with soap bubbles clinging to the brim of his derby hat and the tips of his moustache. He would doubtless be playing with Randall, my rubber ducky, while Mrs. Dr. Murk scrubbed his back with a coarse sea-sponge. How I longed to burst in and knock the blaring radio into the tub with him, to avenge the intrusion and put an end to the ceaseless mind-games my infernal therapist subjected me to. But I would never get past his very capable and deadly Asian wife. Seething, I pushed open my door.
Dr. Murk was not in the bathtub. Instead, he was in my living room, dressed in a sweat-soaked tank top and extremely short shorts. In addition to his ever-present derby hat, he wore yellow terrycloth wristbands and ankle-weights strapped to red-striped athletic socks pulled up to his knees. He was marching in place, doing step aerobics upon a stack of papers I recognized as the manuscript for my novel,. The music came from my television, where an excited Richard Simmons faced a group of overweight women, performing the same exercises Murk was doing. “Ah, Piper,” said Dr. Murk as he heedlessly tread upon years of work. “Home at last, eh? It seems you caught me and the missus in the midst of our daily workout. Care to join us?”
I looked around but didn’t see Murk’s Asian wife anywhere. “What the hell are you doing in my apartment, Murk?!” I demanded, enraged.
“I told you, you thick-headed imbecile, the wife and I are ‘Sweatin’ to the Oldies’.”
“In my apartment?” I asked.
Murk stopped aerobicizing and made a point to look around as if noticing this for the first time. “Seems so,” he said.
“You broke my door, you inconsiderate bastard!”
“Hmm…yes. It was locked, you see.”
“I know!” I screamed. “I’m the one who locked it!”
“No doubt because you didn’t want anyone discovering these, eh?” Murk produced several magazines from behind his back.
“My secret porn stash!” I cried.
“Secret no longer, I’m afraid. It was child’s play to find your freezer safe, buried under dozens of frozen burritos. Then I stumbled on the key to it, hidden quite obviously between the covers of Thomas Mann’s Death in Venice that I discovered under your bed, contained within pockets of a pair of Z. Cavaricci pants I found in the box labeled ‘Chess King.” And what a find it turned out to be. Big Butt magazine—such rarified and impeccable taste you possess, Piper.” With a flourish, Murk opened one of the issues he held and eyed it with detached interest. “Well, there’s certainly no false advertising here.”
“Give those back!” I reached for the magazines, only to be seized roughly from behind. “Do not move, Piper-san,” said a female voice I knew all too well: Murk’s bodyguard, personal assassin and Asian wife, Mrs. Dr. Murk.
Dr. Murk tossed the incriminating pornography aside and continued as if uninterrupted, clasping his hands behind his back and beginning a slow pace back and forth. “While perusing your drivel-lined bookshelves, Piper, I noticed you have read Dune. Therefore I assume you are familiar with the gom jabbar, the Bene Gesserit test of humanity, but I will refresh your memory for the benefit of those who will no doubt read your whiny account of this day. My lovely wife wears upon her finger a poisoned needle. The slightest scratch from this ensures that you will die a most horrible and agonizing death. You will spasm uncontrollably and purge from every orifice, vomiting and shitting like a mink, doubtless biting though your own tongue in the process. I don’t need to remind you how desperately my lovely wife wants this to happen. She really loathes you, Piper, you know that?”
“Y-yes,” I said, fear and the four cups of black coffee I recently ingested threatening to loosen my bowels.
“Good,” said Murk. “Now, you will answer my questions. Should you even attempt to lie, my wife will prick you with that needle without the slightest hesitation, and the two of us will gleefully watch your demise. Understood?” I nodded as the frenzied, effeminate urgings of Richard Simmons, imploring the big girls to kick higher, continued over the sound of The Beach Boys’ “Help Me, Rhonda”.
“First…why have you not updated your website in months?”
“What…what do you mean?” I asked. The needle flicked slightly towards my face.
“I would advise against making me repeat myself,” Murk said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Murk!” I said, frantic. “I did update my website, just last week.”
Murk considered this. “Really?” he asked.
“Yes, really. And I’ve resumed my book reviews. I just put up the second one in 3 weeks!”
“I see.” Murk motioned and his Asian wife grudgingly released her iron hold. “What about that pathetic blog of yours?”
“I put up a poem by Langston Hughes a week or so ago—“
“Hughes,” Murk made a face. “A minor poet of middling talent.”
“Are you insane?! He was the father of the Harlem Renaissance and one of the greatest poets America has ever produced!”
“Oh…you mean that Langston Hughes. Well, no matter.”
I exploded. “And I put up another post today! God damn it, Murk, you haven’t even been to my website, have you?”
“Of course not, Piper. Do you think I actually care about anything you write?”
“Then—then why do all this?” I stammered.
“No particular reason, although I must confess I had a morbid curiosity to see how you live.” Murk cast a disdainful look about the room. “Nice place. I’m thinking about giving up the palatial estate and renting the apartment across the hall. We could be neighbors.” I stared at him in disbelief. “Anyhoo, we should be going,” Murk said cheerfully as his Asian wife wrenched open my broken door and casually dropped it on the floor of my apartment. “We took the Murk-copter today. It’s parked on the roof. There’s probably significant structural damage to your building by now, but from the looks of this place I’d say a leaky roof is the least of your problems,” Murk said as they took their leave.
“Oh, and keep the Richard Simmons tape, Piper, and try not to use it for anything other than its intended purpose. Which is exercise, by the way, not eye-candy.”
WE DID IT!
Good job WoWees.
Remeber a few months back, and Malach's world's dangerous bug campaign? Well, we did it. Go to Google, and type "world's most dangerous bug" in to the search, and then hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. Taa-Daa, our first Google bomb.
You guy rule.
I am Malach, once again proud of the Buckos and WoWees.
Hump Day Jokes ....
A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something. The boy continues."Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the store.
~*~*~*~*~
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."
~*~*~*~*~
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The Bullshit that is the Alexa ranking
Alexa, another piece of internet garbage.
Everyone knows how important your Alexa ranking for your website. Advertisers, Wikipedia, and popular site rankings use it fairly exclusively to gauge the popularity of a site and relevancy. The better the ranking, the more popular the site, the more money you will make.
Well, Alexa is ALL BULLSHIT. Why? Alexa gauges the popularity of a site, not based on visitors, but based upon visits by owners of people with Alexa toolbars, the more people who visit, who have the toolbar, the more it increases you popularity ranking. So Malach tried an experiment a about a year ago, and one more recently. A year ago, he dowload a toolbar on three computers, and visited his site everyday. His site, over the course of 3 months went from having no ranking to being ranked 38,000 (in Alexa the lower the better, Yahoo for example is number 1). That meant, I had the 38,000th most popular site on the net, according the Alexa. That is inline with stuff like Gwen Stafani, or Maddonna's website. Again, That was just using 3 toolbars. Malach stooped using them for about 8 months and of course his site dropped to 2,000,526 most popular.
So more recently, he started just using one toolbar, to see how high he could get just using one. And here is what I have.
My Site went from 2,000,526 to 555,664 in the course of 3 weeks. This blog went from not ranked to 1,210,862, and both continue to shoot up a couple times a week. I am going to see who far I can get it up, with just the one, and where maxes out. I will keep you updated. Spread the word.
I am Malach, the Bullshit exposer.
How much do I love China?
The power of the internet.
Here's a great website, thegreatfirewallofchina.org. Basically the site test for you, what website are available is China, and passes the great communist filter. RubberSuit Studios and The Wand of Wonder do.
I am Malach, and the Chinese Goverment makes me hot.
IT'S TIME FOR . . . . . .
HUMPERS!
I am Malach, and you need to watch the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Good Job.
300
300 starring Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro, Andrew Tiernan and David Wenham is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name. It recounts the Battle of Thermopylae, in which 300 Spartans (and other Greek city-states) took on the army of King Xerxes of Persia.
The visuals of the movie itself were breathtaking. While it's not like another one of Miller's graphic novels turned movie (Sin City) this movie just has as much violence. The acting, while not a reason I went to see the movie, was average at best. Though Gerard Butler as Spartan King Leonidas was memorable....though he does tend to overact in some scenes.
While history already tells us what happens at the end of the Battle, you should still see 300. It's your duty to see 300.
---
Not the longest review, but it is in my opinion that you should go see 300. If the heads and various other limbs flying across the screen won't bring you, then at least see it for...well, I guess that's the only reason you should go see the movie.
“Read the Bills Act” (RTBA)
This has about as much chance of happening as Anne Coulter sucking Howie Mandel's cock. But it's an interesting idea.
Found here;
You can read the text of RTBA by clicking the Draft Legislation tab above, or you can start by reading a summary of the legislation below. Following that summary is a description of our strategy for passing RTBA, and then a call to action.
Part 1: What RTBA does and why
Most Congressmen are lawyers, and many others are businessmen. They know what “fiduciary responsibility” is. For Members of Congress, fiduciary responsibility means reading each word of every bill before they vote.
But Congress has not met this duty for a long time. Instead . . .
Some devestating news for the WoWees
The Angry Veteran has died.
Breaking news for CNN.com, The Angry Veteran was killed today by a sniper, on the steps of New York City Federal Court, just before his trial for refusing to register for the Superhero Registration Act. The Sniper was thought to be Palmer, but it tuned out not be, and he got away
After 60 years of fighting Nazi's, Communists, and crazy German's with Red Skulls, The Angry Veteran's shield has been broken. His young boy love Bucky was so distraught he could not even answer questions.
The Veteran, also known as Steve Rogers, surrendered to police several months ago after refusing to register for the Super Hero Registration Act, enacted after a out of control powered being caused a major catastrophe. Superheroes since have been split, with Rogers leading the dissenters, and Cap'n FlackPaperPants representing the those for registration.
It was a violent end for America's hero.
The Angry Veteran first strapped his sheild on in 1941, entering WWII with the US, and because of his actions, Germany and Japan were defeated. He then established a Jewish home state in the Middle East. He then went on to fight in Korea, Vietnam, The Falklands, bring down the USSR in the 80's, and finally, personally hang Saddam Hussein. He was a symbol of America's strength, and it strong Lawful Good alignment.
"The Modern World and it magic technologies were foreign to the Veteran," stated anti hero Malach the Merciless. "I mean the man could pound down Caffeine Free Diet Coke and foot stick of peperoni, but text messaging was foreign to him. He was a good Ninji though."
Sometime villain, sometime lush, The Angry Piper was deeply saddened. "The Veteran and I, we spent a lot of time together. Yeah, he took out my Greg Brady Replication Machine; man did that piss me off. But we were like one, we even shared women, sometimes minutes after each other."
Crazy Mad Scientist Dr. Mantodea agreed. "I used to make all these crazy inventions for him, like bomb filled back packs he could spray from his wrists, shit that no one in his right mind would try . . . and you know what, he always took them out to fight crimes, and never complained."
Dr. Murk, Roger's lawyer, made this statement outside the hospital " . . . he will be sorely missed. He was fun. Remember his Dragon Eel phase? It too bad some many of his war buddies died at the hands of villians, in bizarre ways. YOU COMPLETE ME!!!!"
One person though seemed to relish his demise. "That fool Rogers, he deserved it. He was a FAG! He didn't represent America, not like me," Mitt Romney yelled out from a bullhorn to a crowd of Turbates at UMASS.
Cap'n Flack for once could not be reached for comment
For continued following of these events as they unfold please go to our subsidiary, CNN.com
I am Malach, and today is a sad day, I poured a 40 for the Veteran
Hump Day Jokes...
"No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything insight.
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey is doing now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.
~*~*~
From the desk of Just Me:
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says:"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown".The white man faints and falls to the floor.The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."
~*~*~
A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Faluijiah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
Happy Birthday Wand of Wonder
The WoW is one year old today.
So, let celebrate. 77,072 unique vistors have visited the WoW since it's begining veiwing 279,953 pages. That is 683,510 hits. Who likes us? Well most of our visitors come from the United States, Canada, China, Brazil, and Spain. The top 10 most popular pages of the past year (not counting the main page of this blog)?
1. The Murk and Malach Show
2. Our Podcast Directory
3. A couple Quickies
4. Ding Dong Saddam is Dead
5. Spacefarmer is dead
6. A Nacho Libre Review
7. Dead Fall River soldier
8. Some more Chuck Norris facts
9. The WoW vs. Wikinazis part one
10. Dr. Murk's Closet
Ahh, the memories, and what have we learned? People like article about death. Also we must thank these website for the thousands of readers they have sent our way. MySpace, Blogger, Google, InvisionFree, QQ.com, Yahoo, The CAB, and RubberSuit Studios.
Some Announcements.
I am still looking for artist of all types to join The Deck of Many Things. I have a small publisher who is monitoring the blog and interested to see what occurs, and possibly publish it as a series of books, so their is some financial gain. If you want join please read the "rules".
Also, a lot of people were asking, and many had given up, but The New West has relaunched. Well sort of. Hex has remodeled the whole idea as a new webcomic called Sunshine. I have a lot of episodes, and they will premiere at The Deck of Many Things. They are genius, in a way the Michael Jackson is genius.
I am Malach a real nowhere man.
Spiderman 3
For the next 24 hours only.
NBC.com is offering a 7 1/2 minute HD preview of Spiderman 3. You can catch it here, it is a 6 minute download on broadband, so be patient, you have until 9PM EST 3/6/07. Enjoy.
I am Malach and I bring you WoWees the good stuff.
Latest Digital Art Files from the Captain's Desktop
Can anyone guess where these sources images were taken? (hint: it's pretty obvious.)
- English Fortitude
- The Devil's Swan
- Faces In The Steel
- Abandoned Temple
- Traitors Gate
- Spirit In The Water
- Safe Harbor
The Truth is Far, Far Away!
I was totally blown away from reading this, if all these allegations are true... then the wool has truly been pulled over our eyes.
Uncomfortable Truth: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?
We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.
Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.
Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets?
Who was really behind the attack?
Why did they want the Death Star destroyed?
No matter what the answers, we have a problem.
Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of the Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may be the victims of a fraud of immense proportions.
1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?
2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?
3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?
4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?
5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?
7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?
8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?
With Age Comes Horror
This past week, instead of doing things such as "work" and "learning" in chemistry, we had this conversation regarding nostalgia. It's no secret that most of the shows and books we loved as kids actually sucked (except Transformers. Man, that was awesome). They stick into our minds as something very special to us, though, until we actually go back and watch them again. You all know exactly what I'm talking about, so there's really no need to give any examples, as this isn't really the point.
I was recently inspired by a friend to reread some Calvin and Hobbes, so I sampled a bit of my massive collection. Back in the day, when I first gave it a read, it was playfully hilarious and quite amusing to me. Bill Watterson's art and the wanton attitude of Calvin as a whole never ceased to bring me smiles and sunshine. I never knew, though, that Watterson really had something to say.
My reading yielded things that my puny little sixth grade mind couldn't even begin to fathom. Watterson inserted social commentary and philosophical quandary into his comic, so much so that it almost scared me to think that I could have read it all several times years ago and never even gave it a thought. What I found was not the lighthearted romp of yore but a stunning satire, a perfectly placed societal snub.
I am not denying Watterson's credibility as an artist. His comic is still the best around and it actually says more about him that he can write for young and old alike and still keep things fresh and funny. My point is, though, is that it is not the same. I tried simply to take a trip to the past, to simpler times when life was without burden, adults held my hand every step of the way, and mathematics as a concept was easy and perfectly understandable. I wanted some sort of escape from responsibility, age, and what my teacher calls "math class." I instead found the stunning realization that change is altogether universal and unavoidable. Like it or not, my entire perception of everything had been altered by increased age, experience, intelligence, and wisdom. My past, though inarguably part of who and where I am today, is gone, locked in the archives of myself, never to be visited.
On the other hand, though, as a student who takes great interest in sociology, Calvin and Hobbes is fantastic. Like the poems of Stephen Crane (one of few poets I respect), these strips say so much in so little. The messages are subtle and easily missed, but they are there when read in such a fashion. I wasn't disappointed to find this as much as I was surprised, but I'm not certain yet if the surprise was pleasant. My current explication of Watterson's classic has led me to the discovery that I have been steadily engraved with ardent cynicism over the years, and I can only wonder where my newfound satirical outlook has struck between these two occurrences. If a lesson can be learned from this, it has got to be this: take great care when trying to revisit the past.
When Vader calls the Emperer
Out of all of the Star Wars' spoofs that I have seen, this one has to be the funniest so far.
A call to artists
The Deck of Many Things
I have begun a new webcomic, called The Deck of Many Things, we are looking for artist to join us, instructions at the blog. The goal is to make a book.
I am Malach and I like you.
Latest Digital Art Files from the Captain's Desktop
I always use my own images, but today I decided to use some pics I found online. Enjoy!
McCain says he misspoke in saying U.S. lives 'wasted'
Yes there lives were wasted, you pansy!!! Listen up, everyone who has been offended when Obama and McCain both said the American soldier's lives have been wasted in Iraq...
YES, THEY WERE WASTED!
For fuck's sake, that's the reason why the war is so fucked up, you cock heads. If their lives were NOT being wasted, then that would mean the war was actually going well and they were accomplishing something with their sacrifice!
They are not. Therefore when they are killed, their sacrifice is a waste. Waste is when you take something that has VALUE and expend it one something that does not return that value equally. THAT'S WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS!!!!!!!!!
So yes, even though both McCain and Obama chickened out when they were called on what hey said, I'm saying it again;
THE LIVES OF OUR TROOPS WHO HAVE DIED IN IRAQ HAVE BEEN WASTED! THEY DIED FOR NOTHING! AND IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT AMERICA!
Stop getting all offended when the fucking truth is pointed out to you. Get mad at the assholes you elected and thus are RESPONSIBLE for our soldiers being killed!